“Why are you asking the pet what it thinks?” the guy said. “That’s not what he’s for. He’s for the using, so tell me what you want in return and hand him over. He’s perfect for what I had planned.”
“My apologies, but I’m going to have to say no,” I said. I watched the man’s eyes widen. “We’ve only just forged this relationship, and I need time to feel him out, for me to be comfortable handing him over to others. I appreciate the offer, but respectfully, I’m going to have to decline.”
I felt Jen and Vervain come to stand beside me as the guy responded to the words. There was a slight jerk of his head, as if slapped.
“Do you know who I am?” he said.
“No, do you know who I am?” I replied, not looking away from those piercing eyes. They narrowed for a second.
“No, but I aim to find out.” And with that, he turned with a swish of that very impressive frock coat.
“But not from me,” I said lamely to his retreating back.
“There you go,” Vervain said. “You’ve rejected your first offer. You knew pretty much straight away that this wasn’t what you wanted?” I nodded.
“Smart choice,” Jen said. “That’s Lord Blackthorn. He’s…on the extreme end of things. His whole court is. But enough of that, let’s show you around, then I think a visit to House Belladonna could be in order.” My friend cast an eye over Jake and then nodded, leading the way.
I grabbed at Jake’s arm when he went to follow them, holding him still for a second. His body was still stiff with tension, something that only eased a little when I ran my hand over his body.
“I’m trying to find my way in this, Jake. I know that you want me to be some kind of…” I shook my head, unable to even get the words out, which was kinda ominous. “I don’t really know what you want. Or what I want.” My hands curled and flexed around the lead. “This has all been so damn fast, I feel like my head is spinning.”
I jumped when he touched me. Since the collar had been strapped on, he’d gone through a drastic personality shift, becoming quiet and compliant, so seeing him move of his own accord to run a hand down the side of my face was kinda weird. Nice, but weird.
“Use me,” he said.
“Yep, I know. I get that’s what this…thing is. I’m just still trying to—”
“No, you don’t get it. Use me. You want to work out what you want? Where you fit here? Use me. I’ll try whatever you want, Kira. You like to watch. Watch me. Run me through scenarios, pull me out when you know you’re not into it. Use me.”
The breath felt like it fought my body when it came in, then out. My mouth felt dry as a desert, something he seemed to sense, if his smile was anything to go by.
“You’re blooming something fierce,” he said, a low buzz against my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “Does the thought of making me do what you daren’t make you ache, Kira?”
“It provides a whole lot more clarity, is what it does,” I said, looking up into those green eyes. I’d watched a lot of guy on guy action over the years, now it was my opportunity to direct my own. “I want to see you with another man, maybe a few.”
His grin was that same bright, sharp thing I saw when he was playing, though I guess this was just another performance for him. He fished into the flap of his pants, tugging his rigid length out.
“Helps indicate I’m interested,” he said, with a nod to his dick. “Who do you want to see me with? Someone bigger? A big bear type? Someone slight? Almost feminine?”
I saw a cue of phantom suitors appear beside Jake in my mind, but I discarded them all.
“I think…I want to see someone with a similar body to yours, to the guys.”
He laughed, then shook his head. “You want to see them fuck me, don’t you? Don’t hold out for that. The others, they don’t really flow that way. They’ll use me if they need to, when they want to get closer to you, I reckon. Sometimes they feel sorry for me and help me out.” He tossed his head back. “Doesn’t matter. Slut that I am, I like it all. So anyone in particular we’re finding a doppelgänger for?”
Did they see the pain in Jake? I wondered. I’d seen Liam use him as a throat to fuck, Lucas get him off, but whatever this was? My eyes trailed over his collar. He wasn’t getting it from the band, not much, at least from what Billy said.
“I don’t want a substitute for one of the guys,” I said, that becoming clear to me now. “I want someone who wants you. Who’s going to dig their nails into your skin, scrabble to get at you, who’ll tear at your pants with urgency.”
“My body type and hot for it.” He nodded. “I know who we should visit next.”
“Everything OK?” Jen asked when we re-joined her.
“Just needed to sort a few things out,” I replied.
“We’re going to Samson’s,” Jake said, something that had Jen’s eyes widening.
“But I thought we’d—”
Vervain silenced her with a small shake of her head.
“She knows what she wants,” she said. “Let’s just keep her safe when she gets it.”
18
“So, what is this place, anyway? Some kind of fae resort or something?” I said.
The girls smiled at each other at that. I guess it was pretty obvious. My eyes scanned the surroundings as we walked, following Jake’s lead, literally. Suddenly, I needed to look at, know all of the things. It was either that or deal with the massive ball of anxiety and excitement that sat uneasily in my belly.
“It’s Heaven,” Jen said.
“What? They named it for the Christian afterlife?”
“No, it’s actually Heaven. Paradise, the Elysium Fields, the promised land, the good place.” My best friend grinned when I looked at her quizzically. “There were three levels of existence, as far as we know—the plane the gods occupied, this world, and the world, world.” I frowned. “We used to have free rein here, apparently. All those tales of gods taking humans to the heavens happened here. Being lured into faerie mounds, being taken to the realm of the blessed where the gods rewarded you for being awesome, the fights between various divine hosts, all here. Depending on your culture or religion and the fae that lived there, it looked different.”
“You say that like its past tense.”
She shrugged. “We used to live side by side with the gods, from what I’ve been told, and when they cut ties, we lost this too, except for pockets of it. It’s what all those power stones are used for, Kira. We’re always trying to buy back Heaven, gather enough power to open it back up. Rutherglen has a small slice of it as well, but you can only access it from the estate at Crewe. Hartley…” She glanced around her, as if seeing the area for the first time. “They pulled in some big favours, or have been sitting on something big for some time. This will get Daddy’s attention.”
When she said his name, it didn’t sound like a cute pet name for her father at all. I watched her shrink back a little, which only added to the fear that I was carrying.