I let out a breath, and he dips his gaze to my lips. Leaning forward, he kisses me until my lips swell and rational thought leaves my brain, pleasure taking over.
I try to struggle from his grip, but he holds me in place, switching the angle of his movements until my mouth opens and I release a breathy sigh.
He kisses a trail down my neck, lips curving over my collarbone in a salacious tease.
I meet his strokes with my own and watch in awe at the pained expressions that flit over his face. “Fuck, Kyla.” He groans long and deep, a guttural sound that makes my core clench at the primal nature of it.
I test his weight on my wrists, but he still won’t let up, so I continue to fuck him back, lifting my hips in the only move I can do to give right back to him.
This undoes him more than anything else. His resolve starts to teeter, and whatever shields he had in place crack. “Fuck me, baby. God.”
His hold loosens, and I pull my wrists out to grab his ass. Then, I hook my leg around his in a grappling move and force my way on top. I move over him, the vulnerability on his face clear. He grabs my hips, clinging to me as I ride him. In between the short pants that stream from my mouth, I say, “I want you as much as you want me.”
He moans, his movements tightening as I sink myself on top of him time and time again. He’s going to come easily. He was hiding from me again. For what reason, I don’t know, but not with this. Not when I’m giving it right back to him.
He reaches out and swirls his finger around my clit until I come hard, crying out on top of him.
“Yes, baby. I’m going to come.” He tries to lift me off, but I lean forward, putting my weight over him. Even if he wanted to stop me, it’s too late. His cock jerks, cum coating my insides. My pussy clenches, milking him until I climax again.
He pulls me forward, grinding against me until we both come down. Breathing hard, I tell him, “I’m on the pill. I wanted to feel you like that. Unrestrained. Uncaring.”
His cock jerks. “Mmm, yes.”
I roll to my side until we’re facing each other. He pulls out, and the evidence of what we did spills out onto my thighs. I have no doubt we’ve made a mess of the bed, but I couldn’t care less.
Johnny grabs the back of my head, forcing me to look at him. “You’re always showing me the way things should be.” He peers down at my lips, and I know he’s referencing the change in him mid-sex. He drops his forehead to mine. “I wanted to be the bad guy in case you leave. I wanted to tell myself that I made you do it. That I forced you into fucking me so it would hurt less when you decide against me.”
I pull his hand to my chest, settling it between my breasts where my heart thumps a mile a minute. “That, right here? That proves otherwise, and I don’t want you to forget it.”
Johnny bends, kissing me where I’d just put his hand and then pulls me to him, both of us settling against each other. I pull his arm around me and marvel that the world is still standing in the aftermath of Johnny Marx and I coming together.
That has to be a good omen, right?
16
Johnny threads his fingers through mine as we make our way back into the Heights. Even though I’ve only been in the log cabin for two days, it was a much-needed sanctuary. A place to forget. A place to have a moment of peace. A place where Johnny and I coming together felt like the most beautiful thing in the world...instead of something wrong. Or disallowed. Or unforgivable.
Don’t get me wrong. It was beautiful. It’s what I’ve been wanting, but at what expense? He promised me important things, and I turned around and made the same promises back to him. We both need to hold up our end of the bargains.
Neither of us speak very much on our way back, but our fingers twined together is the only reassurance I need. If Johnny can’t forgive what’s going on at the end of this, I, at least, have this memory to take with me. I’d been hoping to enjoy the aftermath for longer in our little haven, but Johnny received a call from his dad hurrying us back. Apparently, matters need to be discussed. Right now. Though, it seems as if there are always matters to be discussed that calls Johnny away from me.
The look in K’s eyes when he saw me on the balcony. I shiver, even now, remembering the hard look in his gaze. I shouldn’t provoke him because I know what he’s capable of. At the same time, what I’m doing shouldn’t be annoying him. I’m loving his son. That should never be a crime.
My stomach tumbles over itself, squeezing as I wonder what this meeting is about, considering my presence was requested. Actually, requested is too nice of a word. It was demanded, and I could tell by the stiffness in Johnny’s shoulders when his dad told him he wanted me there that Johnny didn’t like it at all.
We pass the sign welcoming us into the Heights. The scenery isn’t bad yet. We’re in the suburbs section, mostly. The houses aren’t great, but they’re not quite as dim and disheveled as the inner city of the Heights. We’re in the calm before the storm. The shroud before the maggots eating away at dead, putrid flesh.
Johnny squeezes my hand, then peeks at me from the driver’s seat. It’s nice to be together, just him and me. I can be myself without worrying over who else is around, who’s allowed to see what I truly feel. I have a feeling my happy place is about to get smashed to bits though. He licks his lips, dribbling his free hand over the steering wheel. “I need you to say as little as possible while we’re at the meeting, okay?”
I nod.
“I mean it,” Johnny urges, his icy blue eyes intense. “I don’t know what my dad is going to say, but it must involve you. No matter what it is, stay quiet. If it’s something we don’t like, I can work on him later, but disrespecting him in front of a group is never wise.”
“Neither is disrespecting him when you’re alone apparently,” I counter. Unease skitters up my spine, but so does a healthy dose of injustice. “So, you’ll work on him later, and he’ll just hit you again.” His jaw ticks, and I sigh, some of the fight leaving me. It’s not Johnny’s fault his father is a lunatic. “I’m not going to say anything to get you in trouble, and I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, Johnny. Whatever your dad has planned for me, I’ll do. Okay? You’re not getting hit again because of me.”
Johnny slips his hand from my grasp and thuds it heavily on the steering wheel. “You don’t understand the shit he could ask you to do. You’re one of us now because of me. He owns you. The stories I could tell you—” He breaks off, swallowing as if he’s willing all the terrible things he’s seen and done back into a corner of his mind that he never has to face.
I turn in my seat, reaching out to set my hand on his thigh. “And you will tell me someday, but you know me. I’m tough and resilient. Your dad won’t break me. He can’t.”
The look Johnny throws my way says he believes otherwise, but I know what I’m made of. You don’t do what I’ve done to cower at someone’s feet when the time comes.
“Listen,” I try again. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, so don’t worry about me during the meeting. I’m not saying a thing unless he asks me something directly.” Which actually works for me anyway, considering every time I’m in his presence, I want to gouge his eyes out...or my own.