I bet he did. “He wanted to fuck you.”
“He hates himself for it, you can see it in his eyes. But he tells himself that I’m provoking him to make it okay.”
“He sounds like a twisted little fuck.”
She nodded. “It took me longer than it should have to see that. I was just trying to please my family. Date the right boy, from the right family, you know? It was a mistake.”
I rubbed her back. “What’s the deal with your folks, Lila?”
She lifted her head, her hands resting on my shoulders. “Kate was a little wild as a teen. She met Eric at high school and got pregnant. My parents kicked her out. That’s when we left Rocktown and moved to Spring Haven. They were…strict with me after that. They spied on me, shamed me, and threatened to kick me out as well to control me. It was…bad. Unbearable, for a lot of years. I’d been so alone, confused. I thought there must be something wrong with me.” Her gaze locked on mine. “When I met you, the way you made me feel, the things I wanted with you, they scared me, but excited me more. It’s been hard forcing the crap my parents put in my head out, learning who the real me is, and sometimes I still don’t know. I’m still learning.”
“Lila.” She was killing me. I tugged her closer.
Her thumb glided over my lower lip.
“When you kissed me that first time by the lake…God, I wanted you, Jesse, so badly. I wanted to be like you. You were so…free. But they were still in my head, my mother calling me horrible names if I did anything she didn’t like, my father warning me not to disgrace the family. The awful things they said when I finally got up the courage and left. Meeting Eves changed my life, and it was through her that I met you. Jesse, you showed me that I shouldn’t feel guilty for taking my life back.” She cupped the side of my face. “I was suffocating with them. I’m not the good girl they tried to force me to be. I never was.”
“Fuck, Bambi…”
“Yes, I was thrown off balance, seeing Jarod again. But I’m okay. I am. When I came to you at your club, what we did that night, it was a…a revelation. What we do together, it’s not wrong or shameful.” She smiled, lips trembling. “It’s…it’s beautiful. God, when I took you in my mouth, the look in your eyes when you stared down at me, I didn’t feel small. I felt sexy. Alive. And when I took you deeper…” She squirmed on my lap. “Your skin flushed and your pulse raced at the base of your throat, and your eyes, they were so full of need. I didn’t feel weak, I felt…powerful.” She licked her lips, her hands moving restlessly on my shoulders. “It was just you and me, Jesse. No shadows from my past. Just us. And it was right.”
I gripped her lush ass and held her to me, heart racing so damn fast. “It will always be just you and me, Lila, I promise you that. And when we’re together, I want you to feel powerful and sexy and alive. Sex is about making each other feel good. You tell me what you want from me, and I’ll give it to you, always. Nothing is wrong. Not between us. Nothing.”
Her cheeks darkened and she rubbed her lips across mine. “I love it when you hold me tight, when you dig your fingers in so I still feel them there even when they’ve moved to another part of my body.”
I squeezed her ass, making her gasp and my cock throbbed. “What else?”
“I love the way you kiss me, like you can’t get enough of me. No one’s ever kissed me like you do.”
“Because I can’t get enough,” I rasped. “What else?”
“I love it when you lose control, when I have you deep in my mouth and you can’t stop yourself from thrusting deeper. You treat me like I am just any other girl.”
My heart was racing and my cock was close to punching through my jeans. I wanted this girl so much that my voice shook when I could finally form words. “You’re wrong. I will never treat you like any other girl, Lila, because I’ve never felt about any other girl the way I feel about you, not even close.” I cupped her face, holding her close, our lips almost brushing. “And you don’t have to worry about me suddenly holding back from you, Bambi, because that’s impossible. I have no control around you. None. When I’m inside you I lose my damn mind, and I can’t hold back. That’s an impossibility. And just being in the same room as you…Lila, you make me so hard, so primed to fuck, I can’t think straight.”
“Jesse,” she whispered, her hips shifting restlessly against mine, her panted breaths hot and sweet against my lips. “I need that. Please, give it to me.”
“You want me inside you, Bambi?”
“Yes.”
My mouth was on hers a moment later in a dirty, hot kiss that was deep and wet and definitely out of control. I gripped the bottom of her shirt and tugged it off, tossing it aside. I had her bra undone two seconds later. I pulled away from the hottest kiss of my life so I could look at her gorgeous tits.
Her nipples tightened under my gaze, and I took their fullness into my hands and squeezed, loving Lila’s little gasp.
The tight buds were hard against my palms as I played with them, pressing them together, scooting down on the couch while tugging her higher so I could get my mouth on them.
“Hey, girls,” I muttered and slid my thumbs over her hard, little nips, watching goose bumps lift all over her creamy skin. “I know you missed me, but tonight we’re gonna get reacquainted.”
Lila laughed huskily. “Are you talking to my boobs?”
I glanced up at her. “Shhh, they like it.” My gaze went back to her sexy tits and I pinched and teased the right one. Lila moaned. Christ, she was hot. “The other side’s getting jealous, think I should kiss it better?”
“Yes,” Lila said, her movements growing agitated, her breath shaking out of her. “Definitely kiss it.”
With a groan, I tugged her forward and sucked her into my mouth. Fuck me. How was it that everything was so much better with Lila?
I stood and strode through the living room, into her bedroom, with her wrapped around me.
“I missed you,” she whispered. “So much.”
Getting back to her had been the only thing I’d cared about, and I planned to fuck her until she forgot everyone who hurt her, until she couldn’t think, only feel.
Until she could only see me.
Chapter Eighteen
Lila
“How are things going with you and Riff?”
I glanced at Eves as I dismounted from Asher, one of the horses she’d been working with, and grinned. After our talk, when I’d told Jesse about Jarod and my parents, things between us were better than ever. I could honestly say the last week had been the best of my life.
“I’ll assume that cheesy grin means things are going good?” Eves smiled as well, but there was concern in my best friend’s eyes.
“You have nothing to worry about. In fact, things are kind of amazing.”
Eves undid her saddle and I did the same. “I’m so glad, Ly. I’m also pretty happy he pulled his head out of his butt. I don’t ever want to see you hurt like that again.”
I slid the saddle off Asher, and Eves and I carried them into the barn to put away. “He was trying to protect me.”