Freddy groaned, then started laughing as he wrapped Leah into a hug. “Santa called and said he wouldn’t be here for a couple more hours. Go back to sleep.”
“Nuh-uh. I don’t believe you. You just want to go back to sleep.” Leah giggled when her pa started tickling her.
Envying Leah, Ginny held back at the door self-consciously.
Freddy looked up, seeing her, and patted the bed next to Leah.
At the invitation, Ginny laughingly ran toward the bed.
“Why didn’t you come in with Leah?”
“I didn’t want to get in trouble for not knocking.” Squirming from Freddy’s tickling fingers, she nearly toppled off the bed. With a quick reflex Freddy caught her, scooting over so she had more room.
“Daughter, family doesn’t haven’t to knock; all you have to do is open the door.”
As the memory replayed in her memory, she dropped her hand to the doorknob, her anger turning into despair. She missed her brothers. They might not be related by blood, but they were as much a part of her as Trudy.
Turning the knob, the door easily swung open.
Tears rose to her eyes at what she saw waiting for her on the other side of the door. All her brothers were lined up, waiting for her in the living room, except for Silas, who was sitting on the bricks of the large fireplace, his face buried in his hands.
She walked over the threshold, and he lifted his head. His haggard expression showed how difficult it had been for him to remain inside the house.
“Why, Silas?”
Standing, his face revealed how much he had missed her and the pain it had cost him. “The door was always open for you; all you had to do was come inside. There were never any locked doors between us and you. The only thing keeping you out was you doubting our love. How many doorways have you walked through without waiting for the door to be opened to you? Yet, with your own, you used it to keep yourself apart from us.”
The truth stung. Feeling guilty, she moved her eyes away from him to the long line where her other brothers stood. Their love and affection were apparent, making her heart clench. She didn’t deserve them. She never had.
The love and acceptance they gave her was built on lies and misconceptions. Freddy had died with the secret that he wasn’t her father; he’d only confided in Silas, leaving her other brothers in the dark. Silas had sworn never to disclose the secret, and as far as she knew, he had kept his word.
The fact that her relationships with her other brothers was built on a foundation of misconception laid heavily on her conscience. Not only had she allowed them to keep believing the falsehood that she was their biological sister, she was responsible for them losing the sister who rightfully belonged in her place.
“Leah is dead because of me. I should have been the one—”
“I’m the only one responsible for Pa and Leah’s death.” Silas’s rugged features turned stern at her words. “I’m the one who gave him the money for the ATV and I forgot the helmets. No one regrets that day more than me. I told you then that the accident was never your fault, and I didn’t want to hear you blaming yourself. I still don’t.”
Listening to Silas shoulder the blame wasn’t something she could do. “You were watching us while Pa had you going back and forth to get situated in the van. None of us made that day easy for you. We were running around the shop, trying to get on all the ATVs. It was mayhem. You and Pa should have gone alone.”
“Then it was my fault because I was the one who begged for us to go with them,” Jacob spoke up from the end of the line.
Hurt that the blame was getting passed around, she placed the guilt directly where it belonged. “I was the one who let Leah have my turn.”
The men before her were no longer young boys, having grown into adults without Leah, who deserved to be there with them. It haunted her that when Freddy allowed her into his family, his kindness to her resulted in the death of one of his own.
“Ginny …” Moses tilted his head to one side then spoke for the men beside him. “It wasn’t a choice of Leah or you. It could have easily happened after you had your turn or when I rode with him. Only one person is responsible for Leah’s death and that was Pa. He didn’t wait for Silas to come back, even though Silas had warned him to. He was our father, but he wasn’t without his faults. Silas was more of a father figure to us, and that was even before Dad died.”
A lone tear ran down out of the corner of her eye. “He was so happy that day.”
“Yes, he was. We have to remember him and Leah that way,” Silas told her. “We weren’t given a choice. There is no reasoning for death. Death comes for whom he’s meant to take, and it wasn’t for you. Do you think we would have hurt any less if it was you instead of Leah? You know how sweet and loving Leah was; don’t you think, if the positions were reversed, that she would be saying the same thing, wishing it were her?”
Ginny felt her lips tremble. Leah’s final words to her were etched into her memory.
“You’re the best sister in the world. I love you.”
Leah died believing they were sisters. She had deserved the truth, just like the rest of her brothers did.
“There is something I need to tell you.” Another tear ran down her cheek. Admitting she wasn’t their sister was the hardest thing she ever had to do, and that included standing beside Freddy’s and Leah’s graves as they were lowered into the ground. “I’m not—”
“There is no one in this family more important than the other,” Silas cut her off. “Dad taught us from the time we were old enough to sit in a highchair that I works alone, but when you put it together with others, it’s strong enough to move mountains.”
“I remember. Dad bragged he had enough children that he could move any mountain he wanted.” Ginny repeated the boast she had heard a thousand times before his death. “He loved being a father ….” She broke off, understanding what Silas was trying to tell her. If she told her brothers that she wasn’t their sister, she was disrespecting their father’s memory by taking away one of the things he was most proud of—his children. While she might not be his blood daughter, Dad had claimed her as his, and that was good enough for Silas. It had to be good enough for her too.
Ginny felt a weight fall off her shoulders. Her dad had selflessly sewn her into the fabric of their lives, showing her the love and protectiveness he had showered over each and every one of them. She couldn’t recklessly rip apart what he had stitched together.
“He was the best.” Silas pulled her into a bear hug, and Ginny laid her head on his shoulder.
“Being a good man runs in the family.” She reached up to hug him back. “I’ve missed you, Silas.” Raising her head, she lowered one arm to motion to her other brothers. “I’ve missed all of you.”
Ginny gave a squeak when she found herself swallowed in a huddle with her brothers. Isaac was the first one to jokingly pull away.
“You gained some weight since I saw you last.”
Ginny glared at him for his brotherly teasing. “No, I haven’t.”
Jacob grinned wickedly. “Looks that way to me too.”
Her youngest brother, Fynn, shouldered his way under the older ones. “Does this mean I can cash the Christmas and birthdays checks she sent me?”