My mood immediately threatens to sour but I force the gloominess back. You need to start fresh with Serenity, Lana. You can do this. She truly is my best chance at conquering my powers and understanding my role in this world.
I owe it to Gaia, my realm, and my men to take this seriously. Time to stop the catty drama and focus on what we came here to do.
As if conjured by her sister’s mention of her, Serenity pops into existence, rolling her neck from side to side.
“Hey!” Lilli calls out to her sister. “Did the duel go well?”
A genuine smile spreads across Serenity's face and, for a moment, I see the tender and kind side of her that likely raised her sister. Be nice.
“Hi, honey. Yes, it did. However, I have a small kink in my neck from trying out a new forward roll into a knife throw.” Her gaze shifts to me, morphing her expression into indifference as her eyes run over me. “Hey, Anal.”
Don’t fucking do it, Lana. Don’t let her rile you. Remember everything Lilli told you.
Swallowing down the insult that wants to spew from my mouth, I force myself to smile through gritted teeth. It probably looks like I’m constipated. At least I’m trying. “Good morning, Serenity.”
At my polite response, she does a double take and stares at me like I’ve grown multiple heads overnight. She ends her not-at-all-subtle examination of me before nodding, as if to herself. “You look good. Let’s get to work.”
Apparently, she’s willing to drop the attitude as well. Thank the Goddess.
Maybe it’s possible to get through this without strangling each other. It feels a little refreshing to drop the abrasiveness and to just trust in Gaia’s process. I highly doubt she would have sent me here without a reason. This is likely my best shot at saving my realm.
Time to grow up.
Serenity drops to the ground and crosses her legs, gesturing for me to do the same. Complying, I mirror her, dropping right in front of her. When I look up at her, there’s not a trace of anything other than professionalism there. She’s in full trainer mode.
“The first thing we need to discuss is how your power feels inside of you and where you hold it. As we’re a different subspecies, if you will, we vary slightly in where we hold our power and how we use it, I’m assuming. However, according to Gaia, I happen to be the closest comparison to you.”
I soak up the information she’s providing and admit, “I have no clue what my power feels like. Nothing has sparked inside of me and I’ve had no outward signs, besides a wound on my back healing really quickly.”
She takes a moment to process that. “Listen, Lana. The gifts we were given from the Goddess are a tremendous responsibility to hold. It is especially dangerous for you as you do not need incantations for yours to work. They are directly linked to your emotions and your thoughts, which is dangerous if you let them rule you.”
I don’t know what triggered that but the severity of her words sinks in. I need to learn to process my feelings in a calm, rational manner without lashing out or jumping to conclusions. “I understand.”
She cocks her head at me, regarding me. “Yes, I think you finally do. You already seem different. Let’s continue.” She holds her hands out, palm up, to me. I arch an eyebrow at her, unsure what she wants me to do.
Huffing at my inaction, she leans forward and yanks my hands from my lap into her grip. “I’m going to search and see if I can sense your power within you to try to guide you towards finding it for yourself. Please close your eyes and open yourself mentally. Let your walls down.”
I got a lot of fucking walls, girl. This might take some time.
Cracking my neck and rolling my shoulders, I settle in and do as she asked, attempting to find a neutral mental state. Thinking about my previous dislike for her, I let that wall crumble to the ground and feel a lightness overtake me.
“Good job. I’m going to probe now. Don’t freak out.”
I keep my eyes closed at her words, not wanting to break my trance, focusing on staying calm, even though I’m nervous as hell for her. The woman’s freaking probing my mind and body! At least buy a girl dinner first.
“Loosen up, Lana,” she says, a reprimand in her voice.
I force myself to relax.
A warmth spreads from my head to my neck and lands in my chest, where it expands outwards. I almost jump away at the discomforting sensation of her tugging around near my heart.
She sighs and lets go of my hands. I open my eyes to look at her. “The good news is that I found it. The bad news is that you’ve got that shit locked up like a damn prisoner in your own body.”
I frown. I didn’t do shit to my power. It locked itself up.
Lilli speaks up. “Maybe Gaia locked it up, knowing Lana was going to grow up in the human realm?”
I remember my brief conversation with Gaia. “She told me that I would need to be able to harness my powers enough to sense my realm. Once I cross over into it, my full powers and memories from my previous life will return. Maybe this is part of the process?”
Serenity shakes her head. “I don’t think this is Gaia locking the powers away since she’s coming into her true form. I think this is Lana subconsciously not wanting to face what happened in her first life.” She meets my eyes. “Perhaps your soul isn’t ready to face it and is protecting you.”
Damn, talk about baggage.
Not wanting to feel discouraged, I shrug. “Well, I’m willing to work on connecting with my powers for however long it takes to unlock enough to get to my realm.”
Approval crosses over Serenity’s face as Lilli smiles at my statement.
Serenity hums. “Maybe Gaia chose the right person for your realm after all. Perhaps I judged you incorrectly. Time will tell if you’ve changed.”
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Is she apologizing?
Before I can respond, she orders me to close my eyes, relax myself as before and to try to locate and connect with my power.
However long it takes.
Sweat drips down my face and I grow more frustrated with every failed attempt. Doubt is beginning to creep in. I’ve been here for hours. My head feels like it’s pounding and my body is stiff from sitting in the same position for so long.
I’m giving it my all but I just can’t make that connection. Every time I think I’m close, it slips out of my fingers and continues to evade me.
I’m trying, Gaia.
Lilli left shortly after Serenity ordered me to fall into a meditative state, saying she had errands to run. Meanwhile, Witch Bitch left to help out with the guys’ training, saying I needed to have room to focus alone.
Despondent and exhausted, I force myself up and stretch out the stiffness. I wander over to the weapons room where the guys are training and my eyes almost bug out at the scene before me.
All of my guys are shirtless, sweating, sporting huge grins, while holding a different color glowing orb of their power in their hands.
What the…
Leo’s is a burnt-orange, while Luke’s is sapphire, confirming our earlier thoughts that they’re fire and water. Typical twin shit. No biggie.
Zedd has white, while Hale’s is a green. Wind and earth, probably? That rounds out the four typical elements.
I try to make sense of the violet in Ash’s hand. What could that be?