Chapter 30
Hadley
My body feels deliciously sore as I attempt to stretch my taut muscles. It’s a good feeling—a sensual sense of satisfaction that seeps into your pores and embeds itself in your bloodstream. I’m nothing but a satiated puddle of bones, my entire being hewn from lead.
A hard body lies beneath my own, and I turn my head to snuggle against his chest. His distinct citrus and pine scent curls around me, making me feel innately safe and secure.
Memories from the night before play on repeat in my head.
Fuck, how could Braxton think that of me? That I love Caius and not him? Did the others think that as well? It wasn’t like that. At all. Caius was my Fated in my previous life, but the quad is, apparently, my Fated in this one. I can’t ignore the inevitable bond tying me to Caius any more than I can fight my connection to the brothers. They all hold a piece of me, but that doesn’t make my love any less. I need Auston’s steadfast strength and over-protectiveness that makes me feel safe. I need Karston’s humor and wit like I need the air to breathe. I need Preston, my anchor and best friend, the clumsy, adorable man who will always put me first. I need my snarky, broody Demon who demands the best of me.
And I need the first man I’d ever loved. My darkness and my strength.
Words fail to encapsulate the full extent of my feelings for these men. The sudden onslaught of my previous memories did not help matters. Suddenly, I have an entire lifetime to decipher. Each memory is there but blurry and indistinct. I know if I want to, I can call upon them, but I’m terrified. What will I see? What will my memories hold for me?
Sweeping those thoughts beneath the metaphorical rug to revisit at a later date, I wearily blink open my eyes.
Braxton’s dark ones are locked on me, as if I’m the only thing he’s capable of seeing.
“How long have you been watching me, you creep?” I tease as he plants a tantalizingly soft kiss to my lips. That, of course, brings back memories of what else my Demon can do with his mouth. The throb between my legs intensifies as I envision shoving Braxton between them once again.
Brax’s smirk shows me he knows exactly what I’m thinking about.
“You snore when you sleep,” he confesses candidly. I swat at his arm, but he retaliates by spanking my ass.
“Do not,” I protest.
“Do too. And you drool.”
Instinctively, I brush at my mouth, confirming that no liquid has fallen. Asshole.
The playful gleam in Braxton’s eyes dissipates as quickly as it arrived. His expression turns solemn as he tenderly brushes aside a strand of my sandy blonde hair.
“You never told us what happened with Administer.”
My body tenses up as those memories assault me. I don’t know if I’ll forget the immense panic I felt when I saw Caius’s lips centimeters from the golden apple. I think…
I think that was the first time I realized I loved him. Not the love he made the fake Hadley feel, but real love.
“Administer…” I swallow thickly, grabbing at Braxton’s biceps as if they’re the only things that will keep me anchored to the here and now, not swept away by the memories of my past. “He kidnapped me with the help of the other professors.” Braxton swears vigorously, but I continue before he can interrupt. “They’re obsessed with stopping the Darkness, this great evil. They knew about our connection and used me against him. Either they kill my soul completely…or his.”
“I’m going to kill those motherfuckers,” he seethes, baring his teeth. I tilt my head to capture his plush lower lip between both of my own, effectively silencing him.
“Don’t,” I say, pulling away. “Besides, we’re all kind of already dead.” My attempt at a joke falls flat when Braxton glares at me, slashing eyebrows pulled low over glowering eyes. I remove my hands from his arms to smooth away the crease on his forehead. “But, in a way, I understand their reasoning.”
“For kidnapping you? An innocent student? Threatening your life?” he rages, red splotches erupting on his cheeks.
“They wanted to stop the Darkness. In their minds, he’s the epitome of all things evil. He’s the devil. The creature locked in Hell to protect the rest of the world.” I shrug helplessly. “It wasn’t too long ago that we all thought Caius was evil as well. We would’ve done anything to stop him.”
“I still think he’s an evil, manipulative fucker,” Braxton snaps before he sighs heavily. “But he did one thing right when he saved you.”
“He did,” I agree, kissing his nose. “The second I was kidnapped, my connection to Caius sprang to life. He didn’t waste any time in coming for me. He wouldn’t have hesitated to kill himself to save me.” Tears spring to my eyes at the reminder of what I could’ve lost. Fuck, when did my feelings for Caius—for the Darkness—get so complicated? I don’t condone his past actions, but I also can’t ignore the thudding of my heart, demanding I forgive him.
“He saved me,” I repeat adamantly. “You can hate him, I don’t blame you, but just know that he was willing to trade his life for mine.”
Something akin to grudging respect flickers across Braxton’s face before he masks it with his usual glower.
“I still hate the asshole,” he warns me. “But for you, I won’t keep trying to kill him.”
Overcome by the enormity of my emotions for this man, I kiss him once more, our tongues tangling together before I reluctantly pull away.
“Speaking of killing…we should go check on the others. Auston was on Caius duty tonight, and I need to make sure all of my men are still in one piece.”
Braxton rolls his eyes but obliges. I can’t help but watch him get dressed, reveling in the flex of his muscles and expanse of his dark wings as he shoves a shirt over his head. Somehow, it’s just as erotic as watching him get undressed.
“If you keep staring at me like that, sweet girl, we’ll be here another couple hours,” he warns, eyes flaring with heat. My cheeks flame as I stumble to my feet, slipping my panties back on and throwing on Auston’s tattered sweatshirt.
I mentally have to calm my raging libido before she begins dry-humping Braxton like a bitch in heat.
As we begin our walk across campus, towards the Angel dorms, Braxton stops me abruptly with a tug on my arm. Quirking a brow, I turn towards him only to immediately be wrapped in his embrace.
“I love you, Hadley,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against my own. “I’m a stubborn ass, and I sometimes believe my heart has been shredded beyond repair, but what I have to give is yours.”
“Brax…” I kiss the corner of his lips tenderly. “I promise to treasure it always. I love you too. So damn much.”
For a moment, time is suspended as we stare into each other’s eyes. We’re two broken individuals, two souls that have been beaten and stomped on by life itself. But we’re able to mend each other’s cracks until it’s hard to remember that we have ever been shattered in the first place.
“Let’s go see the asshole,” Braxton says at last, pulling away from me and interlocking our fingers.
“Brax,” I tease, “don’t talk about Auston that way.”