The cabin’s lights were on and a stream of smoke trailed from the chimney. I didn’t bother knocking at the door and let myself inside. “Gem?”
A drawer slammed in the bedroom before she emerged in the hallway. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her face was flushed. “So you just let yourself in?”
“So you just left without a word?”
“I didn’t realize we were speaking when other people were around.” She fisted her hands on her hips. “My bad.”
“I didn’t come here to fight.” I paused in the middle of unzipping my coat. “Do you want me to go?”
For a second, I thought she’d say yes. But then the angry look on her face softened and she pinched the bridge of her nose. “No.”
“Are you feeling all right? Mom said you were sick.”
“I’m fine,” she muttered and walked my way as I hung up my coat. “Want something to drink?”
“No, I’m good.”
She passed me on her way to the kitchen, not looking at me directly, so I slipped off my boots and followed, standing behind her as she took out a glass and filled it with some water from the tap.
“Hey.” I stepped into the space behind her, lifting the glass from her hand and setting it beside the sink. “There’s nothing with Liz.”
“I know. You’re friends.”
“Yes. We’re friends. I’ve known her a long time. But that’s where it ends. And after you left, I made sure she understood that.”
“It’s fine.” She waved it off and tried to move away, but I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her back against my chest.
“What’s wrong?”
Gemma hung her head. “Nothing.”
“Try again.”
“I don’t fit here, Easton,” she whispered, and my heart cracked.
Maybe I’d seen this coming. Maybe I should have expected it sooner. But these past two weeks as Gemma had pulled away, I should have seen it as the beginning of a goodbye.
I let her go and took a step away.
She turned to face me. “I’m not what you need.”
I scoffed. “Spare me that, okay? You walk away from here, that’s your choice. But don’t play the martyr.”
“I’m not playing at anything. It’s the truth.”
“You made the decision for me. Why? Because Liz was at dinner?”
“It’s not about her.”
“Bullshit.”
She shot me a glare, then stormed out of the kitchen for the bedroom.
My temper spiked as she disappeared down the hallway and I marched after her.
“Why—” My question fell away as I reached the doorway. There was an open suitcase on the bed with most of Gemma’s clothes inside. “You’re leaving.”
“I’m leaving.” She yanked the nightstand drawer open and took out the few things she’d stashed inside. A lip balm and a box of condoms got thrown on the suitcase pile.
It was impossible to take a full breath. My chest felt tight like someone had wrapped it in steel.
I was supposed to have until Christmas. I was supposed to have time to prepare for this.
I wasn’t ready.
“Would you have even said goodbye?” I asked.
She stood from the drawer, throwing a hand lotion onto the bed, and her shoulders drooped. “No.”
It was eleven years ago all over again.
Well, fuck that. I wasn’t letting her slip out again. This time, she could watch me walk away when I was goddamn ready to leave.
I blew into the room, my rage a force, and took her face in my hands. I held it tight, then slammed my mouth on hers in a hard, brutal kiss.
Gemma melted against me, surrendered, as I poured my frustration into her lips. She leaned into it, taking everything I had. She let me punish her with this kiss.
Except I didn’t want to punish her. I wanted to love her and keep her and . . . fuck. It would break her.
I tore my mouth away and dragged in a jagged breath as I dropped my forehead to hers. Her scent was everywhere, and I realized how foolish I’d been not to take her to my bed. Because I had nothing of hers to keep. When she left this cabin, she’d be gone.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked. “I don’t—”
“It’s okay.” I cupped her cheek and leaned away to meet her eyes. They were full of unshed tears. When one dripped down the smooth curve of her cheek, I wiped it away with my thumb. “It’s okay.”
She stood on her toes, brushing her lips against mine. This time, it was my turn to melt. I wrapped her up tight, holding her close as she opened her mouth to let my tongue sweep inside.
I’d memorize her taste. I’d memorize the way she felt in my arms. I’d do all of that because I hadn’t all those years ago.
This time around, I wouldn’t lose her memory so quickly.
Our hands fumbled to strip clothing as we shuffled to the bed. Her sweater came first so I could mold my hands over the black satin of her bra. Her nipples pebbled beneath the fabric, digging into the flesh of my palm. My button-up came next, followed by the white T-shirt underneath.
When the backs of her knees hit the edge of the mattress, I eased her down and flicked the button open on her jeans so I could drag them off her legs. With them gone, the only thing left on the bed was Gemma in her bra and panties. And that fucking suitcase.
I shoved it to the floor.
Gemma scowled as her clothes spilled everywhere.
I shrugged and unbuckled my belt. If this was the last time, I wasn’t going to be hindered by that fucking luggage.
Gemma sat up and ran her hands across my stomach, her pink nails digging into the dips between each muscle. Then she ripped the button free and tugged down the zipper. The moment I sprang free, her tongue was on me, licking the tip of my cock before taking me completely into her mouth.
“Gem.” I cupped the back of her head. “Fuck.”
She moaned and the vibration of her throat nearly tipped me over the edge.
I pulled her off me with her ponytail, then I shoved off my jeans, and tore at her panties while she unclasped her bra. When I covered her naked body with my own, she wound her legs around my hips. Our eyes locked. Our breaths mingled. And when I slid inside her bare, I wrapped her in my arms so she’d feel the beat of my heart.
It was hers.
And when she left here tomorrow, she’d take it on the road.
Gemma trembled beneath me, her legs cinching tighter to pull me deeper.
“I need to get a condom,” I whispered in her ear.
She shook her head, her arms holding me close. “Not yet.”
I loved this woman. Damn, did I love her. But if I didn’t put a condom on now, there’d be no chance I’d stop again. And as much as I wanted to see her growing with our child, that would only make things worse.
So I pulled free as a groan of protest escaped her lips and riffled around the floor until I found the box of condoms. When I rejoined her on the bed, she spread her legs wide and welcomed me home.
“You feel so good.” I kissed her open mouth. “So fucking good.”
She hummed her agreement against my lips as I rocked us together, taking her higher, stroke after stroke. When her legs began to tremble and her breath hitched, I reached between us and found her clit.