My heart falls to the pit of my stomach. “I don’t know, Rose. Damon and I aren’t together. We had dinner Wednesday, and he left abruptly. I haven’t seen him since.”
“I know you had a little disagreement, but I didn’t think it was something that would break you up. What happened?”
I only give her the information about what happened at Ahz. If Damon wants his mom to know the rest, he needs to tell her himself.
“I’ll help you find him.”
“Thank you.” She already sounds like the worry aged her. “I’ve lost one son, and I can’t lose another.”
I’m frozen with fear because I know what Damon looked like when he left the restaurant. He was a broken man.
I grab my purse and keys and run for the door.
My first stop is his house. I key in the code to the gate and thank God he put his house key on the ring.
I move through the house, calling his name, but he’s not there.
My clothes are strewn across his bed, making it clear he slept with them. It breaks my heart to know how much he’s hurting.
My next stop is Noble Enterprises. As soon as I enter the garage, I know he isn’t here because the Mustang is missing.
Entering Ahz, I scour the garage, but he’s not there either. I check the local hospitals and call the police to make sure he hasn’t been detained. No one has heard from him or seen him.
I drive to Griffith Park Observatory because he said he goes there to think, but I don’t find him.
I sit in the driver’s seat and think about where he’d go to feel connected or safe? It hits me, and I can’t drive fast enough.
I make it to Brentwood in record time and find his childhood home. His car is nowhere in sight, but somehow, I know he’s here. I can feel him.
I park the Charger and run to the backyard. If he isn’t here, I don’t know what I will do. The rope ladder swings in the breeze. With trepidation, I take one rung at a time.
At the top, I peek over the edge and see him curled up on his side. He hasn’t shaved in days. He’s in the same suit he wore when I saw him at Ahz, but despite being in disarray, he’s still an exquisite man.
“Damon, I’m here. I’m here, baby.” I lie down and spoon him. “Turn over and let me look at you.”
“Oh, Katarina, are you here?”
“I’m here.”
He turns and stares at me.
“I can’t do this without you. My life is nothing unless you’re in it.”
I sit up and guide his head into my lap while I run my fingers through his hair. I cradle him for over an hour.
How can I not love this man?
Looking up toward the sky to pray, I see another set of initials carved into the ceiling. The letters are mine and encased in a heart.
“Let’s go home, honey. We can clean you up, and I’ll make dinner. If you want, we’ll snuggle on the couch.”
I get him down the ladder and into the Charger.
The closer we get to his house, the more alive he becomes. As soon as we are inside, I take him upstairs, start the shower, and text his mother to tell her he’s safe.
With the jets set, I turn my attention to caring for him.
“Katarina, you don’t have to do this. I can get myself in the shower. I’m okay now.” He shrugs out of his jacket and takes off his shirt. He’s thinner—almost frail looking. “Thank you for coming. It’s good to know you still care.”
“I’m here because I love you, and I want to take care of you. Now, let’s get you in the shower.”
Finding a plastic bag under the sink, I wrap my cast and climb in behind him. For the next fifteen minutes, I make sure Damon is clean from head to toe.
Once out of the shower, I dry him and dress him in sweatpants and a T-shirt and tuck into his bed.
“I’ll be right back. I’m just getting you dinner.”
With a glass of water in one hand and a bowl of spaghetti in the other, I return to him.
He’s curled in on himself and looks as small and timid as a child. He faces me when I enter.
“You don’t have to stay.” I know he says that for my benefit, but I can tell that he’d prefer I stay.
“I remember a man sitting beside my hospital bed. He remained with me even though no one wanted him there but me. If you don’t want me here, then I’ll leave, but I want to stay.”
“I can’t have you stay if you plan to leave me again. I won’t survive that.” His head falls back to the bed.
I can’t leave him because I love him. He has so much shit to wade through, but I don’t expect him to do it alone.
“A while ago, we said we’d take it one kiss at a time, and I’m still willing to do that.” I sit on the bed beside him. “I’m sorry I left you when you needed me the most. I may never forgive myself for that.”
He pulls himself up and leans against the headboard.
“You were right to leave me. I was holding on to the past, but you’re wrong about one thing. I don’t love Mara. I love the memory of Mara because when she was around, so was Roman.” He reaches up and touches a strand of my hair. “When she kissed me, I felt nothing. They weren’t your lips. She had the wrong feel and taste and smell. I tried to hold on to the memory of the brother I loved, not the one who hurt me. Not the one who betrayed me.”
“What they did is unforgivable. Do you think his condition made it difficult for him to think straight? Maybe he wasn’t in his right mind.” I swirl a bite of pasta on the fork and feed him.
“I thought about that, but I can’t give him an easy out, and Mara has no excuse at all. Roman was an asshole, and she was a selfish bitch.”
He takes another bite. We continue that way, a bite and talk until the bowl is empty. With his belly full, he settles back and sighs.
“When he died that June, I tried to adopt my mother’s perception of him. What I knew in my head never matched the truth in my heart, and it messed me up. I can’t get the vision of walking in on them out of my head. When he saw me, his response was classic Roman. He looked at me and told me to go screw myself, because after having him, Mara wouldn’t have anyone else.”
“That’s awful.”
“I got my nose broken for losing a baseball mitt, and he got nothing for stealing my life. Days later, he found out about the leukemia. I never talked to him again. He died June fifteenth with no one there but our mother. I still hate him. Not because he stole my past but because he’s stealing my future.” He sets his hand on my shoulder. “You’re my future, and I won’t let him or Mara take you from me.”
His body folds around mine. He fits me like we were custom made for each other.
“It’ll be okay,” I whisper.
We slide down on the bed. He curls around me, and I’m happy to be in his arms.
“Don’t give up on me,” he whispers.
“I won’t.”
I swear he kissed me. I know he kissed me, but his words made little sense. “I’ll be back.”
I fell back to sleep and dreamed of Terminator.
I walk downstairs, expecting to find him. Instead, there’s a note on the counter.
Katarina,
Thank you for being there and giving me love I don’t deserve. I have a few things to take care of before I can offer you more but don’t doubt that I will. With you, I want everything. The house, the kids, the gray hair. Give me a little time. I’m coming back, and I hope you’ll be waiting for me.