I blinked, looking between him and Michelle—and also Kyle. “Uh, yeah,” I said, the words hard to get out, “that’s fine.” As Calum stood and gathered what was left of his popcorn and pop, I poked Michelle’s arm, causing her to look at me. “Calum’s taking me home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Michelle gave me a smile. “Okay, have fun.” The way she said it, like she thought Calum and I were going to somehow hook up down the hall from Mom and Dad…yeah, right. I didn’t think so. Even if this date had gone well, that wouldn’t happen.
I wasn’t…I couldn’t…
I just couldn’t picture myself sleeping with someone who was basically a stranger, letting them in, allowing them to see me naked and bare.
I got up, ignoring her last statement, and followed Calum down the steps on the side of the theater. He tossed everything in the trash, leading the way.
The nighttime air was cool and crisp, and I let out a small shiver as we stepped out into the night. The moon hung high in the sky, almost full, its dark grey craters visible to the naked eye. A clear night, not a single cloud in the sky to block out the small stars sparkling in the dark expanse above.
I paused when I reached the side of the sidewalk, where it gave way to the dark pavement of the parking lot, my head turned up. Just a quick glance toward the sky.
For whatever reason, the night sky was beautiful. Calm and serene, nature in its entirety. I was lucky to live in a smaller city in the United States, where I could look up and see the night sky without smog or any other city lights blocking the view. Of course, the light from the movie theater behind me didn’t help, but there were no skyscrapers here. No factories spewing pollution into the air.
Looking up there, it made me wonder if we were alone. Such a big universe out there, all those other planets and solar systems and galaxies…surely there had to be more to life than Earth. Was there another girl out there, a girl like me, staring up at a similar sky, wondering the same thing?
Maybe it was stupid, but wondering that made me feel a little better. Like my problems weren’t really problems. Like I, in the end, didn’t really matter. Just a single human, a small flick of the candle that was the human race. Tiny and insignificant.
Calum’s voice broke through my thoughts, “You okay?”
I brought my head down, finding that he’d kept walking. Calum stood ten feet ahead, his hands in his hoodie’s pocket. He appeared like he desperately wanted this date to end, and I couldn’t blame him, so I said nothing, only nodding as I hurried to his side.
Thankfully, he turned up the volume on his radio during the drive to my house. I had to tell him what street it was on, and thankfully he knew where to go to get there from the theater. The only time I had to open my mouth again was to tell him which house was mine. He pulled into the driveway, his eyes nothing but shadows as I unbuckled my seatbelt.
I should probably say something, right? Thank him for buying my salad or whatever? I had a hand on the door handle, ready to push out and leave this night behind, but that tripped me up. Talk about awkward…
But then Calum did the weirdest thing: he stopped the engine, turned the car off. He beat me getting out of the car, and I sat there for a moment, wondering what the hell was going on. He didn’t think he was coming inside, did he?
Never thought I’d have to turn a guy down, but…
I got out of the car, steeling myself to do it. My footsteps were tiny as I headed to the front door. I had the house key in my pocket, ready to go, but I wouldn’t use it until he was gone.
Calum didn’t try to walk with me all the way to the front door. He stopped at the base of the front porch steps, watching as I headed up. When I realized that he wasn’t next to me, I stopped and turned around, meeting his eyes. We were almost the same height, thanks to me being on the steps, and even though this date was the worst date ever, I still felt my cheeks heating up a bit.
I wasn’t blind. I could appreciate a man’s attractiveness.
“I, uh…” Calum ran a hand through his blonde hair. Under the moonlight, it looked almost silver, it was such a light blonde hue. “Look.” He set a foot on the bottom step, but he did not come up near me. “I’m sorry I was kind of an ass tonight.”
“You weren’t—”
“I was,” he cut in, and I clamped my mouth shut, not wanting to argue with him there.
I shrugged. “It’s okay,” I said. “I wasn’t very nice tonight, either.” I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself an ass, but…I definitely could’ve tried harder, all around. Could’ve been better. I just didn’t see the point, since Calum so clearly wasn’t into it. There was no use pretending that there was nothing between us, just to make Michelle happy.
It was like he didn’t hear me, or he was too busy putting the blame on himself. “Kyle dragged me into tonight, and I resented him for it. You didn’t deserve tonight.”
At that, I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea what I deserved and what I didn’t; I’d long since stopped thinking like that. In this horrible world, few people ever got what they deserved, good or bad.
Calum grew quiet then, his eyes raking over me through the darkness. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, what was running through his head as he stared at me. I knew I was no model, I knew I was nothing at all like my younger sister, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was more like her, if my life would be better. If I wouldn’t be me.
Would Calum like me better if I was like her? Probably, and that thought made me sad.
What he said next I definitely wasn’t expecting: “Why don’t you let me make it up to you?”
At that, I could do nothing but blink and wonder if I’d heard him correctly. Was he really suggesting he and I go out again, after how awkward and weird tonight was? Just…why? Why bother? Why couldn’t we just forget tonight had ever happened and both move on with our lives?
I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest at the mere thought of going out with him again—this time without Michelle and Kyle nearby. My voice came out airy, soft and wispy like the wind could blow it away: “That’s okay. You don’t have to—” Whatever else I was going to say died in the back of my throat when I watched Calum step up onto the porch steps, inching closer to me with every step he took.
He stopped when he stood on the step right below the one I was one, once again taller than me. Only by a few inches now, but still. He had to be well over six feet tall to make me feel so small. “I want to,” he whispered. “Let me, Bree, please.”
That time, when he said my name, he didn’t sound annoyed that he was with me. He actually sounded genuine, like he really did want to make it up to me.
Or maybe that was just me hoping, wanting something I never had before.
“I’m not an asshole,” he went on, “I’ve just been going through some things, and I…you deserve to be taken out on a real date, not forced to go on some awkward double date with my brother and your sister. We’ll have fun, I promise.”
I had no idea why he thought he could promise something like that, why Calum believed that I would somehow have fun on any date with him, but I found I could not argue with him, either. All I could do was stand there and wonder why this was happening.