“I’ll send a couple of extras.”
Viper looked toward the building. “Maybe I should wait for Silas to say it’s okay ….”
“He told me you’d be coming; that’s why I went ahead and made the jelly.”
“How did he know?”
Ginny gave him a wry smile. “Could have been the ten texts you sent him yesterday asking. He would’ve suggested you come yesterday, but Gavin was out with Jody, and Jacob and wasn’t here. Go … Viper, it really will be all right.”
Seeking reassurance one final time, Viper nodded before heading toward the outbuilding.
Ginny watched as Viper headed inside as she hung another sheet. Ignoring the rest of the basket, she then walked over to the old fort. From there, she could hear what was said inside and remain out of sight from the building.
She and Leah had learned that sneaky tactic when the shop had been Freddy’s. They would listen and giggle every time their dad became angry and frustrated with a project he was working on and the litany of curses that he would never say around their young ears.
“How have you been?” Ginny heard Viper ask stiltedly.
“Better.” Gavin’s voice was just as constrained as Viper’s.
Ginny nervously twisted her hands at the silence.
“What are you doing?” Viper asked.
“Matthew has been teaching me how to work his forge. They went to Louisville to buy some brass. I’m making space for them to put it.”
“You look good,” Viper complimented.
“I feel good. Better than I felt in a long time. Working with Matthew and Isaac has me exhausted enough to sleep through the nights.”
“You like it here.”
“I do.”
“You don’t want to come back to the club, do you? Why are you so determined to cut us out of your life?”
Ginny felt tears building behind her eyes at the aching pain apparent in Viper’s voice.
“I don’t deserve to be in your lives.”
The raw emotions in Gavin’s had her wanting to go to him, yet she knew the brothers needed to hash out their problems, and they couldn’t do it in her presence.
“I keep screwing up,” Gavin added.
“The only thing you screwed up was how you planned to take your life. How were we supposed to go on without you?”
“I thought you and the others would have been better off without me, like you were when Slate had me. It’s only when I’m around that I fuck things up.”
“Gavin, that’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? Didn’t Knox tell you what I told him about Slate? Slate was a confidential informant. Crash taped Memphis being killed. You want to know the fucking hilarious part? Before he told me, I was determined to throw us both off that cliff. Afterward, I was so furious at what he told me that I was going to scare him, then drive him to town so he could recant what he told them. I would have done anything he wanted … He would have won. When Silas showed up, he jerked out of my hands and fell.”
“Silas said you almost went over with him, that one of Moses’ dogs saved you. That … the … one?”
Ginny had to wipe the tears from her cheeks as Viper struggled to get the words out.
“Yes. Her name is Suki. Moses gave her to me.”
“Knox told me. We’ll handle the FBI and the blowback together when it comes. I’ve prepared the brothers. We’re ready. The Last Riders would have never given Slate the opportunity to recant his testimony. We knew he was a confidential informant and had gone into witness protection before he slipped away from them. We were on marked time then, and none of us cared. The brothers were drawing straws as to who would be the lucky bastard to get him and then get to turn themselves into Knox.”
“Who won?”
“Razer. He said it was lighter sentence than staying home with the twins.”
Ginny had to put a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.
“I tried to turn myself in, but Knox wouldn’t let me,” Gavin said. “He said wait and play it by ear until the FBI comes knocking on the doors with arrest warrants.” There was a pause before Gavin said, “I’m sorry, Viper.”
Ginny didn’t hear a response from Viper. It took a minute for her to realize that Viper was hugging Gavin. Ginny was tempted to sneak to the window but stayed still. The brothers deserved their privacy, as she much as she wanted to see what was taking place.
“I love you, Gavin. Please don’t put me through that hell again … I’m ….”
Ginny couldn’t hold the tears back any longer when Viper’s voice cracked.
“I can’t lose you twice in a lifetime. I like to think I’m a strong man, but losing you would break me.”
“I have my head on straight now … or I’m getting there. I’m not trying to cut you and the brothers out of my life. It’s just easier to talk to Silas—”
“And Greer? He said you and he have been hanging out on Friday nights.”
“They help me feel … normal. I was planning on coming tomorrow and apologizing to the brothers, tell them I’ve been a dumb shit to them.”
“Most of them are dumb shits, too, and have fucked up just as bad. Do you know what your biggest failing is, Reaper?”
Ginny bit her lip at Viper’s question, afraid Gavin would be hurt by whatever negative comment Viper was about to say.
“You always expect too much out of yourself. I never doubted your ability to get the jobs done, but each time I tried to take some of the load off, you piled more crap on. You were running yourself ragged, scouting out locations for the new factory, getting investors, keeping Taylor happy, dealing with the brothers … Fuck, that’s only half of the responsibilities you saddled yourself with. The more weight I tried to ease off you, the more you resented me. You had nothing to prove to me. It was you who you wanted to prove yourself to.”
“I was trying to live up to the man—”
Ginny had to hold back a sob as she listened to Gavin’s voice crack just like Viper’s.
“—I loved and respected more than any other, and I lost myself before Slate kidnapped me.”
The embarrassed laughter coming a few seconds later after the silence, Ginny took to mean they had hugged their differences out.
“You want me to come and give you a ride to the club tomorrow?”
“Yes. I won’t be staying, at least for a while. I asked Silas if it was cool if I stayed here until I get my head on straighter.”
“Having visits is better than not having you at all, even though you need to be prepared for them to shove your presents down your throat.”
Gavin’s laughter was music to her ears.
“I remember the last time I heard you laugh. You and Evie were joking around. Do you remember it?”
“No.”
“I do. I missed your laughter, Gavin. The only thing I’ve ever wanted for you was to be able to smile again. Brother, I would have given every dime and everything I possessed to see one from you.”
“Do you know when I realized I couldn’t kill myself?” Gavin’s voice was so muffled that Ginny could barely hear him, and she realized they were hugging again.