"Here you go."
"Thank you." I grip it tightly to my chest.
"Alannah look at me." I gaze at his tortured face.
"You still have it." I state.
"I do."
"Why?"
He sticks his hands in his pockets and walks away to stand in front of the large windows overlooking the city with his back to me.
"That night, I came in here and threw it in the drawer not wanting to look at it. As time went on, every time I opened that drawer and saw it, it was a reminder to not let anyone in again, to not allow myself to trust so easily again. The truth is I couldn't get rid of it, it was all I had left to remind me you were once here after removing every other reminder of you from the place." His shoulders sag as I hear him exhale.
There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said so instead I walk up behind him wrapping my arms around his waist, leaning my head on his back.
"I was just surprised to see it."
“I saw the look on your face while you were looking at it. It hurt you."
"It did, that ring meant so much to me at one time, now it doesn't exactly bring pleasant memories to mind."
"I'm sorry." He turns around in my arms. “I’ll get rid of it.”
"Stop apologising, we're moving on remember and it’s your ring, Nick, you can do whatever you like with it. Where’s Charlotte?"
"I left her on the couch with my laptop searching princess beds."
"I better go curtail her shopping spree. Thanks for the tape."
Later that afternoon Nick asks if we have any Christmas Eve traditions and Charlotte is quick to tell him about our camp-out waiting up for Santa every year.
"We gather our pillows and blankets and sleep in the living room waiting for Santa to arrive. She always sleeps right through.” I explain.
“Sounds like fun.”
After dinner and three rounds of a competitive game of Uno, we busy ourselves leaving milk and cookies out for Santa plus some carrots for the reindeers. Nick drags in the mattress from his bedroom and places it in the middle of the living room for us to sleep on. Once Charlie is satisfied that everything has been prepared to her liking the three of us get under the covers with Charlotte laying between us.
“Goodnight, mummy, goodnight, daddy.”
“Goodnight princess.” She curls into my side as Nick drapes his arm over us both holding my hand.
We’re quiet for a few minutes as Charlie falls asleep. The large room dimly lit by only the twinkling lights on the tree. It truly gives the place a magical feel.
“I’m looking forward to tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to see her face and excitement.” Nick tells me softly in order to not wake her.
“Me too. She loves being here and had a ball painting her room. I can’t believe she banned me from seeing it until it’s finished.”
“I wonder who she takes after?” He jokes. “Do you think I’m doing an okay job with her at this parenting thing so far?” He asks unsurely, although he has no reason to doubt himself.
“You’ve been absolutely wonderful with her, she loves you and wants to be around you more than me sometimes if you haven’t noticed. I’ll need to prepare her to go back home soon.” He pouts at that statement.
“Don’t. You knew this was only for a little while.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to like it. How are you feeling anyway, how’s the cough?”
“Much better, thank you again for everything.”
“Tell me, what’s your most favourite Christmas memory?” That’s an easy question to answer.
“I was ten. I was convinced I wasn’t going to get what I kept asking for. Don’t laugh but all I wanted was a red coloured snap strap watch. All the girls at school had one and I thought I would be so cool wearing one too. When I saw it I literally couldn’t speak for a couple minutes. The best part was not seeing any of the extended family or friends of my parents; it was just the three of us all day. We were so happy. We had a great big breakfast which we all helped to cook together, in the afternoon it was having hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies. I want that experience for Charlotte.”
“Then that’s what she’ll have, baby.”
“How about you, what’s your favourite Christmas?”
“This one right here.” I look at him sceptically with raised brows.
“It’s true, I mean my parents always made the holiday full of fun and family time but over the years it seemed to lose its meaning. I suppose with Charlotte here I’m finding the magic in it again. I can’t begin to explain how much it means that you came to be here for Christmas. I would most likely be on my own right now. Anyway, I’m going to go get her gifts and put them under the tree.” He cuts off any further conversation by standing up.
Christmas morning I’m woken by Charlotte’s excited “Santa came!” as she inspects the plate of cookies and all the brightly coloured packages around the tree. Nick and I secretly smile at each other knowing we shared the milk and cookies between us.
"Merry Christmas, Alannah.” Nick sits up kissing me deeply before turning to Charlotte who’s jumping up and down. “Merry Christmas, Miss Charlotte.”
“Can I open them?”
“Go ahead.”
I grab my phone to film her ripping everything open. She got arts and crafts activities, princess dresses and some books. Her main gift from Santa was a pink mini grand piano just like her daddy’s which she absolutely adores. While she’s busy tinkering with it I pull the black box from under the tree which I placed there handing it to Nick.
“This is for you.” I nervously say.
“You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“I wanted to.”
He unties the green ribbon and lifts the lid. Sitting on top is a framed photograph of the three of us from Charlotte’s birthday party and a book called A Dad’s Survival Guide to Raising Daughters, it’s one of those funny parenting guides, I thought he’d get a kick out of it.
“This is great,” he chuckles. Lastly he pulls out the folded piece of paper in the bottom. “What’s this?”
“Open it.”
He unfolds it and I know the moment he realises what it is he’s holding. He gasps then holds his breath, his eyes pooling with tears as they meet mine.
“This…this is…” I watch him swallow his emotion down.
“Yes. When you were looking at her school work or swimming achievements everything had Charlotte Stewart written on it and I heard you mumbling to yourself, it wasn’t hard to miss the disappointment in your face that she was a Stewart. When she was born I left the father’s name blank on her birth certificate, but this is how it should be.”
“Charlotte Moore.” He whispers running his fingers across the letters. He captures me in his arms in a soul crushing hug, kissing me hungrily only stopping to rest his forehead against mine. “Thank you, you have no idea what this means to me.”
“I wanted to give you something meaningful. I know it’s not much.”
“No, Alannah this is everything. Okay, your turn.” He calls Charlotte over from playing with her new toys. They hand me two boxes, one large and silver, the other a tiny gold wrapped one.