“Actually, no. He was surprised. We always assumed Richard would move back here.”
“That was the plan.”
“But he’s a nice guy and you seem good.” She reached out and squeezed my hand. “But our opinion doesn’t matter. What do you think? Do you want to move to New York?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Richard thinks he can help me find a job there and I have been thinking more and more about becoming a bookkeeper or even going back to school part time to become an accountant. Even with my bachelor’s degree, I’d need some more accounting-specific coursework before I could take the CPA exam.”
Aubrey smiled. “That’s great.”
I nodded. “But I could have done that here and haven’t.”
“Better late than never.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s not really about the job. I always pictured my life here. I love how close I am to you guys, watching CJ grow up, girls’ night with you, seeing how insanely in love you and my brother are. It fills a part of me that I thought I lost after my parents died.”
“You already know how much I love having you close by, but we’d find ways to make new traditions. You could come back and visit, we’d visit you, we’d Facetime… if it’s what you want then we’ll make it work. The question is, do you want the insanely in love more than you want to stay here?”
I didn’t think it was that simple, but I knew she had a point.
CJ busted through the front door, sweaty and dirty, and climbed into Aubrey’s lap. Watching them together, thinking about not being here to witness these moments was a little hard to swallow, but my sister-in-law was right, we’d find new ways to make memories.
“Where’s Daddy?” Aubrey asked just before Chance and Finn appeared in the doorway.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised to see Finn.
“I was invited.”
Chance leaned down and placed a kiss on Aubrey’s lips and then grabbed two waters and handed one to Finn. “We took little man to the park. If he’s going pro, we gotta start the training early. Mum and Dad want to retire nicely.” My brother winked at Aubrey and then held his hand up for CJ to high five. “Plus, the kid is a great wingman. You should have seen the women eyeing us.”
Aubrey narrowed her gaze, not even trying to hide her jealousy.
“Don’t worry, princess, I’ve only got eyes for you.” He twisted the top off his water bottle and took a long drink and Finn did the same. They were so much alike, and it all felt so familiar and comforting. It never felt this easy when Richard came with me. He and Chance just didn’t share as many interests. I hated that, but also accepted no one person was going to fit perfectly into my life.
Finn used the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face and I watched the sweat dripping down the rivets of his muscles. Aaand that was my cue to leave.
“Well, I should get back to my boyfriend.” I stood, ruffled CJ’s hair and then headed to the door.
Chance called after me. “We need to talk about your moving across the country with Dick.”
I shook my head at him and rolled my eyes, not that he could see me. “You sound more like Dad every day.”
Later that night after room service, after my boyfriend made love to me on the massive King bed overlooking the Pacific, I stayed awake staring out into the water. What was I waiting for? I wanted someone who made me feel like Finn but was as good for me as Richard and that wasn’t fair. Not to myself and not to Richard.
I climbed back into the bed and cuddled up next to Richard. “Are you awake?” I whispered.
“Mmm.”
“I’ll do it. I’ll move to New York with you.” My heart did a funny half flip – a plop, really. A weird jolt of pleasure stilted with disappointment that made no sense.
His eyes flew open and I forgot to breathe as guilt slammed into me seeing how happy he was. He was so certain of this and I felt awful for my hesitation. Wasn’t it a risk for him as much as it was for me? Why was he so certain and I wasn’t?
He kissed me, pulled back, and then rolled on top of me. “You’re going to love it. We’re going to be so happy. You’ll see.”
We didn’t check out of the hotel until late Sunday afternoon and then I went with Richard to the office. He’d just wanted to stop by to check on a few things, but thirty minutes later he was in deep conversation about the New York office with his boss and it didn’t appear that they were going to finish up anytime soon.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my emails stopping when I saw a new one pop up from [email protected]. Finn.
I clicked on it eagerly and the photo of my now empty entryway greeted me. He’d gotten rid of his wedding presents. It made me feel lighter. Maybe it was the Feng Shui I was certain would be improved or maybe I was just hoping it had lightened him.
I’d been so quick to look at the image it wasn’t until I scrolled back up that I noticed the words he’d written.
November 13, 1:21 p.m.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Feng Shui Restored
Boxes are gone. Thanks for your help.
Finn
I responded immediately, absolutely no chill and no second thoughts.
November 13, 1:22 p.m.
From: [email protected]
Reply Subject: Feng Shui Restored
You can thank me properly by naming the cat. She deserves a name.
Adele
P.S. How did you get my email address?
Finn was gone when Richard and I finally made it home. Kitty greeted us at the door, and I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom with us. As soon as I put her down, she meowed and circled my legs.
“She’s not going to sleep in here, is she?” Richard eyed the cat warily.
“She’s lonely.”
“You need some love, don’t you?” I asked and picked her back up. I carried her in one arm while I got ready for bed. I moved my hand up to her neck to scratch around her collar, but it was gone. No more diamonds for kitty. Hmmm. I wonder if he’d donated it with everything else.
Kitty purred and settled right in like she was greedy for any attention. She didn’t even flinch while I washed my face, dripping water on her adorable head. It made me wonder how long Finn had been gone. Had he gone out to the bar? Did he go home with some random girl?
I didn’t like the way the possible answers to those questions made me feel, but Finn was a grown ass man who could make his own bad decisions. If he thought sleeping with all of Hermosa Beach was going to cure his broken heart, then far be it from me to stop him. Some things you just have to learn on your own. I’d made enough mistakes to know that.
We went to bed with the door shut, kitty curled up at my feet. We were both still awake when Finn got home – kitty and me, I mean. The open and close of the front door and his footsteps growing closer and then retreating made it so I could envision him walking through the living room and down the hall to the spare room. Kitty hopped off the bed and sat at my door.