We both burst out laughing, and then we both said, “What are you doing here?” and laughed again.
“Ladies first.” He held out a hand, indicating that I should start.
Where to begin? The events that led up to this very moment had started over eight years ago. I opted for a condensed version. “I’m starting back up again. Gonna finally finish that degree. You?”
“I’m still going. I’ve been working my way through to avoid student debt.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s taking a lot longer to be a nurse anesthetist than I thought. Especially when I originally thought that I wanted to go to law school.” He gave me a sheepish smile.
I smiled. Going down a certain path only to have things change on you was something I could relate to. “I think it’s admirable that you have the drive to discover what it is you really want to do.”
He chuckled. “It’s nice that someone sees me as driven. Others were less than thrilled that I was going to drop out of law school.” He pushed his hand through his hair. His smile felt…strange.
I was a woman; I knew it when a man was smiling at me. This smile was beyond old friends. It was more…heated. My skin flushed at that thought. If he only knew that I came with a plus one. If he knew how many stretchmarks I had because of my ten-pound baby, he wouldn’t smile like that.
Regardless, my gaze automatically slipped down to his left hand. I didn’t see a ring there, but that didn’t mean anything. I was pretty sure he’d said others, and now I was wondering who he was referring to. “Are you…are you married?”
Camden’s eyes dipped to my bare left hand before he said, “Single and free.”
I smiled nervously. That did make me feel better. But then I shook my head. There was no reason I should feel better. Nothing was going to happen between Camden and me. Sure, I didn’t have a ring on my hand, but I had something equally defining. Should I blurt out that I had a kid? Was that going to send his charming smile in another direction? I wasn’t sure I could take an outright snub at the moment.
Thankfully, the professor started the lecture, which gave me time to come up with a game plan. One that included either never speaking to Camden again or just telling him the truth. Though I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know. Telling him I had a kid would lead to questions about where his dad was. Did I really want to open my life like that? I hated the sorry smile that spread across people’s faces when they discovered that Adam was KIA. I always knew they meant well, it just put a lot of pressure on me to make them feel better about the situation—about having asked in the first place.
They had no reason to be sorry. It wasn’t their fault, and it felt weird to give them absolution for their apology.
I sighed. Then again, this was Camden. We’d gone to high school together and were well into adulthood. I could be his friend, even if he did glance at me several times out of the corner of his eyes. The I’m interested kind of glancing and not the hey, what did you put for number five kind of glancing.
I shifted, not sure how I felt about that. It was flattering—of course—to know that I could still turn a man’s head. But it was also new and unexpected. I hadn’t given any thought to meeting someone while I was here because I’d been so focused on getting in. But, as I looked around the room, there were other people flirting. I’d just forgotten that dating and college went together like peanut butter and jelly.
I wasn’t sure I was ready for all of that. The games. The coy looks. Maybe I’d bury my head in my anatomy book and stay out of the line of pheromone fire.
It was a relief that Camden seemed to feel just as dedicated to the class as I was. He kept his gaze primarily focused forward as the professor went over the syllabus. Anatomy was notoriously the hardest class on campus. The instructor gave us directions for finding our assignments online and then ended class.
I closed my laptop and let out a breath. I had my first class under my belt. I was doing this!
“What’s your schedule like today?” Camden asked as he slid his computer into a messenger bag.
I stood as I gathered my things. “I have nutrition next.”
“Ouch!” He mocked getting hit in the chest. “Go to all the labs—the TA explains it better than the professor.”
“Thanks.” I made a mental note to get the lab schedule. If they were at night, I was in trouble because I’d have to work.
“Wanna go for coffee after that? I could meet you in the Hub.”
Coffee? Like a coffee date? A date?
Camden looked so relaxed as he asked, like he had no idea he’d sent my head spinning.
“I could give you a few more tips about classes,” he offered.
That sounded wonderful and less threatening. A recon meeting was definitely not a date. “I can use all the inside information I can get,” I admitted as I hugged my books to my chest.
“Great. I’ll see you then.” He gave me a wink and quickened his steps.
He was gone before my feet got the message that we needed to get moving. I had eight minutes to get to my next class, and it was in another building. Thank goodness Parker and I had walked my schedule a couple weeks ago. That was a fun day that brought a smile to my face. Just thinking about my son made me feel more grounded. More like myself.
Talking with Camden had me feeling like I was living someone else’s life just by being here. A single woman’s life. I watched the faces that swirled past me as other students rushed to their classes or labs. They had no idea who I was or what was in my past. I could be anyone here.
The idea was big and kind of scary.
Most people would welcome the chance to start over and reinvent themselves. But I’d been through too much to want to go back to the beginning.
And I really loved Parker. Marrying Adam, as lonely as it had been at times, had brought me my greatest joy. If I had to do it all over again, I would.
Would any of these people understand?
Mason would. He’d seen more than I had—probably too much if his reaction the other morning was any indication.
I made it into the building and scrambled up the staircase to the third floor. My vow to take the stairs to keep in shape taunted me. What was wrong with an elevator anyway?
Maybe I wouldn’t go to coffee. It felt like a bad idea. Like false advertising.
But as my class wore on, and I became increasingly lost in the B-vitamins and all their variations, Camden’s offer for insider information came flooding back.
I’d go. I’d go and keep it professional, friendly even, and I’d do all that I could to work Parker into the conversation.
I was a ragged pile of nerves as I staggered into the Hub after my class, feeling like an old lady compared to the two girls in front of me. They jabbered about their dorm room and the cute RA at the end of the hall.
I rolled my eyes.
“Sadie!” Camden stood by a table and waved his arm over his head. The place was packed, and no one even turned his direction.
I forced a smile and pushed my way through.
“I remembered you like caramel, so I got you a latte.” He pushed a lidded cup across to my side of the table.
I laughed. “Milk Duds are a far cry from this.” I picked it up and the smooth scent of caramel warmed me. “Not that I’m complaining.” I took a sip—heaven. “I so needed this.”