The call’s gone silent.
Shit! He’s ended the call without hearing my side.
My breaths turn fast and shallow, and I can’t stop the burning in my throat and behind my eyes.
My phone dings, and for a moment my hope lifts seeing the message from Reef and falls seeing the image of me kissing his friend. The moment the photograph was taken, I wasn’t pushing away. You can’t see that my arms are trapped. Only my eyes are closed, and from the side, it looks like I’m enjoying the kiss.
“Fuck my life.”
I throw the phone onto the bed.
Reef didn’t even give me a chance.
And he’s being traded at the end of the season.
Who’s not being honest now? When was he going to tell me about this?
I flop on my bed and cover my eyes with my arms and keep my thoughts in the dark. I need to call him back. Does he even want me to call him back?
If his friend ever steps foot in Lombardi’s, I’ll…
Do nothing.
I let out a little sob knowing I can’t say anything to customers. I don’t want to be anywhere near those guys since it took more than one of his friends to set up the prank.
My throat burns, acknowledging his friends didn’t think I was right for Reef. And in truth, I’m not.
Only it’s too late because he already owns my heart, and I didn’t have the courage to tell him. I only hope he’s willing to speak to me when he returns.
I can explain everything when you come home.
It’s a big misunderstanding. x
It takes a few seconds for him to reply.
Don’t bother. We’re done.
He hasn’t even heard my side. I thought I knew him and don’t understand why he’s being unreasonable.
You need to know I do love you.
I was waiting for the right moment to tell you.
To hell with texts. I pick up the phone and call him.
“You say that now?” Is how he answers the phone in a deep, low voice.
“Yes. I do love you. I don’t know what to say to fix this, but your friend forced himself on me and kissed me. We are right for each other, Reef,” I croak. Even though there’s silence, I keep talking. “You know how we talked about where we see each other in ten years? Well, I see myself with you. I mean what can I say to fix this? I see myself having your babies. Is that what you want me to say?”
“It’s exactly what I don’t want you to say.” I hear the growl as though he’s said the words between clenched teeth. “You don’t know me at all. Goodbye, Macy.”
I collapse on the floor, curl up into a ball, and ugly cry until it’s time to go to work.
Since my car is parked at work I call an Uber. Sitting in the back of the car, I wipe away a never-ending supply of tears and don’t even remember stopping at traffic lights. We arrive at Lombardi’s, and I thank the driver. I find my keys in my bag and unlock my car, needing a private space before I commence work. Resting my head on the steering wheel, I give myself a pep talk, the same one I’ve given my father countless times. I swallow most of the water out of my drink bottle to wash away the lump in my dry, sore throat. Reaching for my makeup bag, I dab on bronzer and lean back to squeeze eye drops in my eyes. It’s going to be tough to get through the night, and the last thing I need is for people asking me if I’m okay and reminding me I’m far from it.
For years I’ve helped my father get through the tough times, and this time it’s my doing, and I’m not sure I can fix it. I can only fix me. It’s not the picture that broke us. It was simply the icing on the cake.
I broke us.
Every time he tried to break through my armour, I pushed Reef away.
Afraid to fall in love.
I denied I could fall in love or was worthy of Reef. The fear stopping me is exactly what I’m feeling right now. The knife twisting a hole in my heart is not from falling in love, it’s reliving the agonising pain of someone leaving me all over again.
My mother didn’t crush me. Dad and I managed to get through the grief together. I’ve never loved a guy like Reef. Never fallen so hard and fast, and ironically our love gave me the best sex I’ve ever experienced.
I touch the necklace sitting on my chest.
A symbol of new beginnings.
Do we even have one?
I close my eyes and open the car door. I have a choice. First, to learn from my mistakes. The second is what I’m going to say to him when he comes in for coffee at Lombardi’s.
That is if he comes in at all.
Chapter Twenty
REEF
New Year’s Eve
“Why the sour expression?” Felicity drawls. Dark red lips pout, and on her, the colour looks evil.
If ever there’s a reason to be miserable, it’s being at a party with my ex.
“Thought you’d be getting wasted with your mates before heading back to Adelaide.” She raises a perfectly shaped tattooed brow. “Not looking sorry for yourself on a day where the world celebrates together. A day we all make resolutions for a better new year. So, what is it Reef Burton wants that he doesn’t already have?”
“Bugger off, Felicity. Even if I were the type to make resolutions, I’d never tell you.” I down the remainder of the beer in the bottle. The last of it is warm since I’ve been sitting on the same drink for a good hour. I am simply holding the bottle to have something in my hands to look social. Warm beer is still preferential to talking to the snake I refer to as my ex.
“You don’t have to tell me anything. It’s written all over your face. A girl break your heart? Again?”
“You make it sound like it happens all the time. We both know it’s you who likes to tally up the boyfriends.”
“And I break hearts, not the other way around. When are you going to learn to harden up?”
“Jesus, you’re still a bitch.”
She tosses her long blonde tresses over her shoulders. “Maybe. At least I know what I want and go for it.”
“Even if it means lying to get it,” I say through clenched teeth. The memory still fresh, the bitter taste of manipulation and deceit lingers on my tongue.
“You loved me.”
“Why are you still here?” I walk off, grab another beer out the ice, and crack open the lid, then wipe the cold bottle across my forehead. When I turn, Felicity is standing behind me. “For fuck’s sake, don’t you take a damn hint?”
“Answer the question, Reef. You did love me, didn’t you?” Her green eyes search mine for honesty. The truth is bubbling up inside of me bursting to give it to her straight.
“Yes. Past tense. I can barely stand the sight of you now.”
“I don’t believe you.” She takes a step closer and gets in my face. “You’re angry and hurt at what I did, and you’re allowing those feelings to get in the way of how you really feel. I did what I had to do to keep you.”
“Keep me,” I croak. “You hadn’t lost me then. I still have no idea why you pretended you were pregnant.”
“Because you were going to leave me here until you settled in Adelaide. We both know you were not going to ask me to come, after living with three guys and starting to receive all the attention of famous football players. We were high school lovers. You were hitting the big time and would forget about me. Forget about us. I couldn’t risk it. I wanted to come with you and be by your side from the start of your football fame.”