When Erin and Ivan stopped by for a late breakfast, I got dragged into a corner by her. With her gossipy face firmly in place, she demanded, "You better spill it. I know you've been dodging my calls. What is going on with you?"
"I quit the firm. I'm sort of, kind of, possibly dating Yuri. That's what's going on with me. What's new with you?"
Her mouth curved in a wicked smile. "Oh I see. We're going to play it cool, huh? That's the Lena M.O., right?"
Now I was smiling. "Pretty much."
She shook her head and laughed. "For what it's worth, Ivan thought you two looked great together in the photo. Actually, what he really said was finally."
I rolled my eyes. "Tell Ivan I said thank you for his approval."
"I know you're joking but those four guys?" She glanced at Dimitri and Ivan who chatted across the restaurant. "They value one another's opinions big time. It's good that Nikolai, Dimitri and Ivan like you so much."
"To be fair, our group is the same way. You relied on our opinions when you were talking about moving in with Ivan. If we'd said no, you would have reconsidered."
"Maybe," she said uncertainly. "By the time he asked me to move in with him, I was totally head over heels for him." She gazed at Ivan with such love in her eyes. "Some mornings I wake up and I can't believe how lucky I am that he risked his life to help me save my sister. I mean, I know how he looks. He's so big and scary and intimidating—but my God, Lena. That man only knows one way to love and that is totally and completely. I've never been happier."
She gulped and blinked rapidly. Regaining her composure, she said, "I want that for you. I want you to know how totally fucking amazing it is to know you have a man like Ivan in your corner."
Feeling a bit of pressure, I warned, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Yuri and I have only been on one sort-of date. We haven't even slept together yet."
Erin waggled her eyebrows. "Ooh! You think tonight is the night?"
"No. Definitely not."
"What if he turns on that infamous charm?"
"He tried that the other night. It didn't work."
"Uh-huh." She eyed me skeptically. "It didn't make you even the slightest bit tingly?'
"Well…"
"Ha! Knew it!"
I rolled my eyes. "You're a real goofball, you know that?"
She threw her arms around me. "And you love me!"
"Yeah. I guess." I hugged her back. Catching Ivan's amused gaze, I released her. "I think the Hulk is ready to go. I'm sure he's got a whole gym full of fighters waiting to be tortured."
"Probably," she agreed with a laugh. "I'm going to text you tonight. I want a play-by-play."
"Erin, you're impossible!"
"Whatever!" She snapped my arm with a flick of her finger. "You always want the juicy details from me and Benny. Now it's your turn to entertain us with all the deliciously dirty bits."
She had a point. I had been awfully obnoxious about getting the scoop on the between-the-sheet action Benny and Erin shared with their men. I decided payback was only fair. "All right. Fine. But try to keep it to one text an hour. He's going to think I'm a freak if I'm running to the bathroom every twenty minutes to answer you."
"Well, we wouldn't want him to learn the truth about you until after he's bought you a big, snooty yacht."
"Bitch," I hissed with a giggle. Playing along, I added, "Well, if he does you're not welcome on my big, snooty yacht."
Still giggling, she waved at me and wound her way through the crowd toward Ivan. Hand in hand, they left the bakery. A short time later, Vivian popped in for a quick bite to eat and to congratulate Benny on the successful launch. Before she could leave, Ada Montoya, the news anchor for the hugely popular Spanish channel in Houston, dragged her aside for a quick interview about the mural she'd painted.
As I watched Vivian chattering away in Spanish, it occurred to me that if she was serious about making it as an artist after she finished school next May she was going to need a strong internet presence. I'd been the one to design her promo materials for her last art show, the one in the spring that had done so well, but I could see that she wasn't thinking big yet. She always downplayed her talent but I knew she was going places—successful places.
By noon, I'd squared away the last of the press I'd booked. I sensed Benny was starting to feel the fatigue of launching a new business and early pregnancy but she didn't let it slow her down. Though I worried about her overdoing it, one look at Dimitri's concerned face told me it was under control. As protective as he was of Benny, I figured he'd have her tucked away in his truck and home for a nap within the hour.
With my part in the day complete, I gave Benny one last hug and promised to run interference with any publicity issues she forwarded my way. As my one and only client, I could offer her my total attention.
It felt so weird to be home alone at the apartment in the middle of the day. For the longest time, I sat on the couch and stared at the French doors leading to the balcony. I felt completely at a loss. I didn't know what to do with myself.
Napping seemed like the only real option so I stripped down to my undies and crawled into bed. After setting my alarm, I tugged the covers over my head and tried to calm my racing thoughts. I didn't want to think about my unemployed status or the very real possibility that my father was in trouble for something my dumbass cousin had done. I wanted to dream about nice things, about good things.
About Yuri.
His smiling face invaded my thoughts and calmed me. I could picture the way the little lines crinkled around his eyes and the way his grin became lopsided when he laughed. My tummy wobbled as I remembered the feel of his big, warm hand gliding along my thigh and the way his lips felt pressed to mine. My breasts ached as I grew aroused by the naughty images of where that backseat make-out session might have gone. I squeezed my thighs together to ease the throbbing there.
Not surprisingly, my dreams were ridiculously dirty. In bed with my dream Yuri, I indulged all the naughty fantasies that I'd never been brave enough to try out in real life. When I woke up to the sound of my alarm, I shook with desire. Need trembled through me and I wondered if I could deny myself what I wanted so badly.
Staring up at my ceiling, I tried to figure out what it was that scared me so much about making love to Yuri. It wasn't that I was strictly no sex without a wedding band like Vivian. I'd had three lovers since starting college. I'd cared about each of those men and they'd all loved me so it wasn't that the experiences had been cheap or dirty. They were simply unsatisfying.
Deep down inside, I worried I was broken. Here, in the safety of my own room, climaxing was easy. Once I got between the sheets with a man, I turned to ice. I enjoyed the intimacy and closeness of writhing together with a lover but there was no completion for me. There was no release. I often climbed out of bed more frustrated than when I'd slid into it.
So I'd basically sworn of sex after Price had broken up with me a little more than a year ago. He'd been a great boyfriend and we'd had a good time together but he was looking for things I didn't want. The last time I'd stalked his Facebook page, I'd seen that he was engaged. Apparently, he'd found a girl who wanted the same things he did.