“It’s okay. You can take as much time as you need. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Her eyes roam over the clothes she gave me. “All the stuff looks like it fits you.” Excitement zings through her. It’s a contagious kind of excitement.
“It does.” I smile, shoving a strand of brown hair behind my ear. “Thank you so much for bringing something over for me to wear and volunteering to take me to get some clothing.”
“Oh, it’s nothing, really. If anything, you’re helping me out. All I do is sit at home and watch TV. It’s a nice change of pace.”
It’s good to hear I’m not being a burden to her, but being forced to buy myself things with Roman’s money doesn’t sit well with me. He’s already done so much for me, taking me into his home, keeping me fed, and now he insists on doing even more. The last thing I want is for him to hold it over my head later.
“You ready to go?” Violet asks with a most genuine smile.
“Yes,” I lie. I don’t want to go anywhere…at least, not without Roman, but I don’t want to displease him.
Two large men appear at the front door. They’re dressed like normal men, but with a dangerous edge. A shiver of fear climbs up my spine. My feet root to the floor, and when Violet’s eyes collide with mine, I know she can see the fear.
“It’s okay, these are my boyfriend’s men. They mean us no harm and are here to protect us.” Violet’s voice carries a soothing tone to it, and my tense body loosens a bit at her confession.
Eyeing the men curiously, I decide to believe Violet, because honestly, I doubt she would put me in harm’s way. Forcing myself to relax I start for the car. We climb into an expensive looking SUV, and the men get into the front once Violet and I are buckled up in the back. The drive to the mall is short, and I enjoy taking in the sights. It wasn’t often my parents let us go anywhere with them, and even though I’ve heard of a mall, I’ve never actually been to one before.
When we pull into the huge parking lot, it’s packed. The man driving the car mumbles under his breath in a language I don’t understand.
They trail behind us closely, but not so close it’s noticeable. When Violet sees me looking back at the two guys, she assures me again that they are here to protect us and that we are safe, but I don’t feel safe. There is only one person who could make me feel safe right now.
I take in the huge building with various signs in bright neon lettering.
Ulta. Ann Taylor. Coach. Adidas.
I furrow my brow at the names. We enter through the doors, and I’m assaulted by several sights, sounds, and smells. I force air into my lungs and try to stop the nervous knot from forming in my belly. I have no reason to be scared. I’m free. Free of their ties, of their callous ways.
“You okay?” Violet asks, and I nod, lifting my chin.
“Yeah, I’m good. I’ve just never been to a mall before…it’s a little overwhelming.”
Violet looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “You can’t be serious. You’ve never been to a mall?”
I confirm with a nod, and she blinks away the shocked expression from her face. Instead of her insulting me or making fun of me, she interlocks our arms and starts jogging toward the stores. For such a tiny person, she moves ridiculously fast.
With Violet by my side, we make our way from store to store. I pick up all the essentials, jeans, t-shirts, panties, and bras. I try to buy things that are cheap or on sale, but it’s so hard since everything seems to be overpriced. Guilt swarms me every time I swipe the card. I keep all the receipts so I know what I’ll owe him.
Maybe I can start looking for a job soon. I consider the fact that I have no car and don’t know how to drive, but still, the idea of letting Roman pay my way for everything is unsettling. One way or another, I have to get a job or find a way to make some money.
“You are very quiet,” Violet observes, interrupting my thoughts. “Have you always been like this or are you still…you know…are you okay, Sophie?” Concern is etched in her features.
“I’ve always been kind of quiet,” I admit, and it’s true. I’ve never been chatty. Talking gathers attention, and attention isn’t something you want in the home I grew up in.
“You know, if you want to talk about what happened to you…you can always talk to me. I don’t know if Roman or Ivan told you, but what happened to you happened to me too. I know what it’s like to be locked in that cell, to feel so alone you want to die.”
I almost smile at her statement. She thinks she has been through what I’ve been through, but she has no idea. She doesn't know the cell was nothing compared to the pain of being abandoned by your family, the people who are supposed to protect and love you. She has no idea how my whole life fell apart the day they exchanged my body for a piece of paper, a fucking check. I try and reason with myself, since I don’t know Violet’s story, but I can’t help but feel anything but sorry for myself in this moment.
I’m left with a scar that I’ll carry around on my heart for the rest of my life.
“I’m fine, really. In fact, I feel safe with Roman.” Surprise flashes in her eyes.
“I can’t really describe it, but I feel safe when he’s with me, like nothing can hurt me. It’s such a strange thing when I know nothing about him, isn’t it?”
“No, not really. You were abandoned, of course you’re going to gravitate toward someone you feel can protect you.” Her response surprises me. In my mind, any sane person would tell me I’m crazy for wanting to be close to a man like Roman—a man who oozes violence, arrogance, and a coldness that could freeze me right in place.
“Thanks…” I grin, my eyes moving to the floor beneath my feet, “for not thinking I’m crazy.”
“You aren’t crazy, girl. It’s only crazy to people who don’t live the life we do.” She pauses, and I lift my eyes to her face. “It’s fine to feel safe with Roman, just be careful. The man has a little bit of a temper.” I nod, thinking back to how mad he got when I accused him of buying me so he could hurt me.
Violet catches sight of some store and her eyes light up. “Oooh, let's go in here! They have super cute clothes.”
With a smile on my face, I follow her, grateful for the subject change.
She immediately starts to go through some clothing racks next to the wall, and I try to make it look like I’m doing the same, even though I’m not interested in buying anything else. I absentmindedly push the hangers around while looking around the store.
My eyes flicker over the denim and numerous t-shirts before moving toward the front of the store. As soon as I see him through the glass doors, I can’t un-see him.
My father.
Air swooshes in my lungs as panic overtakes me. My father is here.
He came for me.
He’s going to take me back home.
He is going to punish me again.
Make me pay with the belt, then pawn me off to that rich man he wanted me to marry.
No! My blood pounds in my ears as panic grips onto me like an iron shackle being placed around my body. I can’t let him take me back or find me. I can’t let them win. I’ve finally gained my freedom. I won’t let him take that away from me.