All the noise, the need to break and hurt others—it all fades into the darkness when I touch her, like nothing bad can taint me.
“If you were smart, you’d turn around and go back upstairs,” I croak, licking my lips, my cock hardening painfully. She nuzzles her cheek into my hand as if she can’t get enough of it, and my knees fucking buckle.
Fucking pussy, I tell myself as her eyes drift closed. A calmness washes over her features, softening them in an instant.
“I don’t want to be away from you. I feel safe with you, Roman—safer than I’ve ever been.”
I exhale a ragged breath, watching as her eyes open once more. This time, need flickers in her blue depths. Doesn’t she know how fucking crazy that statement sounds? She should be fucking running, not walking right up those stairs and into her bedroom.
“You shouldn’t…you really fucking shouldn’t.” My voice cracks, a plea damn near spilling from my lips. I don’t plead. I don’t beg. But I want to do both just to make sure I don’t hurt Sophie the way I’ve hurt everyone else in my life. The easiest thing for me to do is push away anyone and everything. Nothing can hurt you if you don’t give them the chance. I want to drop my hand from her cheek, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Her touch sets my body on fire, igniting a need deep inside me, one I never knew existed until the moment I met her.
“Kiss me,” she whispers so softly, I almost don’t hear her. Her dark brown hair falls into her face. I brush the silky strands back, needing to see her entire face when I kiss her.
“Fuck,” I hiss out, leaning into her face. She pushes up onto her tiptoes, and I smile, my lips just barely grazing hers. I want everything with her to be different. I don’t kiss. I don’t do anything but fuck. I do it hard and fast, but I want none of those things with Sophie.
I want her kisses. I want her slow—so slow, it hurts. I want her deep—so deep, she won’t ever be able to fuck another man without remembering who had her first.
“Roman,” she whimpers, and without even thinking, I grab her. Picking her up by the backs of her thighs, I force her legs around my middle. The movement makes her nightgown ride up. I press her against the closest wall and damn near come unglued feeling her heated center against my bare abs. Fuck, she’s so close, I can almost taste her on my lips, feel her slick heat around my cock.
The smell of her arousal tingles inside my nostrils. She wants me—she fucking wants me—and that pushes me over the edge. I cage her tiny body against the wall and watch as her chest rises and falls with each breath that passes her lips. My resolve has snapped, and I struggle to hold onto the need coursing through my veins. I grip onto her bare hip with bruising force while shoving her nightgown over her hips, exposing her white cotton panties.
There’s a damp spot in the center of them. I smirk.
Pure. So fucking pure, and perfect, and all mine. All fucking mine.
The beast inside me growls in approval.
With her body pressed against the wall, leaving her nowhere to escape, I take one of my hands and slip it between our bodies. She’s struggling against my hold, her tiny whimpers filling my ears, but I’m already too far gone to care. All I want is her. I’m irritated, horny, and so fucking close to the edge, I’m practically walking the line of insanity.
“Roman…” she says right as I rip her panties from her body. I toss the flimsy material to the floor. All I want is a taste, one touch, and I’ll let her go. I’ll send her back upstairs.
My fingers rub over her dripping center. As I touch her warm clit, tiny hands press against my shoulders, pushing me back. I want to laugh at her feeble attempt to push me away.
As if she’d be able to stop me.
Her nails dig into my bare flesh a second later, and an irritated snarl rips from my throat.
“You want this?” I lift my gaze, a sinister smile on my lips. When my eyes meet Sophie’s for the first time since I started touching her, it’s like a cold bucket of water has been doused on me. I realize then just how big of a fucking monster I am.
Fear has replaced the flickering need in her big blue eyes and tears now well in their depths. My gaze sweeps down her length at the heaving of her chest, at the shaking of her body. None of these things are proof she wants me. If anything, they’re proof she doesn’t, and that’s enough for me to pull back as if her touch is going to burn me alive.
The second her feet hit the floor, I backtrack. Her nightgown falls back into place, and I turn on my heels, punching the punching bag with brute force. I shouldn’t have fucking touched her, not when I’m like this...not when one single need can grip onto me and control me. I’m not myself right now. Keeping her at a distance is the best thing for both of us.
“Get the fuck away from me. Go into your bedroom until I come and get you,” I order, trying to calm my erratic breathing. I can still smell her all around me. Fuck, I almost raped her...I could’ve hurt her...I could’ve destroyed her.
The thought makes me sick. My gut twists into tight knots.
“Roman…” My nostrils flare, and I whirl around. Does she want me to fuck her against the wall right now?
“I’m sorry, I want you. I just—”
Walking right back up to her, my muscles tight, I cut her off. “If you don’t want me to fuck you until you bleed, until you’re nothing but a fucking puddle of body and cum on the floor, then you need to turn around, go upstairs, and lock your bedroom door. I’m not myself right now, and I can’t control what the fuck is going on in here.” I point to my head before clenching my fist and dropping it back down to my side.
She gulps, and I take a warning step toward her, forcing myself to give her a chance to escape me before I pounce. Before I can say another word, she whirls around and runs back up the stairs, damn near tripping over her own two feet. I smile once she’s out of sight. Plucking her discarded panties off the floor, I bring them to my nose and inhale the scent of her pussy before shoving them into my pocket for later.
The darkness encompasses me without Sophie in the room. I go back to the punching bag. Fucking her in this state will only complicate things. She deserves better—a man who isn’t me. I’ll be damned if I let my primal needs take those choices away from her, even if I want to, so fucking badly. I beat the fuck out of the bad until my muscles ache and knuckles bleed.
Tonight, I’ll show her the monster beneath the surface.
Tonight, I’ll get her to leave me the fuck alone.
“I can’t come tonight.” Ivan’s voice fills my ear.
“And why the fuck not?” I growl, my leg bouncing up and down. I need him and Violet there tonight. Without them, Sophie has no protection, and that puts her right in the line of a worse fucking danger than me. The time before last, someone decided to have a shoot-out in the crowd, causing mass fucking chaos.
“Violet is sick. I’m not leaving her to watch my brother get his ass kicked in some underground fight.” I shake my head, trying to figure out what the fuck I’m going to do with Sophie. She's sitting on the opposite side of the room on one of the leather couches while Mac and Dev pour themselves a couple drinks inside my office at the gym.
I have said maybe five words to her since our incident in the basement earlier today. Mainly because I’m not sure what to say.