“You will,” I tell him. “And it’ll be okay.”
“God, I fucking hate him,” he growls.
“I don’t want to talk about that. We’ll figure out something, and even if we do have to get in the ring together, it won’t matter. I’ll pretend your punches are kisses.”
He drops his head at me, looking as if I’m completely insane. Brawler’s fists aren’t lips. That’s for damn sure. But they can have the same effect on my body. Both want to tear me apart.
“I’ll let you pummel me over and over,” I tell him, trailing my hand down his taut torso. His body locks up when I get to his hips like he wants to pull away, but he doesn’t. I explore lower, palming his hard dick through his athletic shorts. “Every hit I take will be worth it.”
He moans as I stroke him. He’s on the border of giving in despite the conflict written all over his face.
“Or maybe I’ll just let you take me out,” he says, voice betraying all the emotions he’s trying to keep back.
But he can’t do that, can he? He’s committed to the gang. I’ve had the answer in the back of my head this whole time. No one else is saying it out loud, so neither am I. Brawler has to win. There’s no point in arguing about it. He has the most to lose at this point.
I drop to my knees in front of him, and his gaze darkens. “Don’t.”
I reach up to his shorts, slowly removing them, pulling them out and around his erection as it levels in my line of sight. The sight of his cock turns me on even more. I push his shorts to the floor and inch closer, my hands reaching up the backside of his thighs. I press my fingertips there, and he jerks forward. I take him inside, moaning at the feel of him in my mouth.
“Fuck...” Brawler grinds out. He leans against the wall, peering at me with hooded eyes.
Here, I’m his. He can say he won’t hurt me, and maybe that’s what this is. A desperate need to tell him it’s okay. To tell him it doesn’t matter what happens next. We’ll still be each other’s.
I suck hard and pull back, letting him pop out of my mouth. I wrap my fingers around his base, stroking him again, eyeing the pre-cum that’s seeped out greedily. “Do you remember that day you wrote on my mirror? I saw it you know.”
I lick the salty liquid with the tip of my tongue, and he shudders.
“Fucking beautiful,” I say reverently, letting the sparks fly over my skin just like they did when I first saw his message. He had some huge balls to go against Johnny then. To tell me he’d help me get out.
He reaches down with one hand, pulling his fingers through my hair. He fondles a few strands before I move my mouth over him again. This time, he doesn’t hold back. He places his hand on the back of my head fisting a handful of my hair, but I’m the one in control. The one making Brawler lose his resolve. This is what he needs.
“I keep thinking about you,” he confesses. “I want to be inside you every night. To feel you under me, hear your cries.”
Intense heat settles in my core, which only spurs me on. I take him in further, pressing my lips against him tighter.
“Everything about you is fucking beautiful, Kyla. Everything.”
He tightens his grip in my hair as he rocks in and out of me. He starts out slow until a strangled cry releases from him that has more liquid heat dampening my panties. “Let go,” I urge, and then I’m right back on him again, stroking him toward the back of my throat.
I sink my nails into his ass as he fucks my mouth. The masculine noises of pleasure he makes coats me with pure need. Without warning, he rips my mouth from him as he places his hands over the tip of his jerking cock. Cum spills into his hands as I sit back in satisfaction. Watching my big man lose control thrills me. He took what he needed, and I let him. He doesn’t always have to be the knight in shining armor. He can be the one who defied everything despite the consequences.
Do I think he should’ve sacrificed himself to keep me safe? Fuck no.
I understand why he did it though.
He reaches behind him to the desk and grabs a few tissues to clean up with. He holds them tightly in his hand while he pulls his pants up and then helps me stand, pushing me against the concrete wall at my back. He kisses me, this time throwing himself behind the kiss until I’m in a daze, captured by the full force of his feelings. He doesn’t seem to give a fuck that he can taste himself on me, and my pussy throbs.
“Johnny’s a damn fool if he won’t share you with us.” He breathes heavily. He waits until I lock gazes with him until he asks, “What happens if he says no?”
I blink at him. Worry lines his features as if this question has kept him up at night. “If you’re asking if I’ll give you up, the answer is fuck no. You and Oscar are a part of me. Magnum, too. He won’t like the answer if he makes me choose.” My mouth dries. Fear coats me, and I look away, trying to keep my breathing under control. Just the thought of losing any of them sends me into a spiral.
“That’s if he doesn’t kill us first.”
“He won’t kill you,” I promise, gritting my teeth.
It’s a dangerous thing to promise, but if Johnny cares for me like he says he does, he won’t kill the people I care about. If he wants someone to rage at for what’s happened, he can rage at me. He can take his anger out on me. I’m the one who deserves it. I’ll gladly take all the punishment before he even faces the others.
“He doesn’t deserve you. Hell, none of us do, but he claimed you like you were property. He hacked his way into your life, and you know damn well what he did to you in the beginning.” I open my mouth to say something when he cuts me off. “He hurt you, Kyla. Don’t you remember that? The bruises I saw. The bandages I had to apply.” His body shudders in thought as I wince. “I get when you say he doesn’t know any better, but if he decides he wants in on this... You, me, Oscar, Magnum. We’re having words with him. He doesn’t treat you like that. If he does it again, I don’t care who he is, he answers to us.”
The reminder of past Johnny sits like a dead weight in my stomach. It doesn’t change the way I feel about him. I can acknowledge the person he was, but still see the man he is right now. “He doesn’t treat me like that anymore.”
“He beat the shit out of Oscar for touching your wrist. He’s a loose cannon. Don’t you think it’s a little suspicious he offered me up, Kyla? When we were at the meeting, K asked who the best fighter was. He could’ve said anyone. Instead, he said me.”
“Well, you are,” I say, brows pulling together.
“He also knows we’re friends,” he says, disgust at the word lacing his tone. “He should also know that the last thing we would want to do is fight each other.”
I shake my head. I get Brawler’s suspicion. Johnny doesn’t have a great track record when it comes to me. No, I haven’t forgotten the bruising and the physical pain he inflicted, but I’ll maintain that was from a scared boy. Now, he’s a man, coming into his own. He’s not his father’s puppet any longer. He’s not in his father’s shadow, doing as he does. He’ll make his own decisions here on out, and hopefully, that decision will be joining the family I’m trying to build for us. One that will love him for who he is, background scars and all. “I love that you’re concerned,” I tell him. “But I think what happened there was just Johnny falling into a routine. His father asked a question, and he answered truthfully. He didn’t think about the consequences.”