“For every man she might alienate with the content, she’ll bring in five women. It’s still a net gain for us, which means more sales. This could be a New York Times bestseller, no matter what you think. And we can’t afford to lose another popular author.”
And that was her dig right back at me. She still blames me for our most popular and bestselling author leaving the company, even though that decision had nothing to do with me.
“I’m sorry.” I say, trying to compromise. “I’ll let her finish, alright, but I can’t sign off on this just because you’re scared we’re going to go out of business. No one author has the power to make or break a whole company. It doesn’t work like that.”
I can tell that she doesn’t like what I’m saying, but I can’t make everyone happy. I have to do what I think is best, and no matter how many new readers she brings to the table, I can’t give this book the green light.
But there is something I want to know—something that’s been bothering me this entire pitch—and not just the content of the book. I have a question for my favorite feminist. “Sorry about that, Tori.”
“No problem. Should I go on?”
“Actually, if you’ll indulge me, I have one last question for you about this whole book.”
“Sure. Fire away.”
“Something you wrote in the introduction struck me as odd. I’ve been meaning to ask you about it since this meeting started.”
“Which part?” she asks.
I flip back to the beginning of the book. “Here it is. Your book is mainly transcriptions of interviews you did with women on your podcast and in your vlog, right?”
“Mostly,” she says. “Like, maybe 75% that and the other 25% are my own thoughts and conclusions. You know, the parts you hate.”
“Right, that. In your first paragraph, you talk about how even though you’re writing a book all about men, that you’ve never really been in a serious, long term relationship with one yourself. Is that true?”
She takes a big deep breath, which gets me even more curious. “Technically, I’ve only been in one real relationship—in college. It didn’t end well.”
“I see. And is that how you came to all your conclusions on men? Based on one bad experience?”
“No, Cormac,” she says with an edge to her voice. “It’s not. You really think I’d have one bad experience and then write a whole book? It’s not as simple as all that. Like you said, most of the book is other women’s experiences. But the whole social media thing started with my own.”
I think about what she just said, and I’m torn between wanting to ask my next question and not coming across as too much of an asshole. The curious part of me wins out. “So, can I ask you something else, then?”
She takes a deep breath, so loud that I can hear it from across the table. Clearly, she’s had enough of me, but I can’t help myself. “Go ahead.”
“How can you claim to be some kind of expert on men when you’ve never been in a real relationship, save for one relationship in college? Doesn’t that seem a little contradictory to you?”
“Contradictory?”
“Yeah. Meaning, you’re repeating other women’s experiences, but past your one experience in college, you don’t have any of your own.”
“Cormac, I think you’re out of line here,” Elissa interjects.
“It’s okay, Elissa,” Tori says. “I don’t think I need to be in a bunch of relationships to draw some basic conclusions about them.”
Wrong answer. I was hoping for some self-reflection. Some acknowledgement that maybe she’s not quite the expert she thinks she is. Instead, she just dug her heals in and killed any chance of me saying yes to this drivel. “Alright, then.” I stand up. “With all due respect, I have to say no to this. I don’t think you have a leg to stand on with it, and I don’t think it’s even marketable, save for maybe to your followers. You have some interesting stories in there, but all the other things—your conclusions—I just can’t get there, Tori. I’m sorry.”
I get up to head back to my office.
Before I’m completely out of the room I steal one more look at her.
She really is so beautiful, even though she looks like she’s ready to kill me.
It’s a damn shame she hates men so much.
Tori
What an arrogant asshole!
If I’d known my first book pitch was going to be like my actual first time—messy, uncomfortable, faster than I imagined, and ultimately disappointing—I would have mentally prepared myself. But I believed Elissa when she said that this was just a formality. She said that she loved the samples I gave her, and so did their other parter, Cynthia. She never mentioned that the third partner I’d be facing was their hanging judge.
“What the hell?” I don’t mean to sound bitchy—Elissa did me a favor by reaching out to me in the first place, but I definitely feel like I got sideswiped.
“I’m sorry, Tori. I had no idea anything like that was going to happen..”
God, that Cormac was a total jerk to me! I mean, who does he think he is? Like it matters that he has crystal blue eyes you get completely lost in when he talks, or that he’s over six feet tall and built like a gym rat. That doesn’t give him free range to be a douche. I feel so silly that I walked into this.
If I didn’t have so much respect for Elissa, I would have followed him out of the room and told him what I really thought of him. But I appreciate the opportunity she gave me, even if the whole thing went south. She comes around to the other side of the table and sits down next to me. She’s only a little bit older than me, but she’s treating me like she’s my mom.
“I feel terrible Tori. I know I made it sound like this was going to be. . . easier than it was.”
Easier. That’s an understatement. She made it sound like I already had a book deal and all I had to do was sign the paperwork. “You didn’t know he’d react like that? He’s your partner.”
“He is that,” she says. “He’s also a friend, and I have to be honest, I’ve never seen him treat an author that way. Something in your book must have really rubbed him the wrong way. Trust me, the last thing I’d ever do is purposely walk you into something like that. I really had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks, Elissa, but you really don’t need to apologize to me, it’s not your fault. If he hated it, he hated it, there’s nothing I can do to change his mind, I guess.”
“Actually, that might not be completely true.”
I make a puzzled face. “Huh?”
“I didn’t tell you this before because I didn’t think I’d need to, but I think now is a good time to go over some policies that our company has. All of us—myself, Cormac, and Cynthia are all equal partners when it comes to publishing deals. Meaning that we’re either unanimous in accepting a book, or unanimous in rejecting it.” Great. Fuck. My. Life. “So, as much as I love you, I can’t override that policy to push your book through.”
“No, of course not, and I’d never ask you to. So I guess I’ll shop the book around somewhere else. Maybe you could point me in the right direction and. . .”