Chapter 1
The duty of a lady’s maid was, first and foremost, to offer a listening ear to her mistress. She was to be smart, informed, and sophisticated when it came to current fashions, as well as have a proficient knowledge of her mistress’s complexion and which colors best suited it. Her arsenal was to include creams, combs, a sewing kit, and a touch of rose salve.
But with a mistress like Miss Sophia Sedgwick, I was required to keep more than just her complexion in perfect condition. I was required to keep her secrets.
“My mother refused my trip to Hampden Park again.” Sophia slumped into the chair in front of me, letting out a long sigh. “She says I must go to Bibury instead. An invitation has come from some distant relative of mine, but I have no wish to meet her or endure her intentions for my visit.” Sophia met my eyes in the mirror. “This old woman claims she has a handsome young gentleman to match me with, should I like to have the opportunity. There are four other ladies coming to meet him.” She cast her gaze upward. “I don’t care to beg and compete for attention from a gentleman who is likely not even handsome or rich. At any rate, I have no wish to be married yet, so why should I be forced to go?”
Sophia had already spent much of the day arguing with her mother over her expected trip to Bibury. Mrs. Sedgwick had not been willing to concede, and Sophia was expected to leave in less than a week. If she did happen to marry this mysterious gentleman, I could only hope she would take me with her as her lady’s maid in her new household. She was quite fond of me when I listened silently to her prattle. Although, keeping Sophia unmarried would allow me to stay in the same household as my mother, who currently served as Mrs. Sedgwick’s maid.
I began running my comb through her blonde hair. I opened my mouth to speak, but she raised her hand to shush me. “Oh, I do not care what you think. You are only a maid. How pathetic and sad that you are the only female I have to converse with.” Her upper lip curled with disgust and she leaned closer to the mirror. She traced her cheek with her finger, sitting back with a scowl. Had she found something wrong? As I saw it, Sophia’s appearance was as perfect as a lady could ever wish for. Porcelain skin, blue eyes, long, curved lashes, a natural flush to her cheeks…not a blemish in sight.
“If I went to Hampden Park for the spring instead, I could be with my dearest friend, Anne,” Sophia continued. “I have been dreaming of seeing her grand home for years. Mama has never allowed me to go because she despises Anne’s mother. She married the man Mama intended to wed, and their friendship has been shattered ever since.”
If I were a gossip, I would have loads of secrets to spread below stairs. But I was raised a lady, and so would behave like one. There was also the unsettling fact that I could be released from my position in an instant if I was found gossiping. There had been a time Sophia had listened to me, but that was before I became her maid. All she cared now was that I conducted myself in a manner befitting my new station. So I continued combing in silence, a task which took several minutes, what with the length and thickness of her hair. My ears remained peeled, should she like to deposit any more secrets within them.
“But that does not mean I cannot be friends with Anne!” Sophia continued in a whine. “Perhaps in visiting Hampden Park, I might aid in reconciling our mothers. If I go to this matchmaking woman now, I will surely be pursued by the gentleman and have no choice but to accept his offer. I will have no opportunity for adventure again.” She gave an anguished sigh. “How will I bear it?” True to form, she didn’t really expect an answer. Her blue eyes caught on her reflection again. “I ought not to frown so much. I will have wrinkles like yours.”
I examined my reflection. What wrinkles I had were not caused by aging. I was just three days over two and twenty, after all. Regardless, their origin was not a mystery. I could think of the many times in my life I had chosen to frown when I might have smiled. If I had known to cherish what I once had, I might not have acquired such creases in my face, faint as they were. But Sophia missed nothing, especially when it came to the flaws of others.
“I should like a warm bath drawn in the morning.”
I nodded, making a mental note.
“I have tea with my mother and Lady Dinah in the afternoon. Which dress do you suggest for my present complexion?” Sophia framed her face with her hands, looking up at me expectantly.
“I would suggest blue, perhaps the silk gown you purchased two weeks ago. Lady Dinah hasn’t yet seen that one.”
Sophia pursed her lips. “I will consider it.” She turned back to face the mirror, and I quickly worked her hair into a braid for sleep before tightening the rags around her face.
She released a long yawn, pulling her night jacket over her chemise. “You may go now, Sherbrooke.” She stood and climbed into bed. I curtsied before blowing out the candles around the room, taking the last one with me, the small light guiding me to the door and out into the dark hall of Sedgwick Manor.
Sherbrooke. I missed being called Tillie or Matilda. I would have even liked Miss Sherbrooke. Pinching my shoulder blades together, I corrected my thoughts. My life would never be what it once was. The Sedgwick family had been exceedingly kind in taking me on as Sophia’s maid after the ruination my father brought upon my mother and me. I should be grateful. Content. Relieved. The words pounded into my skull as I made my way downstairs, trying to stir up real emotions inside me. Perhaps soon I would feel them.
My bed was a welcome sight, and I curled atop the blanket for a moment before readying myself for sleep. Tucking my chin onto my arm, I waited for my eyes to fully adjust to the dimness before reaching for the letter I kept under my pillow.
My dearest Tillie, it began. That first line was my favorite.
Papa’s gruff and gentle voice floated up through the letter, entering my comprehension through my thoughts rather than my ears like I wished it would. It had been too long since I had heard him speak. Tears stung my eyes as I folded the letter closed again, each fold delicate and slow. I bit back my emotion, fighting the longing in my heart.
My life had changed. That was all. It had changed, but it was not over. There was always some good to be seen in every circumstance. My life was far more comfortable than Papa’s life at the moment. I closed my eyes against the image of what he might be enduring now, after spending the last three months imprisoned in Canterbury Gaol.
And I was helpless, entirely helpless to save him.
I studied the letter again, my heavy exhales causing my candle flame to flicker in and out. The words had begun to fade on the creases, and soon the paper would tear. But I still couldn’t stop myself from reading it every night. It was a wasteful thing to do, for I had already memorized each word.
My head pounded as I slipped the worn paper under my pillow, my body aching from the events of the day. Without bothering to change, I blew out the candle and my eyes drifted closed. It seemed I had only slept for a few hours before a thick hand grasped my upper arm.
My eyes shot open, heart pounding. Had I slept too long? I had accustomed myself to the new schedule, but the unforgiving face of the housekeeper, Mrs. Brisbane, stared down at me. Her square jaw and wide-set eyes looked rather masculine in the dimness.
“Mistress Sophia ‘as taken ill,” she said.