“How has the pregnancy been?”
My hands paused, and I looked up, losing myself a little in his gray eyes. They always fascinated me, the color so unique and sharp. I shook my head out of my trance and remembered his question.
“It’s been okay. Nothing monumental. I had morning sickness, but nothing too extreme. I’m uncomfortable most of the time, especially now, but nothing is wrong. So, I’m grateful for that.”
“Good. I’m glad everything is okay. Are there any other cravings I should know about?”
I laughed when he looked down at the meal that no longer existed with raised eyebrows. “Not really. Nothing consistent. Except fruit. Which makes me think it’s a boy. It’s one of those old-wives-tales that you crave more sour things when it’s a boy. Sweets if it’s a girl.”
His head cocked to the side. “I’m surprised you don’t want to know the sex. You are always so in control of everything; I figured you’d want to be with this too.”
“Nope. I want to be surprised when he or she arrives.”
“You’re not curious? How are you buying things?”
“I just buy everything in gray and yellow. And I’m not finding out the sex, so don’t bother trying to change my mind,” I defended.
He held up his hands in surrender. “Wouldn’t think of it. I’m excited to be surprised with you.”
“Good.”
“When is the due date?”
“October eighth.”
Ian blinked a few times and sat back in his seat like the date made it more real and knocked him back. “Wow. So soon.”
“Yup.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“Do you need anything? Anything I can buy for the baby—for you?”
A lump formed in my throat and I forced it back down. Jesus, Carina, he offered to buy you some diapers, not sweep you off your feet.
“No, I have everything. I’ve had quite a few baby showers, so I’m pretty stocked up. The rest I’ll get as I go. Although I still need to get one of those fancy glider chairs for the room. I’ve read they’re essential.”
“Okay. Good. If you need anything else, let me know. I’ll get it.”
I offered a small smile that he returned, and we settled into silence, because the easy stuff was covered, and the bigger topics were looming.
“What do we do next?” he asked.
I helpfully offered a shrug.
“Do you want me in the room? To hold your hand?”
That lump rose again at the eagerness in his voice. He wanted to be there for the delivery, and his words from earlier in the night finally hit me with some truth. This meant something to him, no matter how he screwed up, it did mean something.
But I didn’t know what I wanted next. All of a sudden, this pregnancy—that had been racing at me a second ago—seemed so far away. Like a lifetime could happen between us in the next four weeks.
“We have a month. Can we just…take some time? Get to know each other?”
“Yeah,” he gave an easy nod and swallowed. “Yeah. Whatever you need.”
“Thank you.”
“Will you let me know if anything happens—if you go into labor?”
“Of course. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Thank you.”
Silence settled again, but it lacked the stress and tension. It was lighter like we had cleared some fog and we could see more of the path in front of us, even if everything beyond was still hazy. At least we had somewhere to start.
“Well, I should get going,” I said, clearing up my trash.
At my car, I went to open the door when his hand grabbed mine, stopping me in my tracks and bringing my eyes to his. “Carina, I am sorry. I want to be there for you both, and I’ll prove to you that I can be. We’ll figure this out, and I’ll be there to do it.”
I wanted to give in to his words, but I remembered the twenty minutes I sat in a restaurant eating chips while he made out with some woman, and doubt held me back. I tried to give him some affirmations, but nothing was holding the doubt back from coloring my voice. “Okay, Ian. Night.”
His eyes slid closed as if he was in pain, but it wasn’t my job to make him feel better. He did this. When he opened them again, he tried for a smile, but it didn’t reach far. “Goodnight, Carina.”
He stepped closer and placed his hands on my stomach between us, leaning to press a soft kiss to my cheek. All the air sucked from my lungs at his touch, but he pulled back before I could do anything but barely register the heat that spread from his touch.
Just a single touch and my body burned for him.
Stupid hormones.
9 Ian
Ian: Craving anything??
Ian: I can have it here waiting for you.
Carina: I’m good. Thank you.
Ian: Sure?
Carina: Yes.
Ian: What about me? Are you craving me? ;*
Carina: *rolls eyes*
Ian: Ha! I don’t hear a no.
“Look at you, smiling like a fool,” Erik said as I strode into his office.
I flipped him off, but he wasn’t wrong. The past week Carina and I had been exchanging text messages. Well, I’d been sending them, and she’d been giving brief responses in return. But I was hopeful I’d break her down. I knew she had a wild side—I’d seen glimpses of it—but I knew she’d been hurt. It would take time to bring it out, and I was willing to be a patient man.
“Hey, Little Brandt,” I greeted Hanna, who was already sitting on the couch. “How’s life down in accounting?”
Bergamo and Brandt took up two floors of the sky rise, and Hanna was a floor below. Erik and I had claimed the two biggest offices, even though he won the better one. I tried to demand a rematch in Rock, Paper, Scissors every year but he never took the bait.
“It’s accrual world down there,” she responded with a smirk, standing to meet me halfway across the room. “But we do our best to be audit we can be.”
I laughed at her jokes, pulling her in for a hug. “Someone is full of puns this morning.”
“Better than dirty jokes like someone I know.”
“Whatever, you love it.” Pinning my arm tight around her, I held her close and gently rubbed my knuckles atop her head. She squealed in laughter at my soft noogie.
She broke free and brushed the dark strands out of her face, her green eyes sparkling with happiness, bringing forth my own smile. I did all I could to make Hanna happy. After what she’d been through, she deserved more.
Once her hair was clear, she leaned in for another hug. “I do love it,” she said softly.
A throat cleared behind me and I turned to find Carina standing proud, her chin lifted high, Jared next to her. He was rubbing the back of his head like he was uncomfortable with mine and Hanna’s affection. She was like a sister to me, and he was used to how we interacted over the years, which made me question his reaction until he glanced toward Carina.
Did Carina see it differently? Was she jealous?
She wasn’t even looking at me anymore. Instead, making her way over to shake Erik’s hand. She didn’t even care I was in the room—I highly doubted she was jealous of the noogie I just gave Hanna.