My dad had offered to come with me, but I refused. I needed to do this on my own. I needed to face him regardless of how badly I didn’t want to. Regardless of how badly he had hurt me.
He stood as my lawyer and I walked into the room, and I avoided looking in his eyes. He looked the same as he had the day I left. His light brown hair styled back out of his face and not a single hair out of place. It never had been. He was wearing a pair of khaki pants with a light blue button-up shirt. A light blue that I knew were bringing out the ocean blue of his eyes.
His cologne hit me as I reached the large table, and I closed my eyes and tried to force out all the memories that were flooding me. Memories that I hadn’t thought about in a very long time. Memories that I refused to allow me to feel weak again.
“Mrs. Callen.” Ben’s lawyer nodded his head to my lawyer before turning to me. “Mrs. Howell, please have a seat.”
My lawyer started to sit, but I didn’t.
“My name is not Mrs. Howell.” I stared at him. “I am Ms. Johnson.”
“With all due respect, ma’am, you are still married to Mr. Howell, and as such, your name is still legally Mrs. Howell.”
“With all due respect, sir.” He reared back at the venom in my voice. “I am Ms. Johnson. My legal name has been changed to Ms. Johnson. If you would like me to stay for this mediation, you will refer to me as such.”
Ben’s soft chuckle was like fingernails down a chalkboard.
I finally looked at him, really looked at him, and I didn’t know why I expected to see anything different. But the man staring back at me with a smirk on his face was the same exact monster I had left three years ago.
I pulled my gaze from his and took a seat at the table as far from him as I could. My lawyer’s hand touched mine under the table, a silent sign of her support, before she began.
“You all have asked us here for mediation in agreement that you will no longer go after her father’s home.” His lawyer nodded his head in agreement. “So, please inform us what exactly you have asked us here for. Mr. Howell already has the home that they once shared along with their vehicles and all of their belongings. When Ms. Johnson left, she didn’t take anything that belonged to him.”
Ben scoffed, but I refused to look at him again.
“Mr. Howell would like to discuss the terms of the divorce. My client feels that he and Mrs.”—he cleared his throat and corrected himself—“Ms. Johnson didn’t give their marriage a fair chance. He would like Ms. Johnson to consider counseling before going forward with the divorce. Otherwise, he will refuse to sign the papers without going to court.”
I clenched my hands into fists and counted to ten. “Can Mr. Howell and I have a moment alone?”
My lawyer looked at me with shocked eyes. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“I’m positive.” I looked at Ben, and he was leaned back in his chair completely relaxed.
“I’ll be right outside the door.”
I nodded my head to her but didn’t take my eyes off him.
When the door clicked shut behind me, he finally opened his mouth.
“It’s nice to finally see you, love.” He leaned forward, and I cringed that he was even an inch closer to me. “Although, I could have done without all the trashy tattoos but you can always cover those with clothing.”
“You have lost your damn mind if you for one second think that I would be willing to even consider giving this another chance.”
He tsked, something I absolutely hated about him, and smiled at me.
“You don’t have too much of a choice. You can either agree to counseling or I will drag your ass through court. I know that your daddy’s old house is in your name, and I know that you probably have assets wherever the hell you’ve been.”
But he was wrong.
It was the reason I didn’t own my own house. It was also the reason I turned Parker down when he offered to allow me to own a third of Forbidden Ink.
Because I knew that Ben would try to ruin everything.
But I refused to let him know that. I refused to let him know how much he affected every decision I made.
“You won’t.”
Ben laughed, a laugh that I fucking hated, and placed both of his hands on the table between us.
“You don’t think I would do it? You don’t think I would take your dad’s house right out from under him? You don’t think I would take everything away from you?”
“You’ve done it before.”
He grinned. “And I will do it again.”
I leaned down and pulled an envelope out of my purse. I hadn’t looked at it in over two years, but I knew every detail of what laid inside.
Every inch of it was burned into my brain.
I pulled the pictures out one by one and laid them in front of him.
He didn’t say a word as I set them down. He just stared at them with fury in his eyes, but he didn’t know fury. He hadn’t even begun to taste the amount of rage I felt toward him.
I pressed the last picture against the table then I folded my hands in front of me.
“If you even try to take me to court, I will bring every one of these with me.” His eyes bounced up to mine. “These pictures.” I pointed down at the images of my body covered in bruises. “These are only the last time. I have plenty other pictures where these came from.” I didn’t, but he didn’t need to know that. This was the only time I had gone to the hospital. It was the only time I had gathered my courage and my hate and decided to leave.
“You can’t prove that I did that.” He looked up at me, and every ounce of hate that I had for him boiled up inside of me.
“I will blast this everywhere, Ben.” His eyes narrowed at me. “How do you think the other men at your firm will feel about this? How will your parents feel about it?”
He didn’t say a word. He just stared.
“I won’t stop until I’ve ruined you. If you want to play this game with me, then we’ll play it. I’m not the girl in these pictures anymore.” I pushed one closer to him so he could see it, so he could be reminded of the pain he had caused. “If you refuse to sign those papers today, you will regret it.”
“And if I do sign them?” His throat bobbed, and I knew that I had him by the balls.
“Then these pictures will go back to where I’ve had them all these years. You’ll never see me again, and I will never hear from you again. You sure as hell will not go to my father’s house looking for me. This will be over.”
He swallowed hard, swallowing the words I was sure he was dying to spew at me, then nodded his head.
I looked behind me and waved our lawyers to come back in. When they did, Ben’s lawyer stopped mid-stride as he looked at the images that still rested on the table.
“Mr. Howell?” His voice was low and questioning.
“We’re both prepared to sign the divorce papers today.” His gaze flew to me. “I’m happy that you both demanded we attend mediation. Aren’t you, Ben?”
But that motherfucker refused to look at me again, and I decided that I no longer cared. Once I left this room, I was leaving all of this behind me. Him, the ghost that haunted me, and every ounce of pain that had held me hostage over the last three years.