“Jens you look good! Lovely to see you! How are the kiddies? And where is this new woman of…”
Carla’s face just drops as Axel is leaning back against the kitchen counter, and Sondre is bouncing on his heels looking incredibly pleased with himself.
“Carla, this is Axel Kleve, Jens’ partner. Axel, this is my beautiful and very blooming wife Carla.”
”Oh. My. God!” Carla pants. “I’ve never met anyone famous in my life. Bloody hell! Are you really Axel Kleve? Oh fuck, of course you are, fuck me. Jens, I fucking hate you. Why didn’t you tell me? Of course you’re bloody J. Of course. I am so fucking stupid! Sorry for swearing, I never swear. Oh God, I think I have to sit down...”
Axel grabs her arm and gives her a kiss on her cheek. “Lovely to meet you Carla. How far along are you?” Jens just grins with pride as Axel goes straight in to his professional work mode. It’s not like he can do anything else. I mean, how do you reply to something like that? Instead he asks questions. Lets Carla blush through the attention. Asks to feel her bump. Marvels at the kicks. Smiles and lets their glasses of water clink together in a toast to the baby. To dinner parties. To roast salmon and Hasselback potatoes. Homemade strawberry crumble and After Eights.
Because Carla has a thing for After Eight chocolates. And Ginger ale. And Tonic water with sliced tomatoes on the side. And Axel tries to charm her and lets her ask all the embarrassing questions in the world. Promises to look out for her on the labour ward. Gossips about her midwife and happily looks over her birth plan.
Jens just smiles and winks when he meets Axel’s eye in a flurry of laughter. He looks comfortable and happy, like this isn’t the hardship they both imagined. Axel can do work mode. He can even do friendship and small talk. Discuss the change of leadership at the hospital board with Sondre, and he’s confident as he obviously knows what he is talking about. And Jens keeps grabbing his hand feeling so incredibly happy, that he can only smile and mouth all the little words he needs to tell Axel. That he loves him. That he is so happy. Proud. He is so incredibly proud of him.
“I’m so looking forwards to Stavanger now Axel! I usually hate those events, but you will be there now and we can hang out and have fun while Sondre and Jens do their thing. There’s a good café opposite the convention hall, and the shopping is good, and we could go on a tour and see Pulpit Rock, I have always wanted to go, but maybe not up to Pulpit Rock then, because I will be ready to give birth any second, but you will be with me so it will be fine!” Carla is clapping her hands and looking so excited that Axel can’t help giggling as he turns to Jens.
“Will I?”
Jens looks crushed.
“I told you ages ago! God, I am useless. I did? Didn’t I? Please, please, Axel, will you be my date in Stavanger for the National Literature Awards?”
“What the fuck, Jens? It’s the event of the year and you haven’t even asked Axel to make sure he is free?” Sondre is whacking Jens on the shoulder and turning to Axel with an apologetic look on his face.
“If it’s any consolation to you Axel, your absolutely useless fucker of a partner has actually told me that you are coming and your name is on the guest list, so it’s not like he wasn’t going to ask. But you know Jens. If he didn’t have people to help him sort his shit out, he would be fucked. Every fucking day.” Sondre looks at Jens like he wants to kill him. Honestly.
And Jens wants to die.
“I was going to ask. I just forgot. But please come. Please say you’ll be there with me. And Carla will need you, obviously, since you are now her own private celebrity midwife.”
“You did mention something about Stavanger, at some point, I think. I just didn’t pay attention. Sorry. I’ll get Malena to put it in the calendar on my phone. She promised to teach me how to do that stuff, so I know where I’m supposed to be. I’ll put your due date in as well Carla.”
Carla squeals and wraps him in a hug, while Sondre gets his phone out and snaps a photo, mouthing, “for Facebook,” to Axel, and Jens begs. Axel can tell. Just the way Jens looks at him, with a face full of love, yet his eyes are saying, “I’m so sorry, I am so useless. Please just love me as I am because I am trying. Trying so hard and I love you so much.”
Axel knows. Of course, he knows.
They leave in a frenzy of laughter and handshakes. Kisses on cheeks and promises to do this again.
Notifications on Axel’s phone are lighting up the car as they drive towards the hospital, high on laugher and adrenaline from having had a night out. A night as adults. Free and happy. Drinking water and having nice food eaten at a table with matching crockery without the constant interruption of children and screaming and arguing and demands.
Axel is now friends with Carla and Sondre on Facebook. He has been tagged in photos. Added to groups. Axel doesn’t even dare to look. He just switches off the ringer and lets his hand roam lazily over Jens’ back.
“Thanks for coming with me,” Jens says softly, his eyes firmly on the road. “I used to dread going to things like this, but tonight was okay. The last time I went to a dinner party was with Sofie, and she was feeling really unwell, and I was worried and it was just such a crap time. Horrible. Full of snide remarks and arguments, and she was so tired and I just couldn’t cope, Axel. I just didn’t understand what she was going through. I should have known, I mean, I lived with her, I knew her so well. And I just shouted and made her come out with me and it was just shit. I have so many regrets. I should have done things differently.”
“Don’t Jens. Just don’t. Not when we have had a nice evening, and everything is fine. You did as well as you could. You can’t change the past, just the future. Let’s make the future better, baby. You and me and the kids. We can do whatever we want, as long as I have you and you have me, we will be happy. We will be fine.” Axel strokes his back. Leaning over so he can kiss the skin on Jens’ cheek. His nose burying in Jens’ neck and his lips on his collar.
“I am so fucking lucky, Axel.” Jens whispers. “So fucking, fucking lucky.”
“I know. You have me.” Axel laughs.
Oslo University Hospital Carpark, Ullevål, Oslo
PAPPA: Everything OK? Just dropping Axel at the hospital and then I will be home.
MALENA: All fine. Arsehole keeps texting me.
PAPPA: Is that good or bad. Do I need to go and kick arse on the way home?
MALENA: No. It’s chill.
PAPPA: Good. Ask him out tomorrow night? Axel and I are home. As long as you are back by midnight, Cinderella.
MALENA: Isn’t he supposed to ask me out?
PAPPA: Why? Because he is a boy? If he wants to be with you then he isn’t looking for some girly girl with no guts. Ask him out. He might just think it’s the coolest thing ever.
MALENA: True.
MALENA: I will totally blame you if it all goes to shit.
PAPPA: If it goes to shit it wasn’t meant to be. Make it epic.
MALENA: Tobias asked if he could send me flowers. I told him to fuck off.
PAPPA: Go Lena!
MALENA: I am going to bed. See you tomorrow.
PAPPA: Love you. Xx