I leave the shower followed by a billow of steam. Tying the towel around my chest, I walk into the enormous bedroom to find Johnny sitting on the edge, shoulders tight with his head hung low. He looks as if he’s carrying the weight of the world. I move to him and thread my fingers through his hair. “Hey...”
He peers up at me. He takes a moment to watch me like I’m his favorite work of art. He doesn’t say anything, just roams his gaze all over me. “I don’t know if I said this before, but this is my favorite time with you. In the mornings when we haven’t had to deal with the day yet.”
A smile peels my lips apart. “And what is today going to bring?” I ask. “More interrogation? Bloodshed? Clandestine meetings?”
He chuckles. It’s a deep sound that catches me off guard. Surely, I’ve had to have heard him laugh before, right? Maybe this time is different. “Do you think I have clandestine meetings?”
“Oh, all the time,” I whisper. “When I’m at school or training.”
He tangles his fingers with mine and brings my hand to his face, brushing a soft kiss against my semi-sore knuckles. I got a couple of good shots in on the guy yesterday, so it’s no surprise. A grimace crosses his face. At first, I think it’s because he’s seen how red my knuckles are, but instead, he says, “My dad’s coming back today. He wants to see this guy in person.” He slides his gaze to the nightstand. “I heard this morning that the damage to the tower was inconsequential.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Inconsequential? The building shook, Johnny.”
He smirks. “It’s rated to shake, babe. It’s meant for shit like that. We just didn’t want to go there last night because of the shooting, and in case they did some permanent damage to the building’s structure. Being there when it decided to fall would be a terrible idea.”
“So, we’re going back to the tower?” I ask, hesitation whipping through me.
Johnny shakes his head. “Not yet. Some of my dad’s men will take the guy to the tower, wait for him to return. I might have to sneak out to be there when that happens, but I’ll come back.”
A flicker of hope passes through me. “We’re not going back to the tower?”
He snakes his arms around me. The knot in my towel loosens with the contact. His gaze flicks to it and then back up to my face. “You really like it here, huh?”
“Am I that easy to read?”
“Not usually, actually.” He locks his light blue eyes on me, and a shiver crawls up my spine. “I’m happy you like it though. This is one of my favorite places.” A distant look flashes in his eyes. “I’d live here if I could, but we have to live in the Heights. We can’t just stroll in and expect people to respect us when we’re not even living in the city we control.”
“Well, it’s not like you’re truly living like everyone else anyway,” I tell him. I get his logic, but it isn’t as if he’s living in the threadbare apartments everyone else deals with. The tower is posh. It’s a mansion compared to the holes everyone else lives in.
“Yeah, but that’s what makes our life so enticing. People see what we have and then they want it. They recruit in during high school. The dream is to work their way up through the ranks. For some it doesn’t happen, but for others... Look at Bat,” Johnny says, animated now. “He was just a nobody until we took him off the street. Now he’s already made something of himself even though he hasn’t even graduated yet.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. I don’t think my mind has gone to how deep Oscar is in yet. On his own admission, he joined the Crew because everyone was kicking his ass for leaving and coming back. He’s involved in a lot of the important meetings, and he’s worried about the rest of the recruits like he’s the one who looks after them. Just what does Oscar do for the Crew? Johnny’s insinuating he’s kind of important. I press my luck and ask him. “What does Oscar do?”
“You want to talk shop?”
I point at myself. “Not a Kardashian, remember?”
Johnny chuckles again. “This and that,” he says, intentionally vague, which only piques my interest further.
I act like it doesn’t bother me though. Rubbing the back of my neck, I ask, “Are you going to tell your dad about Magnum’s cousin?”
Johnny pulls me to the side and stands. “No, I’m not going to do that. What he did was stupid. Now it’s not only his ass on the line, but mine too.”
Already, a barrier starts to descend between Johnny and me. Maybe it was all the Crew talk, but the guy who chuckled a couple of minutes ago, now has frown lines creasing his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him.
This makes him pull up short. “For what?”
“Ruining your favorite time of the day.”
His jaw ticks as he glances over his shoulder. Whatever he sees there makes him come to me again. “You aren’t ruining anything. If nothing else, you’re the bright spot in all of this.”
I give him a hesitant smile. “If my opinion matters, I think it’s a good thing that you trust Magnum and he trusts you. You need to open up to people...” I drop off the part that should’ve said, …who aren’t your father. He should trust people who don’t make him pay for it later.
“You like the other guys here, don’t you?”
I swallow. The lump in my throat is so big it practically makes my esophagus walls burn. “They’re good guys.”
I desperately want to tell him he has a whole family waiting for him. People who will accept him even if he isn’t Johnny Rocket of the Heights Crew. At the same time, I know it’s too soon. A red flush creeps up my neck. “It was Oscar and Brawler who I was talking about before. They’re living in these small ass apartments. Their family life isn’t great, and I just wondered what they—and others—see when they get a glimpse into your life.”
“They should see hope,” Johnny says. “It might take hard work to get here, but trust me, if it weren’t for the Crew, Rawley Heights would be a joke. A lawless land of the poor and decrepit. That’s what it was like before the Crew. The Crew brought jobs and a solid foundation to the Heights. The economy is booming compared to what it was.”
His words drone on like he’s reciting from a textbook. He’s probably right though. I bet the Crew has done some good things for the Heights, but that doesn’t mean everything they do is good. “There’s good and bad with everything.”
He latches his gaze to mine. The same insecure Johnny who asked if I wanted to leave is back.
I’m quick to reassure him. “I’m staying, Johnny. I just think we both realize the same thing. It’s why you won’t tell your dad about Magnum’s cousin. Sometimes, the Crew isn’t so good.”
Johnny’s gaze hardens. “I know you know this, but those words can’t ever leave your mouth around anyone. Understand?”
It would be easier if I could just rip myself bare for him. Show him my insides instead of telling him. Words can be so inconsequential when they’re not saying what you truly want to say. “I think you have more friends than you know.” I press up onto my tiptoes and kiss him. “You’re a good person, Johnny.”