As I pull my body away from where we're still fused together, I try to control my panting breaths. I sound like I ran a marathon, though I virtually did nothing except moan and attempt to look sexy during it.
We all have our roles to play, right?
Collapsing onto my side, I glance up at Ash, still on his knees, looking down at me with an unidentifiable emotion in his gaze. Absentmindedly, I rub my ass where he spanked me, harder than I expected from any of my guys. The burning sensation still lingers.
He lies down next to me, pulling me into his chest. Ignoring the sweat dripping off of both of us, I snuggle in, soaking up the feeling of this moment that I will cherish for the rest of my life. It isn't how I pictured my first time but I wouldn't change a damn thing. Part of me is relieved that he didn't treat me like fragile glass, ready to shatter at the slightest of wrong moves. The pace of the whole thing didn't give me a second to overthink what we were doing—and definitely no time to relive old memories.
My soul sighs in bliss, slowly mending the remaining cracks in my heart from my past. This was perfect for me. For us.
He rubs my back lightly, making me want to purr like a damn house cat. I know we still have a truckload of shit to deal with but for the first time, I feel like we have a chance at getting things back to normal between our group.
We can make this work.
Tapping his chest with my finger, I ask, "Do you think you're ready to tell the guys about what's going on as well?"
Nervousness settles into my stomach at how they would react to his news and, even worse, the news that we slept together. I don't want anyone to be jealous or angry, especially with how Ash has been acting the past few days.
He still deserves to be loved; despite the demons he's warring with. I won't give up on him. We all have our issues to overcome.
He squeezes me closer to him, flattening me to him, before he answers, "No."
My eyebrows draw in. What the fuck?
Nibbling on my lower lip, I wonder how best to proceed, not wanting to rush him but knowing they deserve the truth. He needs to mend things with them, just as much as he does with me—especially Zedd. A pang of despair stings me at the thought of how he treated Zedd just hours ago.
I hedge. "You need to. They deserve to know what's going on, so they can support you as well."
"Oslana, they are not of my concern. You are of my concern."
Why the fuck does he keep calling me that?
I push away to look him in the eyes. "Dude, why do you keep calling me that? And they are most definitely your concern. You've been a complete ass to them, especially Zedd!"
His face turns stone cold and his eyes melt into the obsidian black. Oh fuck. Did they have specks of black that I didn't notice before?
Fear rushes through me. How am I supposed to handle this without violence? My energy reserves are still running low from everything I threw at him earlier and I'm not sure I even know how to call upon my powers like that again. It felt like instinct before.
A dark voice I barely recognize, and that is most definitely not Ash, has the hair on my arms standing up. "I call you Oslana because that is your name. I do not owe them any answers, for they are beneath me."
Pushing up, I come to stand next to the bed and look for clothes, suddenly not wanting to be on display. "We are one unit, Ash. One family. How can you say that about them?"
His cold eyes track me as I move to the dresser, pulling out flannel sleep pants and a tank top. I quickly step into the pants and pull over the shirt as he answers with a dismissive wave and a callousness that has me freezing. "They are not our family. You have no family besides me. I killed your parents and I will make sure to kill these roaches again. Pay them no mind."
Killed my parents?
Shivers wrack my body as ice seeps through my veins and my heart splinters at the man before me. This feels like a completely different person. I don't recognize any of my mate in those piercing black eyes.
My voice trembles. "Ash?"
One corner of his mouth quirks up, as deep violet flames flare up around his body, burning every part of the bed touching his skin. I take slow, hesitant steps to the bedroom door, not turning my back on him as he lounges in the bed with the flames licking at him. He looks like the Devil incarnate, grinning at me, as my heart pounds so fast and loud, it's all I can hear in my head.
"I'll forgive you for screaming his name this one time but next time, you'll be screaming mine. Your true mate's. Anshar."
This was who had control when I gave my body to him? No.
No.
My back slams into the door with a thud as my stomach churns with acid. Outwardly, I stand up straighter and steel my voice. "Where is Ash? Where is my mate?"
Don't show fear, Lana. He wants that. Fall apart later when you're safe.
The shit-eating grin drops from his face as he jumps to his feet. I fumble to get to the door, opening my mouth to scream for one of my mates, but a hand clamps over my mouth, slamming me into the door. His wet tongue darts out, licking the shell of my ear as his warm breath makes me shiver with disgust. "I am your mate. Did you not hear me the first time?"
He presses against my back, his rock-hard erection pressing firmly into me, showing me just how much he gets off on scaring me.
He took my virginity—no, don't think about it. Later.
Memories of Rafael threaten to rear their ugly head and I struggle to hold myself together as my mind begs to unravel. I can't fall apart in this man's hands.
I go lax, letting him feel my submission to lure him into a sense of complacency.
He purrs. "That's a good girl. Maybe you don't have as much fire in you as I thought. What a shame. I was looking forward to breaking you in." He hums. "No matter. I can find other ways to have fun with you."
Resisting the urge to flee, I use every ounce of willpower to relax my body, biding my time for a moment to escape, knowing it will come eventually. I breathe hard against his hand, looking inside for my magic, needing to connect to it now more than ever.
Please, Gaia. Help me.
A small wisp of teal floats around my soul and I yank on it with all my might, forcing the magic to flow. Pain flares through me as I pump as much of my magic as I can into my body, pushing past the exhaustion that threatens to debilitate me.
Game time.
Clamping down on his hand with my teeth, I bite down with all my force. The flesh of his palm comes off in my mouth and his blood coats my tongue. With a pained yelp, his hand loosens but he's still at my back. I spin on my feet, hands burning teal, and slam my palms against his chest, launching him through the air where he falls against the wall.
It gives me just enough of an opening to yank open the door and cry out for my mates before he's there again, grabbing me and tossing me into the dresser. Something snaps with the fall and my ribs scream in agony.
I lay there wheezing through the pain, tears wetting my eyes, as the sick fuck casually pulls on his boxers, like he's getting ready to head down for breakfast.
Ash is still in there somewhere. He has to be.
How am I supposed to contain this Anshar person without hurting my mate's body?
Footsteps pound up the stairs and the tears come more violently at the relief that flows through me. I'm not alone.
Hale kicks the door open all the way, his eyes darting around the room as he takes in the scene. I cry out for him, crying for everything I've lost—my sense of safety, my virginity to a psycho, Ash.