He left after that, his footsteps on the stairs followed, the door to his apartment closing shortly after.
I settled on the bed. I was going to need to get some clothes, but I’d deal with that tomorrow. Tonight, I took a deep breath, having taken the first step to get away from my dad, and the one and only person I wanted to talk to was the one I was trying to shield from the ugly. Talk about a fucking catch twenty-two.
I got a few stares walking down the hall at school. As predicted, Kenneth had left his mark on my face. A few girls asked about it, but I shrugged it off. I looked for Cedar, hadn’t slept at all last night, but I didn’t have the cot to blame for that. I shouldn’t have approached her. I should have kept things how they were, watching from a distance, but talking to her again, being around her, turned on the light, and after being in the dark for so long, I didn’t want to go back. I drew the rainbow down from the sky. When what you wanted was right there for the taking, how the hell did you resist?
She wasn’t at her locker. Had probably already gone to her first class. My class was on the other side of the school. I had no reason to walk that way, particularly when the person I wanted to see didn’t want to see me. Didn’t stop me, though. The door to her room was open. She was there, in the front row as was her way, but unlike usual, she didn’t have her notebook out. She always had her notebook out. It was because of me and that hit hurt more than the punch to the face last night.
I was late to class, didn’t pay attention to the lecture, struggling with knowing what I should do and what I wanted to do. I was still struggling at lunch. Entering the cafeteria, Cedar wasn’t there. She was always at the same table, working in her notebook, her lunch forgotten. I didn’t bother with getting food, just joined Declan.
Declan took one look at me, his focus on the bruise, but unlike his usual don’t give a shit attitude, he looked thoughtful before he asked, “You good?”
It wasn’t much, but coming from Declan, he was picking a side…mine. “Yeah, I’m good.” I was distracted when Cedar entered the cafeteria. My eyes traveled down her body. Her clothes were tame by her standards, faded jeans with a peace sign on the hip and a lime green and hot pink striped shirt. Her hair was down, and I had to bite my lip because I fucking loved those curls. It wasn’t until she was halfway across the room that I realized two things. She was pissed, and she was heading right for me. There was fire in those green eyes and so much going on behind them. She looked fucking adorable, but I controlled the grin because that was only going to piss her off more.
She stopped right in front of me. I could practically see the bubble over her head. She was going to give it to me, but then quickly her expression changed. A softness entered her eyes, her focus moving to my cheek. Shit, the bruise. The last thing I wanted to do was tell her about my fucking father. I preferred the heat to the worry.
“What happened?” she asked without preamble.
Shrugging off her question wasn’t as easy as the countless others, but I tried. “It’s nothing.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing.”
I wanted to see that fire again, so I deliberately baited her when I asked, “I’m sure it wasn’t my cheek that brought you over.”
“You need something, Baby?” Declan asked. I didn’t like how closely he was looking at Cedar.
My focus shifted back to her, my voice clipped when I said, “I got this.”
I knew he was still checking her out when he said, “Well, maybe when you’re done—” He didn’t finish the sentence when I jerked my head to him. “Relax, man. Just playing.”
Forcing Cedar to be around Declan, knowing what he was thinking about my girl, and she was mine, I stood, reached for her hand and started from the cafeteria. I felt resistance, looked back. She hadn’t moved, her focus on our hands. Her head lifted, confusion in her stare now, but there was something else too.
“We’ll talk somewhere else.”
She didn’t resist when I started for the door again. We walked outside to the courtyard; I dropped her hand when we reached one of the tables because what I wanted to do was pull her closer.
“Your father?” she asked again, tenderness in her tone. I tried to shrug it off, but she wouldn’t let me. “If you want to talk about it, I’m a great listener.”
So easily offered and so sincerely meant. She was the first, and only, until Harry, to offer unconditional kindness and love. And even after hurting her, she still had it to give…to me. The reality knocked me off balance. “Yeah, my dad.”
She had no reaction at all, not even her expression changed. She studied me for a few minutes, the silence stretching out for so long I thought maybe she hadn’t heard me. Then very softly she said, “I’m here if you need me.”
After offering me that, something I wanted to grab onto with both hands, she turned and started away from me. Watching her walk away was too hard. I called after her. “Why did you approach me in the cafeteria?”
She stopped but didn’t look back at me. “I wanted to know why the change of heart.” Her head turned, and she speared me with those green eyes. “But seeing your face, I know. I think I always knew.” She turned to me. “How often does he hit you, Brock?”
I didn’t answer, but she wasn’t deterred, moving back into my space. “How often?”
I shrugged and then winced at the pain from my back. She didn’t miss a thing.
“Let me see.”
Fuck. I dropped my head, but I didn’t stop her.
I didn’t want her to see the evidence of my weakness, but I couldn’t deny her. Slowly, she lifted my shirt. I heard her gasp, and then I felt her fingers on my back; softly, she traced the purple and yellow marks that marred my skin. My eyes closed because, fuck, it felt good.
“And your mom did nothing.” She was furious.
Anger burned through me, getting more concern from Cedar than I did from my own fucking mother. “She’s perpetually in a doped-up state these days. She has no idea what’s going on.”
Silence followed for a few beats before Cedar hissed, “That’s not an excuse.”
I turned to her, didn’t want her looking at my shame anymore. “I’m out now.”
Confusion swept her expression. “I don’t understand.”
“I left last night. Staying at the garage where I work.”
She had a thought about that, but she kept it to herself.
It was a mistake; I knew it. Dragging her into the shitstorm that was my life, but the decision was taken out of my hands because I did need her. Right or wrong, I wanted Cedar and to hell with the consequences.