I’m not quite sure how to approach that topic with them. How will they react? I just got them. I don’t want to lose them when they find out my part in their deaths.
Though they didn’t die at my hands, they might as well have. My ego and pride were the real culprits. What if they realize that the more things change, the more they stay the same?
I push those thoughts from my mind and focus on the post-orgasmic bliss. I smiled happily up at Leo. "I love you."
His eyes pop open, making me think back to what I said. Oh, fuck me! I didn’t realize I was thinking it, never mind that I was going to say it!
"I mean, uh … I love who you are as a—"
My lame attempt at covering up is cut off by his lips on mine. This kiss is much gentler than the last. He breaks it off to lean his forehead against mine. "I love you too."
"Hey, what about me?"
Luke’s playful tone makes Leo and I chuckle as I turn back around to the needy twin at hand.
I smirk up at him, deciding to goad him first. "I love what your hands can do."
He scoffs. "I mean, I know I have superior skills but really? You don't love anything else about me?"
I motion like I’m zipping my mouth and throwing away the key.
My move draws a full-on belly laugh out of him as he steps up to me, pressing our bodies flush together.
Placing his hand along my neck, right below my ear, he strokes the area with his thumb, smiling softly down at me. "I love you, Lana. Everything about you."
Cheekily smiling up at him, I finally relent like it’s a burden to admit it. "I love you too, Luke."
Hunger overtakes his face as my words register. Oooh, maybe I can get another orgasm out of this.
Luke turns me around to face the door and gives me a slight nudge. "Alright, we need to get our queen some food and wine.” With a playful smack on my ass, he calls, “Let's go!" before quickly following up with, "Don't tell Ash I did that."
We all laugh, trying to joke about the odd situation earlier but still I feel uneasy about what happened. It was so out of character.
I hope he’s gotten over whatever’s going on with him.
Chapter Nineteen
Zedd
A screech of the barstool against the floor brings my attention to my gorgeous mate as she plops into the seat at the kitchen island. Her hair’s a dark red in its current, wet state and she’s wearing a black silk pajama set that makes my cock twitch.
Slapping her hand against the granite countertop, she grins at me. “Feed me!”
Damn, she is so adorable.
Turning around to grab the pan, I bring it over to the plate in front of her and tip the fresh grilled cheese sandwich onto her plate.
Her eyes widened as she licks her lips. "Is there tomato soup?"
She bats her eyes at me and I scoff, as though offended. “As if I’d forget the most important part!”
Tomato soup and grilled cheese had been a staple in our house growing up. Beth used to make the best sandwiches, refusing to share her secret recipe, until I hounded her incessantly about it. She made me swear to never tell anyone that the secret was a ridiculous amount of butter that would clog up all of our arteries.
Chuckling at the memory of how I used to chase her asking for the recipe and she used to giggle while running away from me, I grab a bowl of the hot soup for Lana and return to her, placing it next to her plate. Part of me thinks she always intended on sharing the secret ingredient with me—she just enjoyed the game.
Lana squeals in delight but then falters, the smile leaving her face as she stares at the meal in front of her.
Seeing her face fall, I know where her mind has gone to.
Walking around the island, I stop at her side and pull her against me, holding her and waiting for the grief to pass, no words needed. While I was preparing dinner, the same emotions rushed through me so I know how she feels. It was my first time making the meal without Beth and it’s Lana’s first time eating without her.
“One day we’ll be able to smile at the memories, but for now, we need to allow ourselves to feel that pain and learn to lean on each other in those moments.”
Her shoulders heave as she takes a big breath and blows it out. "I'm good. Thank you, Zedd baby."
I fucking love her nickname for me. It makes my heart swell every damn time the words roll off of her tongue.
I squeeze her shoulder and drop a kiss at the top of her head. "No need to thank me. I am your mate after all." I head back to get the plates ready for the rest of the guys.
Out of my peripheral vision, I see Lana staring at me with such intense love in her eyes, that I struggle to not go back to her and confess my own undying love. It’s probably much too soon for that and I don’t want to rush anything. So instead, I allow myself to smile as I fix up the rest of the sandwiches.
Maybe this can work between all of us. I was doubtful at the beginning because of how diverse our personalities are and how differently we approach life. I know some of the guys are more jealous than the others but we all have our moments. I had a slight flare up when the twins had been so forward so early out of the gate but ever since, I’ve acclimated.
Ash's reaction earlier has me concerned, especially since I’m the only person who knows of what happened between us the night at the inn. There’s a darkness in him that he’s been hiding ever since. I see it rearing its head every now and then, threatening to destroy our fragile new relationship with Lana.
I assumed that we would be able to figure it out and control it before the others picked up on it but I’m starting to worry about the choice to keep it from them. He seems territorial of Lana and in training sessions, he’s been withdrawn from the rest of us. Even when we went out with Serenity’s mates, he was quieter than even Serenity’s quietest mate, which is saying something.
Granted he’s never been the most social butterfly and there’s nothing wrong with that. But this is something else. Something deeper. Something darker.
Taking a plate and a bowl of soup, I pad past Lana, smiling at her when she blows me a kiss. In the living area, I find Ash sprawled on his back on the sectional, one arm behind his head, the other over his eyes.
“Hey, are you hungry?” I hold up the food like a peace offering. “I made grilled cheese and tomato soup.”
He doesn’t even bother to open his eyes to look at me. "Nah, I'm good."
So that’s how this is going to be.
"You need to eat, Ash. Using our powers in training is taking a lot out of us. You need to be well-rested and healthy."
"Are you my mother now, Zedd? No, you aren't. She just died."
A loud crash comes from the kitchen and my little hellion comes flying around the corner like a bat out of hell. This is not going to be good.
"How fucking dare you!” she rages and I swear her eyes flash silver for a second. “She deserves to be spoken about with a lot more fucking love and respect than how you are currently.”
Wow, I really need to get some sleep.
She gestures at me. “Zedd is the only one around here that ever makes food and you damn well better thank him and eat the fucking food when he’s here personally offering!”