I was happy for him. I was happy for anyone who found someone special to share their lives with but I often wondered if I was too damaged for that kind of happiness. Watching my mother walk out on me had done some crazy things to me. There weren't many people I let get close. Vivian, Erin, Benny, my father—they were the only people I loved and trusted not to betray me.
But Yuri? Was he someone I could trust? I honestly didn't know.
It occurred to me that keeping him at a distance wasn't going to answer that question. I'd never know if he was worthy to be added to the extremely short list of people I loved if I didn't open up and make myself vulnerable.
And it scared me. The very thought of opening myself up to that kind of heartbreak terrified me.
But, if I didn't, I would never know.
And I had to know.
Chapter Five
Dressed in my favorite new dress, I tried to find the courage to enter the restaurant. I'd just watched the valet at the downtown hotspot drive away in my red compact. It wasn't quite a beater but it definitely wasn't nice enough for this restaurant.
A quiver of embarrassment flickered through me at the idea Yuri might have seen me climbing out of the car. Sure, I'd paid cash for the thing after working my ass off my senior year of high school and I was damn proud of it—but Yuri probably spent more on one bespoke suit than I had on the whole car.
I smoothed a hand down the front of my dress. On a shopping trip with Erin last month, I'd fallen in love with the sweet little peplum number the moment I'd spotted it in the boutique. It was a knockoff of the hottest runway styles and fit perfectly in my budget. I'd even had enough left over to splurge on some slingback heels and a cute clutch. This was my first chance to wear it. I hoped it had the same effect on Yuri that it had on the valet guy who nearly broke his neck watching me get out of the car.
With my heart beating in my throat, I stepped into the swanky restaurant. The upscale waiting area was surprisingly busy for a Monday night. My gaze skipped around the seating areas but I didn't see Yuri. Had he already gone to our table?
I waited in line at the hostess station and tried to get a grip on my wild emotions. Nervous. Excited. Anxious. Aroused. My poor body was jumping from one extreme to the next.
"May I help you?" the peppy brunette greeted me with a smile.
"I'm meeting someone for dinner. Yuri Novakovsky."
Her eyes widened slightly. Obviously she recognized his name. Her gaze dropped to the laminated seating chart. When she didn't find anything there, she opened the small black book and ran her fingertip down the reservation list. "I'm sorry, ma'am. There's no reservation for Mr. Novakovsky tonight."
Confused, I whipped out my phone and quickly brought up the email from his assistant. I flashed the screen at the hostess. "These were the details I was sent."
"I'm so sorry. There must have been a mix up." She glanced at her chart again. "I can seat you or you can wait at the bar until Mr. Novakovsky arrives."
"I'd rather sit at a table."
The hostess found an open spot for us, no doubt bumping the people who had been waiting ahead of me. I felt a twinge of guilt but shrugged it off. Yuri obviously came here frequently enough that the hostess and wait staff knew him. If his name got us a table quicker, that was a perk I was happy to enjoy.
Seated in the center rear of the restaurant, I ordered a glass of wine and hoped I wasn't in for a long wait. Certain it was some sort of travel delay keeping Yuri, I tried not to worry. I scanned the restaurant to see if I noticed anyone.
My gaze landed on none other than Ty Weston, wealthy gossiper extraordinaire. He held court at a large round table. I recognized most of the faces surrounding him. They were a who's who of Texas trust fund babies including Caitlin, his little sister, and Pips Barlow Bennett, his best friend and an heiress to an oil and gas mega fortune.
Our gazes clashed across the restaurant. Ty smiled and lifted his glass. I fought the urge to roll my eyes and smiled instead. Turning away, I pretended not to notice his lingering stare. It wasn't because he was interested in me. That's for damn sure. Ty was probably the only son of a conservative senator brave enough to be openly gay and living his life out loud and proud. I had to give it to him. The guy had huge balls.
My cell phone chirped. Sure it was Erin, I grabbed it out of my clutch. It was Ty sending me a direct message via Twitter. I glanced at his table but he was engaged in a conversation with Pips.
Hope I didn't cause any problems with the pic the other day. Was too juicy to pass up. You two looked HAWT.
I hesitated before typing an answer.
Wasn't thrilled to be the focus of your tittle-tattle but I'll live.
I watched him reach into his pocket and withdraw his phone. His mouth curved in a smile. I waited for his reply to ding my inbox.
Better get used to it. Notoriety is the price of dating a man in that league.
If anyone knew what it was like to date a billionaire unable to shake the paparazzi, it was probably Ty. He'd had a couple of high profile romances with an actor and a super-rich heir from some tiny European principality. Like me, he didn't seem to be able to make a relationship stick.
We'd been acquaintances since my first summer interning with the PR firm. At the time, he'd been an intern at the newspaper. We'd worked together on a couple of projects but then I'd caught him digging through the dumpsters behind the building the PR company shared with a law firm that specialized in the energy industry.
I'd been shocked and dismayed to see the fruits of those dirty labors show up on his fledgling gossip site. He'd uncovered a disgusting cover-up but had hurt some innocent people in the process. I'd tried to make him see that two wrongs didn't make a right but he wouldn't be swayed. After that, I'd given him a wide berth.
But, unlike a lot of people, I didn't find him malicious. Misguided? Overzealous? Yes. Malicious? Never. He was just the kind of guy who believed the truth had to be told, no matter the costs.
"Ma'am?" A waiter stood next to the table. "I hate to be so rude but would you mind moving to the bar until your guest arrives? We're running short on space and there's a party with reservations that would like to be seated."
"Oh." Feeling a bit flustered, I nodded and grabbed my wine glass. "Sure. It's no problem."
There was no way I could ignore the curious stares directed at me as I left the busy floor of the restaurant for the equally busy bar. I couldn’t get a seat there so I stood in a corner and tried not to look ridiculous. Sipping my wine, I wondered where the hell Yuri was. He was nearly half an hour late.
Why hadn't he texted? I checked my phone to be sure I hadn't missed one from him. As I typed in a message for him, my phone vibrated as a message from Erin appeared. I switched to it.
Well?! How's it going?!
He's not here yet.
What?
He's not here. We're not on the reservation list.
You at the right place?
Of course!
Sorry. Just wondering. Don't bite my head off. Text him!
I did. I sent him a simple text asking where he was and if we were still on for tonight. Ten minutes later and reaching the bottom of my wine glass, I still hadn't received an answer from him so I texted Erin back.