1 Olivia
Remember that time I fucked an older man in a sex club?
I think that was when I peaked in life. Can you peak at nineteen?
I rubbed my thumb across the creased paper pinned to my Kate Spade planner. I’d folded and refolded it so many times, taking it everywhere with me as a memento. My fingers stroked across the sharp lines of his initial like maybe I could get back the feeling of touching him just by feeling the dent of his forceful strokes. Anything to cling to the night, I felt alive.
Thank you for last night.
- K
“Please be sure to have your business selections to me next week,” Dr. Arden said from the front of the room. I slapped my planner closed and shoved it in my leather tote, standing with the rest of the students who were hustling to leave class. “I know a few of you have been procrastinating on making a decision. If you don’t come with a selection, one will be made for you from the list of local businesses.”
I was one of those people, and as I walked past her desk, I knew—just knew—that if I looked up, she would be pointedly staring at me with disapproval. So, I kept my head down and got out of there. I needed to find something fast because that list of her options was lame, and I didn’t want to spend the rest of the semester with a clock and jewelry owner. Not that I knew who I did want to intern for. Hence, why I’d been avoiding the assignment. We needed to find an unpaid internship for the semester and create a mock business based on what we’d learned.
I didn’t intentionally put it off; I was just waiting for something to excite me—to make me excited like I’d been when I first chose my business major. I took a deep breath of the cold air and tried to remember that feeling. A feeling that faded with each passing semester. I dropped my head back and exhaled hard into the blue sky, trying to figure out what was missing. Why I’d been plagued with this boredom. Boredom that wasn’t just in college. Boredom with life.
“Are you trying to see if the sky is falling?” my best friend, Oaklyn, said, walking up beside me.
“Nah, just hoping for a sign for my business project.”
“You still haven’t picked one?”
I stuck with the trend of the day and avoided her eyes too. At least, I tried. I peeked at her in my peripheral. She was currently swiping long wisps of her hair out of her face where the wind had blown it. It took the effect of her glare down a notch, but the sun making her light brown eyes shine gold like a little fire of accusation, boosted it back up.
I rolled my eyes at her glare and started walking.
“What about Voyeur? I’m sure Daniel would let you shadow him.” She barely got the words out around her twitching lips.
“Oh, yeah. That would be great. I can see the PowerPoint presentation now.” I deepened my voice and said, “And on slide seven, you’ll see that gang bang is the most requested performance among women.”
Oaklyn laughed. “Actually, it’s usually just a threesome.”
I stopped walking and stared at her. “And you just look so innocent.”
We laughed and started walking again.
“You know you could always go to your dad’s business,” she suggested falling in step beside me.
Another eye-roll. “Ugh. Gas and gas parts? No, thank you.”
“You’re such a diva.”
I opened the door to the dining hall and blew her a kiss when she walked past. “You love me.”
“Unfortunately,” she grumbled with a smile.
“Whatever, you’re lucky to have me. In fact, lunch is on me.”
“Olivia…” she groaned.
She hated when I paid, but I did it anyway. I had enough money to pay for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her entire college term, but her pride prevented it. Her pride also prevented her sexy-as-sin professor-boyfriend from paying either. At least he got her to move out of her shit box apartment and in with him.
“How’s Callum?” I asked, changing the topic.
She put her wallet back in her bag with a sigh but took the bait. “Good. We’re good.”
“And the sex? How’s that?”
“Olivia,” she whisper-shouted.
“What? He’s ridiculously hot, and I may still have fantasies from when we had him for class.”
She glared and walked off to get in line, ignoring my laughter.
We had barely sat down when a deep voice spoke right behind me. “Hey, Livvie-baby.” I clenched my jaw at the nickname and looked across the table to find Oaklyn, not even bothering to hide the look of disgust from her face.
“Hey, Aaron.” I turned and smiled at him over my shoulder.
He sat his plate down and straddled the bench beside me. “You want to hang out tonight?”
‘Hang out’ was the equivalent of Netflix and chill. He wanted to know if I wanted to get together to fuck, and after thinking about my morning, sex sounded good.
“Sure.” I pretended to ignore Oaklyn’s scoff.
“Awesome. Let’s do seven-thirty. The guys will be gone tonight, so no one will hear you.”
He leaned in and placed a quick peck to my cheek, and I fought to not pull away. I didn’t like PDA from Aaron. He wasn’t my boyfriend—at least not anymore. He served his purpose, and it wasn’t to paw me in public. Once upon a time, he’d been my main priority. I’d made sure I looked good for him. I’d made sure I was available for him. I’d made sure I bought the best lingerie for him.
Then he shattered the affection I’d poured into him, sucking my happiness right along with it. I’d been…depressed, and Olivia Witt did not do depression over boys. So, I’d picked myself back up, promised to never fall again, and used him for all he was worth. Of course, for my pleasure alone. I had control. I had a say of how it went and how it ended.
My phone buzzed on the table, and I swiped to find a message from my mom.
Mom: You should come by dinner tonight. Uncle Daniel is bringing a business associate, Alexander. He’s an older gentleman who’s been working in hotels for a while. He may be a great person to talk about your project to.
My mind conjured an image of an old man, clinging to his business to hold off retirement. His hotels were probably the Holiday Inn, and that sounded about as appealing as the clock and jewelry owner.
I quickly texted her back, letting her know I had plans tonight. I could imagine her pinched lips and disappointment. I just didn’t want to deal with my parents asking me about my plans—my future. I was a junior and had plenty of time to figure it out. Not that they cared beyond what they could brag about to their friends. I would miss Uncle Daniel though. I’d just have to make a point to schedule a lunch this week to make up for it.
“Shit,” Aaron said, looking around his plate. “Forgot my silverware. Be right back, babe.”
As soon as he left, Oaklyn leaned across the table and asked, “Why?”
“Why what?” I stuffed a bite of meatball in my mouth and played dumb.
“Why do you still hang out with him. He cheated on you. He doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, let alone have sex with you.”
I stared down at my fork twirling noodles on the plate. Aaron had cheated on me. I’d had the pleasure of catching him with his head buried between some girl’s thighs in the library. But that was almost two years ago, and I was an island now—unable to be hurt. Having Aaron as my fuck-toy removed any chance of some loser weaseling his way in.