Mason
I had no damn clue what had happened.
One minute she was falling apart in my arms. The next I felt like she was a million miles away.
I had been racking my brain trying to figure out what I had done wrong. Was it too much? Was it too soon?
None of it made sense. She had made the move.
I had no intention of pushing her further. Not yet. It wasn’t part of my plan. I was still working on getting her to like me. I needed her to want to be with me before we were intimate again, but now everything was completely fucked up.
The entire ride home her body was stiff behind mine. Gone was the girl who felt carefree and happy behind me. The one who had leaned into me as she leaned her head back in the wind. The one who had wrapped her arms around me and squealed when I revved my engine.
She was gone.
Instead, I was left with the Staci that everyone else saw.
The one I was starting not to like.
I pulled up outside her apartment and took a deep breath as I cut the engine. She didn’t say a word as she slung a leg over my bike and got off without even giving me a chance to help her. She pulled her helmet from her head, her face completely hidden from my view, and when she finally turned back to me, that fake ass smile was back on her face.
But it wasn’t until she pulled her phone from her pocket that I saw the girl I knew, the girl I was falling in love with, disappear.
“Thank you for the ride. I had a great time.” She held my helmet out toward me, but I didn’t grab it. Instead, I just stared at her. I stared at her and tried like hell to figure out what I could do. What I had done.
“What’s wrong?” I finally asked as I pulled my own helmet from my head and ran my fingers through my hair.
“Nothing’s wrong. Why would you think that?” Her hand was on her hip, and she had such a fake confidence about her. A look that said I didn’t stand a chance against her, but I guess in reality I never did.
I motioned toward her with my hand, and I saw something flicker in her eyes. “Something is wrong. I know you.”
“You don’t know me.” Her voice was low, and my body jerked back an inch at her words.
“I don’t know you?” I questioned as I stood from my bike and she backed up an inch. “I think I know you pretty fucking well.”
“You don’t.” She reached around me and set her helmet on the seat of my bike. “You only know what you want to know, Mason. But I’m not that girl. I’m fucked up.” She stared into my eyes. “I’m not good at things like this.” She motioned her hands between the two of us. “It’s best we just end whatever the hell this is, now.”
I let her words sink into me and panic like I had never felt before filled me. Panic to cling to her, to beg her to take back her words.
“I know that you eat ice cream like it’s its own food group.”
She rolled her eyes at my insignificant fact.
“I know that when you start to feel sad, you only listen to Ed Sheeran and you mouth the words to the songs even when you’re tattooing. I know that you are a fiercely loyal friend, and my sister is damn lucky to have you.”
I took a small step toward her and she turned her head to look away from me.
“I know that you snort just a tiny bit when you think something is really funny and you gasp for breath when you cry from a sappy chick flick. I know that you hide behind this hard, bad girl shield to keep people at a distance, but you have a wall full of romance books in your room and you look like you are falling in love again and again every time you’re reading one.”
“Mason.” She twirled the end of her braid in her hand and looked up at her apartment.
“I know that you push me away because you’re scared of what we could be. Of what we are becoming.”
I watched her then. I watched her close her eyes and take a deep breath. I watched her brace herself for whatever she was going to say next, and I should have done the same. I should have protected myself from her. But I was an idiot.
I was an idiot who didn’t even see it coming.
She turned her eyes back to me, and I hated what I saw there. I fucking hated it. “I’m not interested in anything more with you, Mason. I fuck. That’s it. I don’t date. I don’t have relationships. I tried to make that clear to you in the beginning. This”—she motioned between the two of us—“this was a mistake. We had no business being friends, and we sure as hell had no business fucking again if you couldn’t keep your feelings out of it.”
I stepped back as if she had struck me.
“I’m sorry if—”
“You’re not sorry,” I cut her off. “You’re a coward.”
Her mouth straightened into a hard line, but her chest rose and fell as if she was having a hard time breathing.
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” she said the words softly, but I didn’t believe any of it.
“Save it, Staci.” I strapped my helmet on and moved back onto my motorcycle. Everything inside of me was telling me not to leave, but I wouldn’t allow Staci Johnson to drain even one more ounce of my pride. “I get it,” I said the words over the rumble of my bike. “You let me fall in love with you only to truly fuck me in the end.”
Her hand reached out, only minutely as pain fill her face, but I wasn’t going to stand around and watch it. I wasn’t going to let her drag me back in to only kick me out again. So, I kicked up the kickstand, and I rode away from her. I didn’t dare look back because I knew that I was too weak when it came to her. And this was exactly why I shouldn’t let myself do this.
I broke my own rules, and I could only blame myself.
Staci
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t fucking breathe.
I sank down to the floor as soon as I managed to close the door, and I buried my face in my hands. I was such a damn idiot.
Mason was right. I was a coward.
But God, I panicked.
I panicked and pushed him away before I could even let the thought run through me. It was what I did. I pushed people away. I usually never let them get close enough to hurt me, but I had fucked up with Mason.
I knew from day one that we would hurt each other, that I would hurt him, but I was a fool. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I had let my guard down around a guy, and it was a mistake.
Mason was too much. He was too powerful. Too potent.
I didn’t stand a chance, and Mason deserved more than what I could give him.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see my dad’s name light up on the screen. I took a deep breath, as deep as I could, and pressed answer.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Staci, it isn’t looking good, doll.”
I winced and rubbed my face. “What did the lawyer say?”
“You’re going to have to come back. She said that Ben is asking for mediation.”
“I’m not doing mediation with him. Why can’t she just go to court and be done with it?” I let my head slam back against the wall.
“Because if you don’t agree to mediation, then he’s going to try to take the house.” My dad’s voice was soft, wary.