Because he cared for me.
He was here on this night, before his game, because he’d missed me.
Because he said he loved me.
Because I mattered.
They were all things I had known but in a different way. A very different way. And I had wanted this so badly, I had just never seriously hoped of thinking it was a possibility.
But of course it was. It should have always been. He could do a hell of a lot worse than me.
“Nah,” I told him, reaching across the console and booping him on the nose with my free hand even though it shook. “I believe you.”
And just as quickly as that subtle joy had risen inside of me, it went away.
Because I remembered.
I remembered what the hell had driven me to come all the way here. To spend two weeks looking at apartments. To have spent my Thanksgiving missing him. To have my favorite people badgering me in my sister’s kitchen.
My mood dropped just. Like. That.
I drew my hand back like he’d burned me, and his happy expression instantly disappeared. “What is it?”
Tucking my hand back beneath my leg, I told myself to be an adult and just… say it. “You’re being all nice and sweet to me and saying all this, and… and… it’s bullshit.”
“What’s bullshit?”
“This. What you’re saying.”
That blue-eyed gaze narrowed. “No, it’s not.”
I nodded a little sarcastically, a little mean. “Well, yeah, it kind of is.”
“Tell me why you think that.”
“Because… two, three weeks ago, you let some girl sit on your lap and push her titties in front of your face. If that’s how you think you’re supposed to love someone, then you’re doing something wrong. I know you said you’re new to it, but you’re not dumb.”
He blinked once. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did. I saw the picture, Zac.”
His forehead creased, and he was straight-up frowning as both of his hands held mine. That handsome Disney prince face was pulled into a deep frown, probably the deepest frown I’d ever seen on him. “No, I didn’t.”
He was denying it.
I eyed him, knowing in my bones that he wouldn’t lie. Not to me. Not over something like this. I knew it.
So what the hell did that mean? I knew what I’d seen. I hadn’t imagined that shit. I’d seen the date she posted it.
“I did no such thing, darlin’. I don’t even know what you’re talkin’ about. I haven’t had any girls anywhere near my lap in… I don’t know how long. Forever.” His frown got even more fierce. “Not since before you showed up. Longer than that.”
I wanted to frown at him or think this was bullshit or at least claim that it was, but… I knew this person. I knew him well. Better than anyone.
I looked at his face, at his handsome, perfect face, looking confused and worried, and that sharp edge of jealousy and anger wavered big-time.
“What picture are you talkin’ about?”
I held my breath a little. “This woman posted a picture of herself sitting on your lap.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. Some girl on Picturegram.”
He didn’t even seem to think about it. “Show me.”
I thought about it, pondered it and shook my head. “I didn’t save it or anything, old man. I’m not a masochist. It came out the day after your friends showed up. Trevor saw it too.”
He thought about it. “The day I went over to Amari’s? After we hung out with Aiden and Vanny?”
Went over to Amari’s? “Yes.” Yes to the time we hung out with Aiden, Vanessa, and their kids. But Amari’s?
Zac was still thinking about it even as he shook his head. “Bibi, we watched film at his place. I went to the store to buy some new underwear and went to his place right after. That’s why he called while we were with Van and the kids, to invite us over. I asked you, remember? His mom made us food. I was tired and passed out on the couch. His mom was the only woman there, and she’d probably slap me if I asked her to sit in my lap.”
I felt like an idiot.
“Whatever you saw, darlin’, it had to be an old picture. Is that what Trev called me rantin’ over? Tellin’ me I needed to get my head outta my ass before I ruined my life?” He reached forward and took my hand, his fingers big and strong around mine. “I swear it had to be an old one. These girls take pictures and hoard ’em for a while and randomly share them. Sometimes they’ll even ask for a picture, you’ll say yes, and then they’ll come and sit on your lap without askin’.”
I stared at him. He pressed his mouth together as his gaze bounced from one of my eyes to the other.
“Cross my heart,” he told me, his face serious. “You know I wouldn’t lie to you, don’t you?”
I stared at his face, at those blue-blue eyes for so long I was pretty sure he was squirming.
His fingers were warm around mine. “Bianca… I know I’ve done some things in the past I wish you didn’t know about, but I’m not like that anymore.”
Well, shit.
“Yeah, yeah. I know you wouldn’t lie to me. The picture just looked recent; that’s why I thought…. You’re always surrounded by girls, Zac. You used to go out all the time. It just seemed to make sense.”
“I used to, yeah, but I don’t want that anymore. Only one thing I want. One thing that makes me happier than a million other people combined,” he said. “I deleted all those numbers weeks ago. I changed my number so nobody would be callin’ in the first place. I didn’t wanna give you a reason to second-guess me. I want you to know I’m in this for real. None of that other shit has ever mattered. But you always have. Always will.”
I took a deep breath.
“It had to be an old picture, I promise,” he swore. “I know you believe me.”
I did, and maybe in a way, I should be glad that I knew so much about him. There weren’t secrets left between us. There wasn’t a reason to doubt this scary thing that seemed like it was pulled straight out of my dreams and dumped into my lap. Him loving me wasn’t new.
But this different kind of love was. Love 2.0. More like Love 5.0.
I had no reason to doubt it. Or him.
And I sure as hell wasn’t going to run.
Zac loved me. Me.
And… I was going to milk this shit for the rest of my life, if I could. Maybe I hadn’t been around the block like he had, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to terrorize him. Because I was. Because I could.
“I do,” I agreed. I lifted my chin and curled my fingers around his, ready for this. I’d been ready for this forever. “Just to make sure though, if some guy posts a picture of me sitting on his lap in a year, it’ll be an old one too, okay?”
His fingers jerked, and I just about laughed at the incredulous face he made. “What guy?”
“Some guy I don’t remember. I’ve met a lot of them, so….” I glanced at him with a smirk.
He wasn’t smiling.
But I was.
“You’re not funny.”
“I’m super funny.”
It was his turn to side-eye me. “You believe me then?”