She inclines her head. "I can do that for you, Lana. I sense her mind in the dreamscape now."
"Thank you," I clip out, the words tasting like horseshit on my tongue. "Goodbye, Gaia."
I turn away from her, wishing it wouldn’t have come to this between us. The wine glass sits heavy in my hand and I drop it to the ground. It shatters and jolts me awake in the real world.
Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I sit up on the couch, leaning forward to grab my real glass of wine from the coffee table. In one gulp, I down the remaining liquid and place it back on the table, trading it for the pen and paper that Zedd left behind. I admire the doodles of dragons and a warrior with long hair that he sketched on one. Smiling softly, I place it to the side and grab a blank page to pen by goodbye letter on.
They deserve some form of explanation for my actions, even if I’m not brave enough to say it to their face. A few lone tears escape as I sign the end of my note. I wipe them away angrily, reminding myself that this is my decision and I need to own it. I push myself from the sectional, tiptoeing upstairs to grab my clothes and shoes. Shrugging out of my pajama set, I wiggle into the leathers and lean down to put on my black boots, keeping one ear on the even breathing of my sleeping mates.
Once fully dressed, I straighten and take a moment to stare at them, knowing full well that it may be a while before I see them again. I say a silent goodbye, careful not to wake them.
I love you all. I'm sorry that I have to do this. Ash has no one right now and you all have each other. He needs me now more than ever.
Straightening my back, I head out of the room without another glance, leaving before I cave and throw myself into their arms.
Heading downstairs to open the portal in peace, I still. A dark, female silhouette sits at our kitchen island. "You're going after him?" Serenity's soft voice questions.
"Yes," I say, walking closer so I can see her face. "I wanted to tell you before I left, but didn’t have a way to contact you without Gaia. There’s no one else I trust to make sure they’re prepared for this war."
Conflicting emotions play out across her face before she lands on resigned and understanding. She nods to herself. "Thank you for trusting me. I know our time together has been short and full of our fair share of issues. But I swear to you, I'll make sure they're ready before they come to you.”
"I knew I could count on you, Witch Bitch," I admit and smile sadly at her, shaking my head at the nickname I'll surprisingly miss. She’s right, we definitely had our issues, but she has also become someone I look up to.
Resting my hand on her shoulder, I squeeze. "I won't let anyone else die in this battle. I won't let someone else lose their mate like you did. Reese's death will not be in vain."
Her hand comes up to lay on top of mine. "You can do this, Lana.”
Silence stretches between us for a few brief moments before she removes her hand from mine, balling it up into a fist and landing a hard punch on my shoulder. “Don’t tell anyone I was this nice. I have an image to uphold.”
Ugh, Bitch.
I rub my sore shoulder. “I’ll tell them you make me tremble and cower in fear of your gloriousness.”
“Lana…" she trails off before locking eyes with me. "Gaia told me everything. Remember that we are not the sum of our demons and our past. We are the sum of our love and perseverance through the trials along our journey.”
I take in her words of wisdom, truly letting them sink in. Why can’t my internal demons just die? “Will my past ever truly be dead?” I muse, mostly to myself.
She surprises me by answering. “The past is dead. The future is unborn, while the present is alive. So live, Lana.”
Shocking both of us, I lunge forward, pulling her off her barstool and into a bone-crushing hug as I mutter into her hair, “Thank you for setting me straight. You’re the big sister I never had.”
She squeezes me back. “I didn’t want to like you, Anal, but you’re different now.”
We hold each other for a moment before I step back from her, taking a deep breath and centering myself for what's to come. I grin at her. “Time for this autobot to roll out.”
She groans like she's embarrassed for me.
Closing my eyes, I reach for my power and coerce it into my body, allowing my mind to pull me towards my home. My realm.
As a blinding light permeates through my closed lids and a warmth radiates in front of me, I crack my eyes open and gasp. A swirling, silver portal hovers in the air.
A low whistle comes from Serenity. “Damn, someone leveled up!” Yes, but I'll miss the teal.
Glancing over my shoulder towards her, I give her one more smile, before turning back towards my future—and, I suppose, my past. “Get them ready for war, Serenity.”
I leave behind my life and step into the unknown.
My body shifts through dimensions, pulling me to my realm. Memories of my past life assault every cell of my body, tearing my heart apart.
My ignorance and arrogance.
The screams of my parents as they were slaughtered by the dark army.
My best friend Mika and her mates as they sacrificed themselves for my cause.
My mates as their hearts were ripped from their bodies at the hands of Anshar. Halston, Zeddicus, Lucius, Leonidas.
So much loss.
So much blood.
So much pain.
The scar on my chin that followed me into this life from where he carved his talon into my chin as I refused to give him an ounce of satisfaction.
My desperation to give my life to take him down as he spoke of a world he was convinced he already ruled.
He took everything from me and I could only blame myself for not being ready.
My body collides with solid ground and I open my eyes, shocked at the clarity of my vision.
Where is the enchanting realm from my dream with Gaia?
A barren wasteland stands before me, bathed in darkness and death, littered with rotting plants and carcasses of bloody animals. Where is the beauty and the pale pink ocean?
I wipe away the tears that dripped down my cheeks as my memories returned and push from the ground to stand. Cresting the hill before me, I crane my neck at the endless miles between myself and the dark kingdom that looms in the distance. A dark storm gathers around the black castle spires, lightning crackling in the sky around it.
My magic swells within me at the sight, begging me to use it to burn the fucker to the ground.
I’m coming for you, Anshar.