“Want? I told you.”
“OK, I mean specifics. Do you want to come?” The smile faltered at that. “Do you want to delay that? Do you want to fuck me?” His hand strayed to his cock, shoving the heel of his hand down on the rigid length. It was magnetic, but as I inspected him, thought about what this might mean between us, some of my own boundaries came to mind. “I don’t know if I want to share you with others.” His eyes flicked wide at that, his gaze sharpening rapidly. “Like the guys, the band, that’s OK, but not outside it. Maybe others can touch you.” I had a mental image of some beautiful stranger doing just that and felt something twist inside me. What would it be like, to see some freaking hot guy slide his hand down Jake’s…? “Maybe.”
I was completely out of my depth, not even sure what I was saying or if that was reasonable, so I definitely didn’t expect to see Jake’s expression shift. His eyes burned so brightly, they hurt to look at, stark against his skin. Then he leapt for me, holding me tight against his chest so I was forced to breathe in great mouthfuls of soap and clean male. His hands didn’t seem to know what to do, roaming over my back and hips.
“Oh, there you are!”
We all turned to see Jen and Vervain in the doorway.
“And you look all ready for court,” Vervain said. “Damn, girl, you did well!”
“Not a fucking girl,” Marlow said with a snap. “But thank you. She looks amazing.”
“Every inch a queen,” Jen said with a sparkle in her eyes. “Oh, Ki… Marlow, you really are a bloody genius. I need to talk Daddy into paying you more.”
“Or giving him to me,” I said.
I caught the moment Jen blanched, a little micro-expression that was soon smoothed over.
“So are you coming with?” she asked Marlow.
“Not me. You guys need time to play, and where you’re going, I’ll only get in trouble. I’ll be locked up in The Changeling bus, safe behind a wall of sentinels, ready to hear all the stories when you get back.”
I leaned in and kissed him. “Sleep,” I said, smoothing a hand over his cheekbones. “You work too long and too hard. I’ll still be there in the morning.” I could see it now that I’d mentioned it, the lines on his face, the tightness around his eyes. “Maybe we could get some breakfast together or something? Let me pamper you.”
“I’d like that.”
“OK, OK, enough mushy stuff, there’s fuckery to spread,” Jake said, starting to pull on the lead.
I let go of Marlow, regretting it the moment I did, but knowing I needed to. He is right, I thought as I stalked out of the room on stilettos with my boy on a leash. I need to find out what I’m capable of.
“Ki, are those heels!?”
17
You need to find yourself in all of this.
I chanted Jen’s words like a motto in my mind as we walked through the backstage area, now being stripped bare, down the stage steps and into court. Again, magic had been expended, turning it into a Wonderland, one that seemed to defy the rules of physics.
“This seems…” I looked around me at the curling trees and glimpses of buildings I could see beyond them. “This looks bigger than the venue is.”
“Liam made a portal,” Jake said, casting an eye over his shoulder at us. “There’s people from all over to come and see your coronation.”
“My what?” I said.
“Hartley seems to be expending a huge amount of power for this,” Jen said tightly.
“It’s all good. Daddy will get his cut, don’t you worry.”
“Liam didn’t talk to you about this?” Jen asked me.
“Well, no. I mean he mentioned that he wanted to ‘lock me down,’ but I didn’t think it meant a freaking coronation.”
“You don’t have to, you know,” she said, her face uncharacteristically solemn. “You have options.”
But I didn’t, something I hadn’t, couldn’t share with my friends. Everything Aen had said, however briefly, and the way the guys reacted… The bond between us was secret squirrel shit. Jake turned around to watch me, see how I’d respond, all that boyishness washed away once his self-preservation instincts had been activated.
“I’m with Hartley, Jen,” I replied, and whatever the tension was right now seemed to dissipate.
“OK, well, this will be your first gather as part of a court then.” She smiled brightly now. “So let’s go!”
She took my hand in hers, and we walked up to what looked like a glimmery portal to a whole other world.
“Are you ready?” she said, her old mischievous smile back in place.
No, no, I’m not, I wanted to say. The leather of the lead felt slick in my hands, but we entered the hole in reality, and it felt like we pushed through some kind of unseen membrane that popped as soon as our feet hit the ground.
“Oh my god,” I said as I looked around. Everything felt completely different here. The sun was shining, the grass was so green it was almost hard to look at, and while I’d heard air called sweet before, this was the first time it’d actually tasted like that in my mouth as I breathed. It was also kinda silky, like you could feel it against your skin as you moved.
But that was just the backdrop. Around me, as far as the eye could see, were people of every colour, shape, size, and I mean every one of them. The customary United Colors of Benetton were represented, but along with skin colour was fur, horns, tails, paws, claws, fangs, and so much more. I saw people stalk past that seemed barely corporeal, that dripped with water, were part fish, or just came up to my knee. Jake shifted restlessly on the end of the lead, following some for a few steps, their eyes on him, his on them.
“And what do we have here?” said a tall dark-haired man as he swaggered over, wearing a knee-length leather coat, hands encased in black gloves. I watched him tip back Jake’s chin, the quiver of his muscles the only indicator that he resisted the push. “You’re a pretty one. I’d love to mark your flesh until it ran as red as your hair.” He pulled his hand away, his dark eyes switching to me. “He’s your pet?” I didn’t reply. This guy had that same arrogant look of disdain so many powerful people chose to wear. I wasn’t sure if he was someone I needed to curry favour with or could afford to ignore, but the longer his eyes bore into mine, the more I wanted to pull away. His nostrils flared, and he let out an exaggerated sigh. “What will it cost me? Hurry up now, girl. I love the pale ones. They mark so exquisitely.”
I moved up beside Jake, feeling the heat of his body as I drew close. I coiled the leash in my hands, tightening the tension between us.
“Jake?” I said, low to try and keep the conversation between us. “Is this what you want?”
He didn’t reply, his eyes studying mine, communicating so much in that gaze I struggled to parse. He didn’t look happy or unhappy, just tense, stretched thin as a wire and ready to be strummed, but by who?
I want to give them everything I have, and for them to hold that and use that, use me, want me, hold me.
I was overthinking things again. He’d told me loud and clear what he wanted—what I wanted, and I didn’t want tall, dark, and sneery.