I could never abandon my father. Never. But could I really walk away from Xander?
We said we were just friends, but that was bullshit. I could say it a million times and it wouldn’t make it true. Xander was so much more than a friend. I wanted him to be so much more than a friend. I hoped he felt the same way.
I wasn’t well versed in the art of love and relationships, but when we were together, it certainly felt like there was something happening between us. I felt like our lives were slowly weaving together. I could almost picture the intricate stitching happening every time we talked, touched, and made love.
“Oh, Evie,” I said on a sigh. “Why do you do this to yourself?”
I had no one to blame but myself. I shouldn’t have asked him to the park that first day. I shouldn’t have gone out on his boat and had sex with him. I shouldn’t have gone to him after my father explicitly told me not to.
Unfortunately, I did all those things and now I was going to pay a high price for it. I smiled a little as my mind drifted back to Saturday night.
Truthfully, the price was kind of worth it. That night had been amazing, and it would be one I looked back on often with a great deal of fondness and heat.
Chapter 29
Xander
I carried the cold beers out to the patio where Charlie was lounging in a chair. The grill was smoking, releasing an enticing aroma that promised some good eating was going to be happening soon. I handed him the beer and moved to the grill to check the status of our steaks. Both of us had managed to get off early and decided steaks and cold beer were exactly the way to finish the day.
My phone rang in my pocket. I put down my beer and fished it out. It was Kade. “Hey, little brother,” I said. I nodded at Charlie as I walked by to go back in the house. It was the universal head nod that said I would be right back. “What’s up?”
“I’m officially on leave!” he exclaimed. I could hear a lot of hoots and hollers and talking in the background. I was guessing he was at a bar with his buddies and celebrating their freedom.
“Awesome.”
“Come up,” he said, sounding just a little drunk.
I laughed. “It’s kind of short notice,” I told him. “I’ve got meetings all day tomorrow. I can’t get up there just yet. I thought you were going to give me some notice.”
“Ah, man,” he said, and then I knew for certain he was drunk.
“I’m sorry. What about next week?”
“How about I go there?” he asked.
I stopped walking. “Really?”
“Yeah, why not?”
I smirked, shaking my head. I knew exactly what was going on. “Dad doesn’t want me there, does he?”
He was quiet for just long enough to tell me that was the case. “I want to go there,” he insisted.
“You’re a fucking liar.”
“Hey now,” he said with a laugh. “It will be fun. I want to check out the house I have only seen pictures of.”
“Great,” I said, pushing down the hurt that threatened to spring to life after essentially being disinvited from my brother’s homecoming. “I’ll fly you down.”
“I don’t need your fucking money, Xander,” he answered. He wasn’t being mean or rude. It was his pride. I got it.
“Okay, then fly yourself down here.”
I could hear him drinking and waited for him to answer. “I’m going to. It’s not very warm here and the god damn wind. It’s like being back in the desert with all the fucking sand in my teeth.”
I had to laugh. “Get your ass down here. When are you coming?”
“I promised I would go fishing with Dad tomorrow. I’ll get a flight for Saturday. Can you free up some of your precious time for your little brother?”
“Yes. Let me know the details and I’ll pick you up.”
“You fucking better,” he slurred. “I can’t believe you won’t come see me.”
“I will, but I can’t be there right this minute.”
“That’s okay. I’m going to come there.” He was definitely getting a good drunk on.
“All right, have fun and I’ll see you soon,” I told him before ending the call.
It was always the same thing when he got back from deployment. No one ever lectured the guys about drinking too much the first few nights they were on leave. It was one of those unspoken rules.
They got away with just about anything in those first few days, especially if it was a long tour or a tour that ended with a few of their buddies being shipped home in caskets. I couldn’t begin to understand his life or what he saw or went through, but I knew it wasn’t pleasant.
He was a strong man and stayed upbeat, but I knew he had his demons. One day, he would have to deal with it all. I just hoped he was ready for it. Fortunately, he did have our father to lean on. My dad had seen a lot during his time in the service and knew how to help Kade cope. I didn’t. It was just another bond between the two of them.
I made my way back to the patio and found Charlie at the grill, pulling our steaks off.
“Done?” I asked.
“To perfection,” he answered. “How’s your brother?”
I laughed. “Drunk.”
“I take it he’s on leave?”
I sat down at the table and reached for my beer. “Yep. He’s coming down on Saturday. Apparently, daddy dearest did not want the black sheep in the same state.”
He winced. “Sorry, man. That sucks. Your old man is tough. I would think with the success you’ve had, especially in the last year, he would get over the fact you didn’t enlist.”
I shrugged. “I guess not. It’s cool. I’m glad Kade is coming here. I’m looking forward to hanging out with him.”
“Are we going to hit the bars? A Marine always gets the ladies. I’d be more than happy to serve as his wingman.”
I had not seen my brother in a long time. I wanted to be a little selfish with the short time I had with him. “Actually, he’s only going to be here a day or two. I was thinking about him and I reconnecting.”
Charlie held up a hand. “No problem. That’s good. You guys need to hang out.”
“Maybe another time,” I offered.
“Absolutely. I will look forward to it. How goes it with you and your new lady?”
The smile was an automatic reaction. There was no stopping it. “Good. Very good.”
He chugged his beer. “No shit? I didn’t think it would last.”
“Why not?”
“Because you are not the kind of guy that dates a woman more than a couple times. And you are not the kind of guy who gets that cheesy, lovesick smile on his face when I mention the woman.”
“I’m not lovesick,” I protested.
“Have you guys hooked up since the last time?”
It was a direct question. It should have been an easy question to answer. I didn’t want to answer it. It felt wrong to talk about Evie and I hooking up. I was beginning to see it less and less as a hookup. “We spent some time together over the weekend.”
“Oh, that’s right,” he said with a nod. “You were supposed to meet her dad. How did that go?”