“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be chasing that girl you were talking to?” Ember asked with an amused smile.
I sent her a sly look. “What? Why be with one when I’ve got three right here?” She tried and failed to hide her smile. “So, where are your parents? Shouldn’t they be taking care of the kids?”
Ember merely looked down at the toddler in her arms. Molly was smiling around her sippy cup. “They aren’t what you would call involved parents. My dad’s at the bar, and who knows where my mom is.”
“Don’t you have school or a job?” I asked.
“I’m an EMT, but I only work three times a week, so I take care of the babies on my day off.”
“I thought this was only university housing?”
“Technically, it is, but I’ll keep a secret if you can. I don’t think the twins will rat us out.”
I could only stare down at Tillie who’d taken a seat next to me, momentarily shaken, when I realized she was staring up at me as she sucked back her juice. She blinked owlishly, and her throaty little grunts made me smile.
“You’re pretty good with her,” Ember said.
“The ladies love me,” I cooed to Tillie.
“Whatever you say, hotshot.”
“What’s up with the hotshot?”
“You play ball, don’t you?” She nodded toward the hoodie wrapped around my waist. “I’ve gotten used to reading people. You seem like the cocky sports type.”
“I can’t argue with that. I’m a pitcher.”
“Naturally,” Ember said, lifting Molly onto her lap for a cuddle. She pulled out baby wipes from a basket under the coffee table and began wiping Molly’s sticky hands.
Tillie was already fighting sleep again as I picked her up to do the same. I copied Ember as she patted Molly on the back. Both girls fussed a little, and Ember showed me to her room, which she shared with the twins. She put Molly down in one of the cribs and then Tillie in the other.
“So, your parents live here with you?” I asked as the twins settled into a deep sleep. They were kinda cute when they weren’t screaming.
“For the most part. They’re rarely here. This used to be my place, but they got kicked out of theirs, and then mom got pregnant. I couldn’t exactly leave them on the street.” The red tinge of shame colored her cheeks, but I didn’t judge her for that.
Ember pulled the door closed on the sleeping girls, and we were alone in the hallway.
The silence closed in around us, and my heart began to thud in my chest. I’d followed her because I couldn’t not, but now that I had her alone, I couldn’t quite find any words. It was a first—being awkward around a woman.
She raised a hand before I could get them out. “Don’t,” she said warningly.
“Don’t what?”
“You’re going to ask me out—and you’re cute and everything—but I’m in no place to have a boyfriend. I just started my job at the station, and I’ve got the twins and my parents. I’m sorry, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”
I nodded and tried to hide how crestfallen I was. Which didn't make sense. We had just met, and I wasn't looking to get tied down either.
“I understand, but I should get going,” I said and made to move toward the front door.
She stopped me with a hand on my arm. “I could use a friend though,” she said.
Chapter Three
Ember
“Ember! EMBER! EMBER!”
I struggled to consciousness, slowly at first, and then all at once, snapping awake and jerking to a sitting position. There was a moment where I wasn’t sure where I was. Sometimes it was like that at the station when we got a call and I couldn’t remember if I was still at home or not. Then my eyes focused on the twins, who’d fallen asleep on my bed again, and I relaxed.
Molly slept with her mouth slightly open to my left. Tillie was curled into a protective ball on my right. We must have fallen asleep watching TV after I had nagged them through our nighttime routine.
There are plenty of college-aged girls who would have resented having to take care of their sisters. I’ll admit I’m not perfect, but who could resent such innocent faces? It wasn’t their fault they were born to such irresponsible people. They didn’t deserve to be punished for my parents’ mistakes.
Sure, it was hard giving up most of my free time to care for them. I essentially became a teenage parent at seventeen and have been responsible for them ever since, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. They were the lights of my life.
“EMBER!”
My mother’s hoarse shout sounded as though she was screaming right in my ear, thanks to the thin walls of the apartment. I scrambled from the bed, careful not to wake the twins. Whatever my mom was screaming about couldn’t be anything good. She never paid us any attention unless she wanted something.
I followed the sound of her smoker’s cough into the living room, frowning when I discovered her with a lit cigarette clutched in her claw.
“You aren’t supposed to be smoking in the apartment, Mom.”
She really shouldn’t be smoking at all. She was only thirty-nine, but she looked twenty years older. Her skin was like aged leather, and the scent of stale tobacco clung to it like a shadow. No matter how much I urged her not to smoke, there was no point. There was no explaining anything to Jill Stevens.
“That’s the first thing you say to me when you wake up? No ‘good morning, Mom, how was your night?’” Mom snorted and puffed away on the cigarette, the cherry glowing a bright red-orange.
“You called me for something?” I asked instead of rising to her bait. There was no point in that, either. Arguing with her only gave fuel to feed whatever was irritating her.
I checked my watch, noting it was already six-thirty, and the twins had to be at the bus stop by seven to make it to their kindergarten class on time. As mom made discontented sounds behind me, I busied myself with pouring bowls of milk and cereal for the girls and packing their bags. She should have been doing it, of course, but in the six years the twins had been alive, I could count the number of times that she’d been proactive about their care on one hand.
Maybe this was why Chris jumped into another woman’s bed so quickly. Was I that much of a drag? Taking care of the twins was second nature to me, but maybe it was more of a hindrance to him than I’d thought. What kind of fresh college grad wants to be saddled with two kids right off the bat?
The train of thought distracted me, and I had made both bowls of cereal and packed the twins’ bags before I realized Mom was still speaking.
“Maggie has two tickets, and it’s gonna be a great show. Thank you for being there for your family, sweetie.”
I tuned back in with a quickness. “What are you talking about?”
Six forty-five. Mom lit another cigarette, her eyes squinting in my direction. Sometimes, I thought she was the child rather than the girls. Clearly, she wanted me to react. But I simply didn’t have the time. If she got us kicked out again, I’d take the twins to my next apartment, but she wouldn’t be tagging along.