“It’s not dumb,” my cousin muttered thoughtfully after a few moments, after a deep sigh that had him rubbing his forehead as he looked down at his lap.
“I’m sorry. I only kept it a secret because I’m embarrassed and know better,” I told him. “I love you, and you mean the world to me. I don’t want to mess anything up.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Connie’s gaze bouncing back and forth between Boogie and me. Richard was doing the same thing, still sipping that orange soda. None of us said a word for the longest time.
Until Boogie broke the silence with another sigh before lifting his head and looking at me with a small, wary smile on his face that told me everything was going to be okay. “You can’t help who you love sometimes, even if you know that maybe you shouldn’t or that maybe it’s going to hurt.”
Well, shit. I guess in a way I’d never thought about it like that with him. I still didn’t like his future wife, but….
“He is my best friend, but so are you, B. It’s a little fucking weird—it’s a lot fucking weird—but….” He sighed one more time. “You’re really fine?”
“I only hurt myself, promise.”
Because that was exactly what had happened. I’d hurt myself. I could admit it.
But I was going to fix it. I was going to be okay.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” my sister said a couple hours later right before striking out at me like a viper, going straight for my nipple like she was going to give it a twist.
It was more experience than instincts that had me karate chopping her hand out of the way and covering both my boobs with my hands.
She tried to go for me again, so I reached forward and pretended like I was going to do it back to her.
But I wouldn’t, because the one time I had done it, she had made sure to get me back twice as hard to teach me a lesson. Nothing was worth getting a titty twister, not even giving one.
“I was wondering what took you so long to ask,” I told her. I was still covering my nipples, and if anyone noticed, I didn’t really care. I’d been too busy reading a text Deepa had just sent me that I hadn’t been paying attention to Connie creeping over.
The message read:
DEEPA IS COOL: Did you hear they kicked Gunner out of the gym? Rumor is somebody bought him out.
I was going to have to celebrate that one later. It was too late to benefit me, but that jerk had it coming. It was about time the other owners noticed they couldn’t keep employees because of him.
Looking up, Connie leaned up against the counter of the bar at the bowling alley, because that was where we were celebrating my brother-in-law’s birthday. It had been his favorite thing to do for as long as I could remember. I used to go to his tournaments back in Fayetteville. I was just taking a break after our last game, and apparently so was my sister.
“I was waiting because I promised Richard I’d leave you alone.”
Aww, Richard. He’d told me he was sorry for blurting out my business on the drive over. Then he’d offered again to spread the rumor about Zac and steroids if I wanted.
“And I guess I was hoping my sister loved me enough to come give me all the details in person.”
I snorted and picked up my Sprite. “You really thought I was going to make it that easy?”
She sent me a flat look that had me smiling.
“And there’s nothing to tell, Con, so there’s nothing to share.”
“‘There’s nothing to tell’,” she mocked me using quotation fingers and everything. “Bullshit.”
“Not really, because nothing is going to come of it, so….”
“Punkin!” Richard shouted as he approached us from the lane he’d been bowling in while we took a break. “I thought you were going to wait to harass Peewee.”
“She just started talking on her own.”
My brother-in-law and I shot each other a look too, and we let it go.
“You’re really thinking about moving up here?”
I nodded.
Richard stopped beside my sister, draping an arm across her shoulders as he stole her beer. “You can stay with us however long you need.”
“I’m hopin’ to get her to come back to Houston,” a different but very familiar voice said.
My brain froze. My whole body froze. I wouldn’t be surprised if even my red blood cells did too.
And my heart went straight into my throat.
Straight there. Nonstop. Flying express.
I knew that voice.
Setting my Sprite on the counter, I took the beer from Richard, took a sip, handed it back, and then finally turned my chair around enough to see the man who hadn’t moved from where he’d been standing behind my chair while he’d spoken.
Because sure enough, there he was. Zac. Brown cowboy hat on, his usual jeans, and a T-shirt that stretched across his lean, muscular chest. Those big hands were on his hips and he…
Well, he was focused on me.
He looked tired.
“Snack Pack?” I asked like I didn’t know his face inside and out.
His smile was small but sweet. “Hi, darlin’.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” was the best I could come up with as I took in his exhausted features some more. “You have a game tomorrow,” I stated like he didn’t know that.
What was he doing?
He did this nonchalant little shrug like his game the next day, another game that represented his potential future, was no big thing. “I changed my cell phone number a little while ago. Wanted to come tell you face-to-face and give you the new one,” he explained slowly, looking me dead in the eye.
“What are you talking about?” I asked him before I could think twice about it. “Why did you change your number? You need to be home resting, you old fart, not… being here.” Because what the fuck was he doing here in the first place? And why did he change his number?
And why couldn’t he just text me and tell me he’d gotten a new one?
My comment had his smile cracking even bigger, into a full-grown, big, natural Zac smile that was basically my kryptonite. “Some things are more important than restin’, kiddo.” His eyes scanned my face slowly, his expression staying right where it was. That big palm of his came right up to the center of his chest, and he rubbed a circle right there as he said on an exhale, “I sure did miss you.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my sister smack Richard with the back of her hand on the upper arm.
And maybe I would’ve reacted if my heart didn’t feel like it had just gotten zapped with a defibrillator.
“I’ve missed you too,” I told him, struck by the way he was looking at me, like he really had missed me. A lot.
So much that all I wanted was a hug in that moment.
I hesitated for maybe a second before I slid off the stool and approached him, throwing my arms around his neck before he realized what I was doing. I hugged him tight. And in the time it took me to take a breath, to fill my lungs with the sweet, subtle scent of his cologne, his arms were around me, squeezing me tight and close, his cheek or his mouth pressing against the top of my head.
I’d swear on my life I heard him mutter, “Oh,” softly as his palm slid down the length of my spine, stopping only once it covered the small of my back.