And when Jesse had been away from me those months, I’d convinced myself he’d been screwing his way around the country before he picked up some random girl to bring home with him. Only he hadn’t. My battered heart forgot that sometimes.
I bit my lip and glanced out at the party, at the beautiful women, barely dressed, confident. “There’s a lot of temptation here.”
He cupped my face again and made me look at him. “I’ve been there and done that. I’ll be honest, I’ve fucked around a lot…”
I tried to pull away, but he held me fast.
“I’m not interested in casual hookups anymore. I don’t want that. I don’t want any of those women. I want you, Lila. Only fucking you. I thought we’d covered this? Christ, what we did in my bed the night you came to me was hotter than anything I’ve done with everyone else.”
I flushed hot. Focus, Lila. “Then why did you lie?” I whispered.
There was a party raging just a few yards from us, people laughing loudly, dancing, drinking, but here on this couch, cocooned in warmth under this quilt, we were a million miles away, like we weren’t part of any of it.
He took off his hat and tossed it aside, rubbing his hand over his hair. “I didn’t get the bruise in the ring.”
“What?”
“It was in a fight. I didn’t want you to see this.” He pointed to the bruise and cleared his throat. “My world isn’t like yours. It’s not nice and tidy. It’s fucked up sometimes…”
“You think mine’s nice and tidy?” But then what else would he think? I hadn’t shared any of the important stuff with him.
He searched my gaze. “Tidier than mine.”
I got it then, it sunk home. “You were trying to protect me?”
“Yeah, Bambi.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want you to do that. If I’m going to be part of your life, it can’t just be the parts you pick and choose. If you want this…if you want me, you need to let me in.” I held his green gaze. “Show me all of you, Jesse.”
Chapter Fourteen
Jesse
I looked down into her beautiful eyes and forced myself to lie to her. “Okay.” I could never show her all of me. Not with sweet, little Lila. I would never taint her with the dark shit of my past, the twisted shit I’d done for the club.
She smiled wide, and she was so beautiful my gut ached and my skin seemed too tight over my muscles. Yeah, I was a fucking bastard, but I’d lie, keep on lying. I’d do anything to keep the truth from her—to keep her.
She wouldn’t look at me the way she did anymore if she knew the things I’d done, where I’d come from. How could she? The club was my family, and I didn’t regret anything I’d done for them—I’d do anything to protect family. Anything. But I wasn’t so sure Lila would be okay with the truth.
She pressed closer, tipping her face up. Her hand on my bare chest was a molten hot brand. I leaned in and claimed her mouth. I was addicted to her mouth, her taste. That fuller lower lip drove me fucking wild. I opened, deepening the kiss, licking into her heat, sliding my tongue over hers. So hungry for her. Always hungry for her.
I cupped one of her soft tits and squeezed lightly. Christ, I loved her tits. She gasped and her nipple tightened against my palm. She didn’t ask me to stop, she pressed closer, wanting more. My girl liked it as dirty as me, and she’d asked me to show her everything. I intended to.
I needed my skin against hers badly, so I burrowed up under her shirt, cupping her again over her bra this time. “Fuck, you got nice tits,” I rasped, voice tight from how much I wanted her.
I sucked on her lower lip, nipped it, sucked on it again, then opened my mouth wider, forcing hers to do the same, and fucked her mouth with mine. Christ, kissing had never been this good. Never. Just this made me impossibly hard.
The texture of her lips, her taste, the scent of her skin, was my drug. She lit me on fire. With a growl, I tugged the cup of her bra down and hot, soft flesh spilled over into my hand. I shuddered and my dick throbbed. “Jesus, Lila.”
She made a desperate sound and chased my mouth, just as hungry for me. I wanted more of that, more of Lila greedy for me.
Her hand moved over my chest, her fingernail grazing my nipple, then down over my abs and my cock started weeping.
I didn’t want to let go of her tit, but I wanted under her skirt so bad, it was all I could think about. I took my hand away and chuckled darkly at her whimper of protest. I didn’t make her wait, I slid my hand up the inside of her soft, bare thigh to the teeny, tiny denim skirt that I’d wanted under the moment I laid eyes on her.
The first time I’d kissed her, I’d tried to touch her pussy and she’d slammed her thighs shut, had blushed and shied away. It seemed so long ago now.
She didn’t do that this time. No, she fucking spread wider for me, giving me room.
I groaned into her mouth. “You want more, Bambi?”
She trembled against me and nodded. “Y-yes, please.”
That soft plea ripped through me. Fuck, I was close to coming in my jeans. That’s all it took—Lila wanting me to touch her.
“What color?”
“Hmmm?”
“Your panties. Bet they’re pretty. All silky and dainty.”
“I l-like nice underwear.”
Yeah, she did. And every morning I wanted to know what she was sliding on, how they’d look molded to her gorgeous body.
“What color, baby?”
“Purple.”
I groaned again and my dick throbbed harder.
Her and me, we should be impossible. To anyone looking in we were wrong for each other in every way. But when I was with her like this, just her and me, nothing felt more right. Nothing.
“You want me to make you come?” I said between kisses, running my knuckles along the seam of her pussy over those silky panties, waiting. Holding my breath.
She shook harder. “Yes.”
Fuck. I pressed deeper.
Lila gasped softly.
“You need it bad, don’t you, Bambi?”
“Yes. I’m…I’m so wet,” she whispered.
“Been dying to touch your pussy again, been dreaming about it, rubbing off to it.” I leaned back a bit into the corner of the couch and she came with me, lying against my chest as I pushed my hands down the front of her pretty panties. “Spread wider for me…that’s it.”
My hand actually shook as I pushed deeper into her underwear.
I groaned when my fingers slid over her slick, hot pussy. “You feel so good.” I started off nice and slow, gently gliding my finger through her pussy lips, grazing her little clit, working her up.
She pressed her face against the side of my throat and spread her thighs even wider for me.
Yeah, shit, that was hot. I kept it up, teasing her, avoiding her clit this time, her tight opening, and curled my other arm around her, sliding up under her shirt and cupping her breast again.
We were close to the party but away from the action, shadowed under the small porch and covered by a quilt.
“Can’t wait to get my mouth on you again,” I said low, and dipped my finger circling her opening. “Push my tongue in here, make you come against my mouth. You taste so good, Lila, did you know that?”