She looks back up at me. “A lot of what I overheard made me feel the same as you do, Tobias—like we’re doomed. But when I heard Mom say that, regardless of DNA, the man he showed you he was today, he has my vote, hope came back. And then Dad asked her again, and she said something about being one hundred and ten percent positive on this because—and I remember this exactly, Tobias, because I was ready to bust into that room and tackle-hug them—I’m not taking away her chance with someone who may love her like you love me. So, I’ll wait for you to figure out what you need to do to be happy, even if it’s not being with me. And I’m not talking about sex, Tobias; that’s just like the busted cherry on top of the love sundae.” She lets go of my hand and covers her yawn.
I put my hand behind her and pull her into a hug, and she looks up at me with hope.
“I’m not promising you we can get through this.”
“Just promise me you’ll try.”
I let my head drop back so it’s resting on the couch as I stare at the ceiling, trying to find a way to not hurt her, make her cry, or put any sort of spark to her short-ass fuse. Nothing, not anything, comes to mind.
I thought her folks would put an end to it, but her father is calling and stopping by to leave food, that may or may not be trying to poison me, and her mom has apparently forgiven me, and I have no reason to doubt it, because the little t to my big T doesn’t seem to be able to filter her mouth, her feelings, her temper, or her truths, no matter how hard they are to hear.
I look back down as she fights to keep her eyes open and whisper, “Yeah, I promise, as long as you promise me some things.”
Smiling cautiously, she nods.
“You’re never going to tell me you’re going to fuck another man again, even if it’s twenty years down the road and we run into each other while you’re pushing a baby carriage with twins in it, have a toddler on your hip, and another one walking beside you. And if I ask you if you’re a virgin, I’m not wanting you to tell me the truth.”
She smirks, and her nose scrunches up.
“I’m serious, Truth. The thought of anyone touching you pisses me off more than someone busting my rib in a fight.”
“So, I should say my lesbian partner and I adopted kids?”
I think about it for a moment then look back at her. “I’ve never wanted to hit a woman before, and I just kicked the ass of a figment of your imagination, so that’s a no.”
She pulls our linked hands up to her lips and presses them against my hand. “Fine, but you better not even bang a sheep.”
I find myself smiling for the first time in days. “Fine. I need you to promise that you’ll be chill, give me space, and we take shit slow, like grade three slow.”
She laughs.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” She shakes her head.
I squeeze her hand. “What’s your name?”
“Fine, I got my first kiss on the monkey bars in third grade.”
“No, you didn’t.”
She shakes her head. “Yes, I did. His bubble gum got stuck in my—”
“You’re not hearing me, Tiny T. No, you didn’t.”
“So I’m lying now?”
“Just about shit like that.”
“Well, then don’t ever ask me about seventh grade.”
“Truth …” I shake my head.
“Totally avoid my entire freshmen year, too.”
“How about you stop instigating me and—”
“I think you’re incredibly hot when you’re pissed.”
I lean forward and press my forehead to hers. “And I’m not joking when I tell you there is no one as beautiful as you.”
She leans back and looks me in the eyes, narrowing hers then looking away.
“You good?”
She shrugs.
“You don’t think I see you?”
She nods. “Yeah, of course.”
When I get that she’s insecure, and get that I probably made her that way, I want to take it away.
Lifting her chin, I look her in the eyes. “Saw you at Frank’s buying rings with your cousin, and I thought that I’d never seen someone so damn perfect.” I lean in and rub my lips across hers, then whisper against them, “Found out you were too good to be true. Found out who you were and why I couldn’t ever kiss the lips of that one girl whose green eyes would probably haunt me forever.”
I brush my lips across hers again, slower this time, terrified I will fuck this up, knowing I have so much shit to figure out, but I leave them against hers and tell her, “When I saw you at my house, I swore you were sent as a way to show me what I’ll never have because of the shit I’ve done.”
I rub them across her lips, her cheeks, against the soft, tender skin below her ear. “At the fight, I saw you looking at me like you owned me and was pissed at how cruel the Universe was for tempting me with forbidden fruit.” I suck the tiniest part of her earlobe into my mouth then release it. “Had to pull you out of the crowd, save you from busting your ass at school. Thought maybe this was my penance for the shit I’ve done, shit I am still involved in and need to see my way out of, to be who I need to be for me so that, hopefully, I can one day be who I need to be for someone like you.”
She moves her head and gives me questioning eyes but doesn’t move her lips, now on mine, one bit.
“Fuck,” I whisper against them then pull back.
She grips my shirt to stop me then closes her eyes tightly.
“What are you thinking, Truth?”
“That I want you to be all the things you want to be so you never doubt who I already feel in my heart you are. That I want you to kiss me.”
I cup her chin, lean in, and press my lips against hers as I feel hers quiver against mine. I use every ounce of restraint I have to give the only girl who has ever given me words as sweet and true as she just did the respect she deserves.
I press lightly once, twice, three times, and then I force myself to pull back.
Her eyes flutter open like the wings of the butterflies she said she wanted me to give her back, and I vow to myself to do whatever I can to make that happen.
Chapter Twenty Six
Tobias
Her parents came in last night, and neither of us heard them. We had crashed from the stress of the emotional rollercoaster that we had been on for a month. Her legs bridged over my lap, head on my chest, my arm around her, apparently, we were out.
When I hear my microwave beep, I open one eye and see Cyrus standing in my kitchen, pulling food out of the microwave. And when he starts opening and closing drawers, I hear Truth whisper, “Uh-oh.” I look down at her and blow out a breath.
When I look back at Cyrus, he holds up the bowl of pasta that he had left on my doorstep. “You on a no carb thing or what?”
The bathroom door opens, and Tara comes out. She smiles at me and says, “Sorry, I had to use the—”
“It’s fine,” I say as I lift Truth’s legs up and slide out from under her. “No big deal.”
“Very clean.” She smiles.
She looks just like Truth. Well, Truth looks just like her, but curvier.