“A gig?” she asked. “An audition?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Good luck.”
When I left the apartment, I ran to my car.
My heart slammed inside my chest.
I looked around as I got into the car.
The entire time I drove, I checked the mirrors.
I did my best to convince myself to calm down, but there was no calming down.
I should have been used to it by now.
It was the same old thing… happened from time to time…
There was only one place I could go.
Jess didn’t live in the nicest part of the city, but not many actually did.
I parked outside her building and hoped my car would survive overnight.
It was a risk worth taking.
I pressed the buzzer over and over for Jess’s apartment.
She was on the second floor.
There was no answer.
I ran out of the building and texted her.
Outside ur building - answer me
I looked up to her apartment and she opened the window a few seconds later.
“It’s broken,” she called down to me.
I had my bag over my shoulder. “I need a place to crash tonight.”
“Sure thing,” she yelled.
I went back into the building and up to her apartment.
Jess had the door open and stood in the doorway with her arms crossed.
“Did it happen again?” she asked me.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Shit,” she said. “Just stay here for the night. Or as long as you need.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “Just as long as me or Valerie don’t end up hurt.”
“Please don’t ever say that again,” I said.
I went into her apartment and felt like I could cry.
My past would never leave me alone.
And truthfully… it was all Reed’s fault.
3
REED
“Okay, let’s get this shot right here… we’ve got a police helicopter coming over… this is good stuff, guys.”
Guys.
I shook my head.
Some fucking skinny dude with a big camera, calling us guys.
Like we were best friends.
There was an entire crew on top of the roof with us.
The skinny dude taking pictures.
A woman filming us.
A sound guy.
Another woman who handled the lighting.
Then, of course, there was Toby.
Standing in the back of it all, arms crossed, looking like he knew what he was doing back there.
Maybe he did know what was going on.
Maybe not.
We all sat on old chairs and flipped over metal drums, giving us the look that we were just some gritty, street band trying to make things happen.
This was all for a promo shoot and interview.
Another little poke from the record company to keep our exposure up.
This was going to be printed everywhere though.
And everywhere online too.
I sat with my bass and slapped my right hand down to the strings, my left hand running through some old FILTHY LINE riffs. I worked on some new ones too.
Dex and Jay were next to each other, guitars in hand, jamming out.
Sab sat in a piece of shit recliner with chunks of yellow cushion pushing out of the ripped cloth like a cut wound. He had his right foot up on the arm of the chair, knee sticking through his ripped jeans, drumsticks in hand, staring up at the sky with a grin on his face.
That was fitting for him.
Always living in the fucking clouds.
Dreaming of that someone who would fucking tear him apart and probably ruin the band.
Nash sat on a tall stool, hands around a mic stand, pulling it toward his shoulder, staring forward.
“Let’s get this done,” the camera dude yelled.
The camera clicked two thousand times.
The woman filmed us, walking around, getting all the angles.
It was weird to just sit there like that.
Knowing that in the editing stage, they’d throw our songs in the background of it all.
The police helicopter flew overhead.
“That was fucking perfect,” the camera guy yelled. “Fuck yes. Fucking perfect.”
He scurried back to Toby to show him what he had gotten shots of.
I stood up and turned to face the woman with the camera, filming us.
“That thing still on?” I asked her.
“Maybe,” she said. She looked at me. Her eyes were almost honey color. She smirked. “Anything you want to say to the world?”
I put my hand out and covered the lens. “How about you and I do something worth filming? I’ll make you the richest groupie by the end of the week.”
She held up her left hand to show off a nice, big diamond.
I laughed.
I nodded to the camera guy. “Him?”
“No,” she said. “Never him.”
“You think a diamond ring is going to stop me, honey?” I asked.
“It’s going to stop me,” she said.
She turned off the camera.
“Commitments are like fast food… the idea is great. Fun to do. But then a few hours later your stomach starts bothering you. Next thing you know, you realize the food was just a rental… you know?”
“No, that made no sense at all,” she said.
“You know, it’s not cheating if you fuck a rock star,” I said. “That’s a rule.”
“Whose rule?”
“My rule,” I said.
The woman pulled her camera away and walked back to Toby.
“That was smooth,” Nash said to me.
I turned and took my bass off. “Whatever. Tonight, when her fiancé is stuffing his little peanut between her legs, she’ll think of me.”
“You’re a sick guy, Reed,” Sab said.
“When is this shit over?” Dex asked. “A rooftop is boring without some action.”
“Fuck that,” Jay said. “You just want to bail to go hang with Candice.”
“So?” Dex asked. “I’m helping her get her new place set up. You’re all going to be there for the grand opening too. We’re going to blow every other place out of the water.”
“Strippers,” Sab said. “Bring strippers.”
“To a cafe?” Nash asked.
“Frappuccino and tits,” Jay said. “Yeah, I’d hang there…”
“Of course you would,” Nash said.
“Hey, bro,” Sab said to Jay. “Imagine if they got the women to squirt milk into the Frappuccino…”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Nash asked.
“There’s women who can produce milk all the time,” Sab said. “It’s a true thing.”
“Wow,” Nash said.
“Don’t be jealous, bro,” Jay said. “Does Liv squirt milk?”
“If you ever ask if Liv squirts anything ever again, I’ll throw you off this roof,” Nash said.
He stood up and walked away.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess he’s not a fan of milk.”
“Maybe he’s lactose intolerant,” Dex said.
“Not me,” Jay said. He squeezed the air with his hands and laughed.