Then I see a shadow behind him. Creeping along the hallway.
I want to reach for my gun, but I don’t have it.
If I had it, I might use it. And no matter what, that would not be how this night ended. So I didn’t bring it.
Donovan turns before I can say anything. Sees Indie walking up behind him.
Her eyes search his for a moment. Then she looks down to find mine.
There is an eternity of silence as I wait to see what she’ll do.
Will she kill him with a candlestick? Will she shoot him? And me? Did she already kill McKay and that’s why he’s not here?
How? How will she end this journey we’ve been on together for the last fourteen years?
But she doesn’t strike Donovan. She doesn’t pull out a gun and shoot me in the chest.
She starts to cry.
She begins to sob.
Donovan is reaching for her as I take the stairs three at a time. I crush against her, pushing her into the wall so I can wrap my arms around her, and press my body against her, and hold her captive.
So she cannot escape.
So no matter what, she will never get away from me again.
I love this girl. I have loved her from the very first moment I saw her wrapped up in hungry snake. And that’s when I realize… that sick fuck Gerald was right. I didn’t see it that night on the island. I saw the sickness inside everyone but myself that night.
She is special to me and it all started that night I freed her from that cage.
I will die for this girl. Whatever it takes to save her, I will do it.
Her knees buckle, but I hold her up. And Donovan backs off, hitting the wall and sliding down it like he can’t stay on his feet one more second.
“Shhhh,” I tell Indie. “Shhhh. It’s OK now. I promise. You’ll be OK.”
She’s shaking her head no. She might be small. She might be young. She might be missing huge chunks of her memory.
But she is not stupid.
There is no such thing as OK in her future.
There is no way to take back what happened on her birthday.
But I lie to her. I hold her and lie to her just the same. I don’t even care that I know it’s a lie. I will not give up hope.
I have one little secret in my back pocket that could help her. It won’t take away all the pain, but it won’t sting as much afterward, either.
I just need her to meet me half way. That’s all I need. That’s all I expect.
I back off a little and take her face in my hands. Lift her chin up so she has to see me when I tell my lies. “Listen to me. OK? Just listen to me for a moment. We can fix this, Indie. We put those walls back up, lock that fuckin’ gate, and keep all the snakes out for good.”
She’s still shaking her head no. “We can’t fix it. We can’t ever fix it.” Her eyes are filled with water, all glassy and red. I want to force her to stop talking. I want to force her to see it my way. But I can’t.
Everything is out of my control now.
“I made a deal with the snakes.” She sobs out the words. “But I never made a deal with the flowers, Adam. I forgot all about the fuckin’ flowers.”
Relief floods through me. She remembers. I don’t know how much, but it’s enough to set things right for a moment. I hold her face firmly and say, “Darlin’. You didn’t have to. Because I made that deal myself.”
Then I kiss her.
I kiss her on the mouth the same way she kissed me that day, right downstairs in the foyer. I kiss her like she’s mine. Like she’s ours. Like she is the only thing in the world that matters.
Donovan is on his feet, his arms around both of us. Then the front door slams and we all come apart like a fluff of dandelion seeds in a gusty wind.
McKay is there at the bottom of the stairs, holding up some book, sopping wet and out of breath as he tries to get words out. “Ours. She’s still ours and this proves it.”
He’s not wrong.
But he’s not exactly right, either.
I want him to be right. But this is all very complicated and messy. And what Indie needs right now is… simple. There is only one way to make it simple.
So I say, “No, McKay.”
“What do you mean?” He’s bounding up the stairs. “I’m telling you, she’s written it all down in here. It’s all fixable.”
Donovan guffaws and McKay, Indie, and I look at him as he leans against the wall. “Are you fucking insane?” But he’s looking specifically at McKay. “We can’t fix this shit! People are dead, McKay! Dead!”
“Who’s dead?”
I turn to look at Indie, my heart sinking into my stomach. “I thought you remembered?”
Donovan is shaking his head. “She doesn’t. And this is all so much fucking worse than you even know, Adam. Tell him, McKay. Tell him what she told us.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - McKAY
PRESENT DAY
Tell him what she told us.
Well… that’s easier said than done. I glance at Indie. I want nothing more in this fucking world than to take her into my room, put her in my bed, and keep her there forever.
But I can’t. We are here to deal with the situation.
“Indie. Can you please go to your room and let me talk with Donovan and Adam for a moment?”
She presses her lips together, rolling them inward a little as she squints at me. “Who’s dead?”
“We’re gonna go over all that,” I say. “But first, I need to talk to Adam and Donovan. I know you don’t have to follow my orders, but this isn’t an order. It’s just a request. Ten minutes, Indie. Can you just give us ten minutes? Please?”
She looks at Donovan. Then Adam. Then back at me.
“We gave you four years,” I add. “Four years, baby. You can find ten minutes for us. I know you can.”
She looks at Donovan. “Where will you guys be?”
“In here.” He points to his bedroom. “We’ll be right here. I promise.”
“And then you’ll tell me what’s going on? You’ll fill in all the blanks I have?”
We all trade uneasy glances.
Indie points to her journal, the one I’m still holding in my hand. “Are the answers in there, McKay?”
I shake my head. Not the ones she’s looking for. “We’re gonna tell you what we know. But I need to talk to them first. It’s very important that we do this right.”
“Something bad happened, didn’t it?” Her eyes are very sad right now. And for a moment I think… she’s gonna remember all on her own and then we won’t have to tell her the truth. But that’s the easy way out. And nothing is easy when it comes to Indie Anna Accorsi. Because the sadness in her eyes fades as I watch. They just go… empty. The way they were last night in the bathtub. “OK. I guess I can give you ten minutes.”
She turns away and walks to her door, looks back at us one last time, then opens it, and disappears inside.
Donovan is pushing Adam and me into his bedroom. He looks down the hallway real fast, then closes the door. Not all the way. He leaves it open a crack. And then he begins to whisper. “OK, listen to me, Adam. And don’t interrupt. Someone got to her when she was fifteen—”