“Oh. Umm. Okay. Thank you.”
“Sorry. Hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“Me too.”
I hung up and sat there, wondering what the hell to do next.
On a whim, I typed Cincinnati and Ian into Google on an off chance that maybe something familiar would pop up. By the time I had finished scrolling, my feet were numb from where I sat on them.
More tears burned the backs of my eyes, and frustration grew. I shoved the pictures aside and took deep breaths. I wasn’t a weak woman, and I wasn’t going to sit there crying over being pregnant and alone.
I rested my hand on my stomach. “It’s just you and me, peanut.”
Nausea hit me, and I frantically crawled to the hall bathroom and emptied the small lunch I’d managed to eat.
Even panting and sweating, I was confident.
I was Carina Russo. I was going to kick pregnancy’s ass.
Once I picked myself up off the bathroom floor.
4 Carina
Six and a half months later
My stomach bounced under my palm resting there, as the elevator ascended. “It’s just an elevator, baby. No need to get riled up.”
I did that a lot, talked to the baby. I read that it was good for them to hear your voice, and since it was mostly just Peanut and me, he or she would be coming out very familiar with me. I smiled again when another kick landed against my rubbing hand. I’d just reached eight months, and I’d popped.
Thankfully, the black stretchy dress still fit over my bump, and I was able to dress it up with my mustard jacket, that used to be slouchy. Not so much anymore. The doors opened on the top floor of Bergamo and Brandt, and I winced when I stood upright. I needed to invest in a pair of dressy flats. The stilettos made me feel powerful, but now I just felt like a watermelon balancing on a toothpick with each step.
Another kick and I stopped to soothe Peanut. “Time to calm down now. Mommy has a meeting, and the last thing I need is a swift kick to the lungs in the middle of talking.”
In response, more kicks happened in quick succession. I narrowed my eyes at my stomach like Peanut could see me. “I can already tell you’re going to be just as stubborn as me. But we’ll blame any bad habits on your father.”
I felt no shame since he wouldn’t be there to defend himself.
A pinch in my chest still lingered when I thought about Ian, but months of accepting I was doing this alone eased it to a barely there whisper of an ache. I hated that I couldn’t find him, but it was like a needle in the proverbial haystack, and in the end, I would make it through, like I always did.
Rolling my shoulders back, I walked deeper into the office, greeting the secretary. “Hello, Laura. I’m here to see Erik.”
I’d been visiting Bergamo and Brandt since earlier in the year as a little side project. They wanted to open an office in London and reached out to Wellington and Russo for assistance. Since we’d already helped them set up their current business almost eight years ago, they didn’t need a whole team like they had before. No, they needed me and what I wanted to offer. So, without really discussing it with my father, I supplied them with a marketing plan completely created by yours truly. A damn good one, if I said so myself.
Jake helped out a few times when I needed to run numbers and analytics, but he didn’t need to waste time away from other projects that needed his full attention. So, he signed when required, and we hadn’t brought my father on.
“Look at you.” Laura beamed, taking in my belly. “You’re radiant, Carina.”
“I’m sweating,” I deadpanned, making her laugh. “Why the hell is it so hot in September?”
“Because you’re pregnant. It’s the law that all things to make you uncomfortable will happen in the last trimester.”
I rolled my eyes but shared a laugh with the older woman. She’d had three kids of her own, so she was kind enough to listen to me whenever I came in.
“I’ll let him know you’re here,” she said, picking up the phone. A moment later, she let me know to go on in.
I opened the door, and my eyes first locked on Erik rounding his desk. I saw others in my periphery in the seating area around a coffee table and remembered today would be a full team meeting.
“Hey, Carina. Can we get you anything to drink?” Erik asked, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. We’d become close over the past few months of working together—friends. I’d also become close to his girlfriend, Alexandra, who gave a smile and a wave on her way to the couch. At least, as close as I let people get these days.
I opened my mouth to accept some water when a voice had me choking on my words.
“Carina?” A deep voice croaked my name, pulling my eyes to the others on the couch.
Dark hair pushed back, and the most startling gray eyes I’d never forget, even if I tried.
Holy shit.
“Ian?”
What were the odds? What were the freaking odds?
“You two know each other?”
My gaze jerked to the petite brunette sitting pressed to Ian’s side. Hanna Brandt, Erik’s little sister who worked in another department on the floor below. Her eyes were wide and scanned my body, resting on my stomach. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before, but as she looked between Ian and me, probably connecting the dots, it took on a hint of worry I’d never seen before.
I looked back to Ian to find his eyes widening as they took me in. My hand rested possessively on my stomach like I could hide the giant belly from his accusing eyes. If he looked shocked before, it was nothing compared to his jaw-dropping gawk now.
“What the hell is that?” he asked like he saw an alien poke out from under my dress.
The silence was deafening as I struggled for words. What did one say in a moment like this? Surprise? Congratulations? Adios?
I was saved from saying anything when someone else entered behind me. “What did I miss?” Jared, the lead IT analyst at the company, asked. He froze next to me and took in the sight of everyone frozen and slack-jawed.
Alexandra spoke up for the first time, her tone hinting at restrained humor. “I think Carina was just about to explain to Ian where babies come from.”
Jared’s face screwed up. “What?”
Ian scooted to the end of the couch, his eyes narrowed, not leaving my stomach like he was struggling to do the hardest math problem of his life.
It must have clicked for Jared because in the next instant he was laughing. “Oh, shit. This is good.”
Both Ian and I glared at Jared, who sobered quickly, coughing into his hand. “Sorry. It’s just…kind of funny.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Ian growled.
When Jared went to speak again, I cut him off before this could go any further. “Anyways, we can talk later,” I said with a forced jovial voice. I adjusted my jacket and gave my most authoritative tone, not allowing an inch for argument. “Let’s get this meeting started.”
“Always in control,” Ian muttered under his breath.
I was hit with a familiar feeling—annoyance at his constant need to have the last word. There I’d been fantasizing about finding him and sharing the pregnancy with him, romanticizing the looks in the pictures I had, and in less than ten minutes I was reminded of how much he annoyed me. Sure, it made me want to snap back, which kind of got me hot, but lately, my hormones had been swinging into horny territory, so I shoved it down and ignored his comment.