Big. Mistake.
The first thing I saw was Celeste’s black heels with the bright red soles facing me. She was kneeling, her legs crossed at the ankles. Her hair fell in waves down her back. The next thing I saw was Chase’s face thrown back in ecstasy, his teeth sunk in the plush pillow of his bottom lip as he thrust down her throat.
It was one thing to know your crush was fucking desirable girls, and it was another thing entirely to witness it. “Shit,” I croaked, making Chase’s eyes snap to mine. His eyes widened in shock, but he didn’t stop. He kept his hand on the back of Celeste’s head and kept fucking her mouth as I stood transfixed.
It was wrong. So damn wrong. But I stood there like an idiot, watching with my mouth hanging open as my best friend’s brother eyed me. Molten heat pooled between my legs, and I squirmed on the spot. His grunts filled the room, and with Celeste’s back to me, she didn’t realize that I was getting a front-row seat to the dirty show Chase was putting on. “That’s right, baby. Choke on that cock.” Celeste mumbled in what I assumed was enthusiasm as I touched my neck. I could feel myself growing flushed with embarrassment and heat.
I should have left. I shouldn’t have stood there, listening to Chase’s dirty words as he came down her throat. I should have left when she wiped her lips and thanked him.
But I stood paralyzed. Watching. Enraptured. Tainted with this push and pull simmering with wrongness between us. “What the fuck?” Celeste’s voice rang out, knocking me to my senses. I felt my cheeks heat with shame as I stuttered through my explanation.
“Violet sent me up here. Th-there’s a fight downstairs. She needs help.” My excuse sounded lame now. Why didn’t I speak up sooner? Why did I just stand there and watch?
Chase pulled his pants up, rushing through his movements with charming protectiveness, lust wholly gone from his system. “Were you watching us?” Celeste asked in a shrill voice. I didn’t have to answer her. She knew. She could see the embarrassed heat in my gaze. She could see the way my legs trembled. “You fucking perverted, petty bitch!” she screamed.
“Shut up, Celeste,” Chase sneered before diving past her and grabbing my wrist, dragging me through his bedroom door and down the stairs. The commotion in the living room was in full swing. But before Chase ran off to intervene, he pushed me against the wall and groaned in my ear. “We will talk about that, Breeze.” His thumb pressed against my bottom lip, making me tremble with lust and disgust.
“There’s nothing to discuss,” I retorted, earning me a wide, boyish grin.
I heard another crash. Screams. Shouts. The world had slowed while watching Chase, but everything seemed to speed up at once. Chase dived into the jumble of fists, and I hurried down the wall, headed toward the front door. They knocked a bowl of chips over. Phones were ringing, and people ran across the floor. I covered my eyes as someone sprayed beer across the wall with a manic laugh. Violet emerged from the crowd and rushed over to me. Her mascara was smeared like she’d been crying. Her hair was a mess, and her shirt was soaking wet. Was that vomit at the corner of her lip? “Someone called the cops!” she yelled. “Go outside. Find Kai. He’ll take you home. I have to stay here.”
“Come with me!” I pleaded. There was no way in hell I was leaving her here.
“Chase is here. Can’t let the asshole get in trouble without me,” she grinned mischievously.
“I’ll help you find him,” I offered.
“I don’t have time. Please.” She pushed at my shoulders. “Go. I’ll call you.”
I nodded my head and squeezed her hand. “Be safe,” I yelled over the crowd. This was insane. She disappeared while screaming Chase’s name, and I made my way to the door, squeezing by drunks that had the same idea as me: Get the fuck out of there.
Outside, I could hear police sirens in the distance, and I was scrambling through the grass to find Kai. I was so mad that I didn’t drive myself. “Kai!” I screamed. “Kai!”
I wouldn’t put it past Violet’s boyfriend to bail without a single thought about anybody else; he seemed like the type to only worry about himself. I rounded the house, sandy grass pressing beneath my flip-flops as I yelled his name. More drunks got into their cars. Crunching metal and laughter met my ears, and once against the wood siding of Violet’s house, I turned to see that two cars had collided. “Kai!” I yelled again while hugging my middle. I hated this. I just wanted to go home.
I looked around, but it was so dark I could barely see anything. The clouds overhead veiled the moon, and blue and red lights flashed in the distance. Shadows of drunk teens slumped by, giggling and gossiping while piling into cars. Finding Kai in this chaos felt impossible. I wasn’t even entirely sure I wanted to. He had been drinking, and I guessed he wouldn’t be open to taking secondhand orders from his girlfriend’s bestie.
I didn’t want to come to this party in the first place, but I never imagined it would end with voyeurism and sirens. I swallowed a furious ball of anxiety over leaving Violet and reluctantly started heading toward my house. She wanted to stay with Chase, and it was pointless for both of us to go down for underage drinking. My parents would kill me. Hers would probably just shrug their shoulders and pay the cops off. It wouldn’t be the first time.
My house was fifteen minutes away by car, but it would take me much longer to walk those same roads. There was a beautiful nature preserve with a path that Vi and I would ride our bikes through when we were kids to get to each other’s houses. It would cut my walk home in half. The trees would also hide me from view in case any cops were looking for stragglers.
As I was about to enter the preserve, a big pickup truck pulled up beside me, and the window rolled down. I smelled him before I saw him, the powerful scent of Marlboro Reds assaulting my olfactory senses. Most of the people I knew used vape pens with fruity flavors, but Kai Lewis was old school.
“Violet would kill me if I let you walk home by yourself,” he said from behind the steering wheel. His distinct voice was low and full of gravel, most likely a side effect of the cigarettes. “And it’s not safe. Lots of drunk idiots wandering these woods.”
“Is that your way of offering me a ride?” I asked, shifting my body to face him.
He gave me a tight nod. I weighed my options and then hopped in the passenger seat. We were in a safe area, but it probably wasn’t my smartest idea to go traipsing through the backwoods by myself in the middle of the night.
The moment I got inside Kai’s car, he didn’t wait for me to settle or buckle in. His lead foot pressed on the accelerator, pushing me into the cloth seats. “That was a fucking mess. I hate bullshit parties,” Kai complained while hugging the curve of the winding road. “Did Violet get out?”
“I’m not sure,” I replied. “She went to find Chase.”
“Of course she did. This was stupid. I hate it when Violet is destructive and throws keggers. I’m surprised you even go to them.”
I shrugged, the adrenaline from before still coursing through my veins. He wasn’t wrong; this wasn’t my scene, and what just happened further reinforced my choice to avoid them. “It’s her birthday, can’t fault her for wanting to celebrate. You know as well as I do, that whatever Violet wants, she gets.”