I just don’t know where to start.
But one thing is clear. I don’t think I can sum up the effort to keep up anymore small talk, and it’s obvious she’s said everything she came here to say.
Bonnie tugs on the leash again, anxious to continue our run. “I should probably get going. Thank you for telling me, though. And for stopping by. I really appreciate it.”
“Thank you for almost running me over,” she teases. “I was headed into Get Baked to see you, so it really worked out. I guess it was meant to be. But you’re right. I need to get going too. My sister, Bianca, is watching my little girls along with a two-year-old of her own, so I can only imagine the chaos she’s experiencing. I should probably go relieve her.”
Blanching, I cover my mouth at the prospect. “Oh my gosh! I can’t even imagine having to herd that many little kids all at once!”
“I know, huh?” Her tinkling laughter proves that even though parenting is hard, you quickly learn to roll with the punches. “I’ll see you later.”
“You too.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Charlie
Sucking my lips into my mouth, I rock back on my heels and raise my fist into the air for the tenth time in the last thirty seconds. Before I can talk myself out of it––again––I pound on the solid door in front of me.
Then I wait.
And I wait.
And all the while, my heart is racing a million beats a minute while I force my feet not to move an inch from this spot. I know that if I do, I’ll be down the hall before Levi has a chance to answer the door.
However, when the door in front of me creaks open, I’m greeted with a glimpse of Conner instead.
I jerk back in surprise before sliding my hands into the front pockets of my jeans as an awkward silence follows the sound of the squeaky hinges.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, his tone accusatory.
I shouldn’t have assumed Levi would be home, but he wasn’t working at Montague Enterprises anymore so….
“He’s not here,” Conner states. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorframe.
“I can see that.”
“He’s at his mom’s house. He’s moving in with her.”
Brows raising, I try to peek around his massive frame, but can’t see into their apartment.
“Oh.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“What question?” I murmur, trying, and failing, to maintain eye contact with him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to ask Levi something.”
“And what’s that?”
It’s not any of his business. I know this, and I’m pretty sure he knows this too, but a small part of me is too much of a people pleaser to voice that fact out loud.
Instead, I clear my throat, roll my shoulders back, and look him straight in the eye. “I wanted to know why he turned down the job.”
“He what?” Conner’s voice almost cracks in surprise.
Interesting. Apparently, Levi’s been keeping more secrets.
Lifting my thumb over my shoulder while not really caring I just divulged a piece of precious information to the enemy, I mutter, “I should go.”
“Wait.”
I pause in my retreat then look him straight in the eye. “What do you want, Conner?”
He’s still on my shit list. Mainly because he left out a crucial detail during the grand opening. He failed to mention that Levi backed out of the deal. I’m not sure if it would’ve changed the outcome between me and Levi, but still. He’s not as much of a victim as he’s portraying himself to be, and it pisses me off.
“I want you to tell me how you know Levi got the job offer, and why he would turn it down.”
Mirroring him, I cross my arms and give him a glare. “I don’t know why he turned it down. If I did, I wouldn’t be standing here in front of your door now, would I?”
“Why are you pissed at me?” he asks defensively.
“First of all, you’re just as pissed as I am. Don’t even bother to deny it. Second, I know what happened. I know that you didn’t tell me the whole truth. I know that Levi backed out before you gave your presentation. I know that you probably tried to salvage it, but you still knew you weren’t going to be able to compete with Levi. I know that you were the one who approached him and planted the idea of whoring me out to you.”
He flinches back a few inches as if I’ve physically assaulted him. With a deliberate shake of his head, he replies, “Don’t put all this on me, Charlie. I liked you, okay? I genuinely liked you. Yeah, I felt like I was drowning at Montague Enterprises, and I wanted to throw in the towel. And yeah, I’m the one who approached Levi in the first place. But it wasn’t because I was only interested in getting in your pants, okay? I wanted a real chance, and I thought he could convince you to give it to me. Little did I know, you didn’t push me aside because I was an ass to you when we were little. Hell, you didn’t do it because you were innocent and scared of having a real relationship like Levi assumed. You pushed me aside because you were in love with your best friend, who never thought about you the way you thought about him until I came along. Am I right?”
My face reddens, a fresh wave of anger bubbling beneath the surface.
But still, he pushes me. “Say it, Charlie. Admit that you’re in love with someone who never saw you as anything more than a friend until he finally realized you were going to slip through his fingers.”
“Fine! You’re right! Okay? You’re right. I’ve been in love with Levi McCoy for as long as I can remember. Yet, he was willing to push me into someone else’s arms in hopes of getting a job.” Chest heaving, I shove my hair away from my face and turn to leave before I run into a brick wall. Or at least it felt like one until the familiar scent washes over me.
A strong set of arms wrap around my tiny frame, pulling me tight as a soft sob slips out of my lips.
“Shhh…,” Levi croons. “It’s okay.”
I shake my head against his broad chest and fight back the cries of frustration and hurt that are begging to be released.
“It’s not okay,” I choke out before grabbing onto his T-shirt and fisting the material in my hands. I’m mad at him. I’m mad at Conner. I’m mad at myself for being a coward for so many years. Why did I never tell him how I felt? Why did I wait for some screwed up situation like this before I finally took the leap and pursued something with him? Why did he betray me? Why does it not seem to matter anymore? I don’t even care about the stupid agreement. Yes, it was a mistake, but my relationship with Levi? How could that ever be wrong? All I want is Levi, and he’s right here. He’s within reach. Hell, he’s holding me, yet I still can’t get out of my head long enough to say, I love you, Levi. I freaking love you. I want you. I want you to want me. I want you to take the job, and I want you to live your happily-ever-after with me by your side. What the hell is stopping me? Why can’t I just tell him that?
I don’t know how long he holds me, or when Conner closed the door to his apartment to give us some privacy. But I do know that the sound of his steady heartbeat thrumming against my ear is the only thing that grounds me, and as I focus on the familiar rhythm, my frantic breathing evens out, and my tears slowly cease.