With a pomposity that would have challenged any parish priest, Freddie’s friend completed the formalities with aplomb. The moment came, as it did in every wedding, when he asked, dropping his nose and peering over his reading glasses, ‘if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.’ Stella heard a staged cough and there was an awkward shuffling as people leaned and turned to peer at the source of this throat-clearing. Stella saw that it was Peter. She hadn’t seen him as they entered as he was seated close to the wall in the row behind hers. His hand was covering his mouth and he coughed again and raised his head as if to speak. Stella looked back to Dixie and she was scowling theatrically. Peter smiled and laughed apologetically. Freddie appeared oblivious to the interaction as he patiently watched Dixie.
‘Anyone?’ asked the priest again, his eyes roving the assembled, and finished with a final look in the direction of Peter, who had now lowered his eyes.
‘Good. Looks like we’ve got ourselves a happy ending, folks.’
As Freddie and Dixie glided down the aisle after saying their ‘I do’s, Stella looked sheepishly back at Jake. They’d sat together at many weddings, their hands touching during the vows, unspoken love and trust passing between them. Not any more. That was gone. This time their eyes met, and Stella was searching for a sign, for something. For a moment she was struck by how handsome he looked, but was relieved when a sweaty little hand took hers. She didn’t need any more confusion.
The second he could escape, Joel ran over to where they were standing.
‘Ana, can I please talk to you for just a minute, before the party?’
‘Fine,’ she said, her hands shaking, as he led her to an empty seat at the front of the room.
‘You lost my number?!’ she immediately spat at him, unable to hold her tongue. ‘How old are you, 12? You know where I work, it can’t be that hard to find me. Jesus, don’t treat me like an idiot, Joel!’
‘Well actually, you’re not that easy to track down, you feisty little firecracker. And yes I do know where you work, but when I rang your office some lady called Jan said you had taken a few days off and she wouldn’t give your number out. So then I had to circumnavigate your inner circle to find you!’
‘Sodding Jan,’ giggled Ana, relieved he knew about her as it certainly added some weight to his story. ‘But I still think you are full of crap. Imagine being me, telling you I am pregnant after a one-night-stand when we have not seen each other for years, and then the line goes dead. What am I meant to think? What would you think? And then you just disappear!’
‘You’re meant to have faith, Ana, that what is meant to be will be. We were always meant to be together, our worlds have collided once again in the most wonderful way imaginable, and now you tell me, to top it all, we’re going to have a baby. We could never have dreamed this up naked in the hot tub.’
‘Christ, you’ve become so poetic and emotionally aware, Joel, I suppose everything is just a song lyric to you.’
‘Damn straight it is. Every star needs a muse, baby…’
‘It’s not a joke, Joel, we barely know each other any more. We can’t just pick up where we left off and throw a baby into the mix, this is real life, this…’
‘Shh, Ana, please, relax, I promise you, it’s all going to be fine. Look at me. We’ve got this.’ And as he leaned in to kiss her, she knew it was pointless even trying to fight it. She was going to go along for the ride, whatever that might bring. But she still needed to have a word with Jan!
As the guests filtered through to the dining room, Stella grabbed the first glass of champagne she could find and found a corner to gather herself. Should she ask Jake to leave the reception? Or should she just see how the evening went? She was torn. She had been excited at the prospect of being at the wedding on her own, and now Jake was there, she felt suffocated. But she also realised she missed him, the comfort of him. Across the room she saw him crouched down talking to Tom and Rory. She sighed as she took in the magnificence of the room. The beautiful white flowers that lined the long tables, so simple and elegant. The green ivy twisted dramatically around every pillar. Somewhere at the other end of the room in a press of unfamiliar faces, she saw Ana and Joel, giggling and laughing, holding each other, happiness radiating from them.
‘So what is a man to do when he sees his beautiful wife standing under the mistletoe?’ said Jake, who’d appeared beside her. He rested his hand on her lower back and stood beside her. Not too close, but close enough.
‘I think the answer is nothing. This “wife” is accidentally standing under the mistletoe while she considers whether or not she even wants her lying husband to stay at the wedding, when it is her friend getting married, not his.’
Jake’s hand dropped away. ‘I’m sorry. I told Dixie it was a risk for me to come today, but she so wanted the boys to be here, and I would have been sad to miss the big day. I’m sorry, Stella. I’ll go if you want. I’m not here to fight.’
‘No, wait,’ said Stella. ‘I’m not sure how I feel, whether I want you here or not, whether I even want to speak to you, but your sons need their father, and, for now, we just need you to deal with your problems. I can’t think about anything beyond that, and once you are better, then we have a lot to talk about.’ She was aware she had her arms folded across her chest and her glass was empty. She felt cruel, but she had to protect herself. She grabbed another glass from a passing waiter.
‘It’s fine,’ said Jake. ‘I get it. I am a fucking arsehole and I screwed up our lives. I deserve everything I get. But I want to make amends, and we have to find some way to go on, for them.’
His head indicated Tom and Rory, who were circling the table where the chocolate fountain was churning.
‘Yup, damn right you did, but I did too, Jake. We all make mistakes, we are human, but today is not about us. Today is about Dixie – about the girl who finally found a good man who deserved her. And that is something we can celebrate. So are you in?’
She raised her glass in a toast.
Jake looked at her, his eyes twinkling. ‘I’d love to, but the programme doesn’t allow for drinking. I’m an addict, Stella, I need to steer clear of everything for now. One day at a time.’
Her eyes met his and held them. ‘One day at a time. Yes. That. Exactly that.’
Chapter Thirty-One
Stella
Stella heard it first, the familiar beat, the sound that could only mean the king and queen of country were about to take the party to the next level. Stella lost all train of thought. Her conversation with a bald, mid-western management consultant was forgotten, and, without warning him, she emptied the flute into the back of her throat and fled in the direction of the music. She knew the others would follow and, like a meerkat, she pushed through the throng towards the double doors, leaping to catch sight of their heads bouncing towards the music. Dixie’s height gave her an advantage. Stella saw her already accompanying Kenny and Dolly, with gusto.
They had to reach the dance floor in time to join Dolly’s solo. Stella felt two hands trailering her from behind and she knew from the happy laughter that Ana was in position. This was their pre-teen anthem. They’d got ‘drunk’ on cherry cola and bounced up and down on Stella’s bed as they chorused into hairbrushes, hairsprays and nailbrushes, each high on youth, hormones and romance.