But it was family. The only family I knew had pillaged my life, had destroyed every dream, every inkling of self I had within me.
How can I embrace any form of family when I can’t even face thinking about my own?
A knock on the door made me jump. “Let me in, Kate,” Kai called through the door.
Everything in me told me not to let him in, to just hole up in the bathroom until they all left. But I couldn’t be that cowardly.
I only unlocked it, but he took that as invitation enough to step inside and shut the door. Gaze raking from my face all the way to my toes, he leaned against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest.
“You wanna stay here while we go out?” he asked. There was no anger or guilt behind it. He would honestly allow me an out, probably because he didn’t want another meltdown, but also because he cared about me being comfortable.
But those big girl panties were on. I could get through a dinner and a breakfast with them. Barely. “No, I’ll go,” I told him, wrapping my arms around my belly. “They didn’t have to get all of that for the babies, though.”
Eyes shifting back and forth, his lips twitched. “Yeah. But they are their first grandkids. They’d do the same if either of the girls were having a kid. They’re just showing us their support.”
It made sense. But that didn’t mean I liked it. “They could just be supportive, without all the gifts.”
“Then it wouldn’t be them.” He shrugged. That explained where he got his generosity from, which was slightly irritating. It was a learned habit.
He pushed off the counter, standing within inches of me. He was doing that thing where he took up the entire room, stealing the air from it. It wasn’t fair. Along with all the other changes my body was going through, he had no idea what my hormones had been doing to me in that past week. Something had shifted to the point of me constantly wanting him. Constantly. It was on my mind most of the day. Of course, I would never tell him as much, especially since we were sleeping in the same bed now. He didn’t need to know what was on my mind while we were doing so.
When he cupped my face, the heat of his hands lit up my entire body, drawing a sigh from my lips. He was still in worry mode, afraid I was going to flip out on him again. Which I might do later, when my hormones weren’t begging me to do other things.
“Just don’t freak out on me again. Okay? It’s been a really good week. They’re only going to be here a couple days.”
That whole week, we hadn’t really kissed or done anything physical. We were getting to know each other like we were starting from square one. It was amazing having an actual relationship, but in that moment, standing there in the bathroom, I wanted more. “Sure,” I huffed, moving closer to him—as much as my belly would allow, anyway. “Would you kiss me?” I demanded without even meaning to, sounding way too breathless. I couldn’t care, couldn’t even think twice about the request.
His head jerked sideways. “What?”
“Kiss me,” I repeated, running my hands up his sides.
He blinked slowly, shaking his head as if trying to dislodge something. But I didn’t want it dislodged just then. “I-I—”
I cut him off with my mouth as I ran my hands through his hair. After some coercing with my tongue and lips, he finally let go, humming against my mouth, making my bones vibrate. His beard he was allowing to grow scraped against my chin. Every sensation firing through me sparked and crackled along with all the emotions I’d felt moments before. The anger and insecurities only egged me on. I wanted him to burn them away with his mouth and his hands that were roaming my body, as if he were as hungry as I. They lit a trail down my sides, over my hips, and then he grabbed my bottom, squeezing as he trailed hungry kisses down my jaw and neck. My belly was a little in the way, but he didn’t seem to mind it much.
“Fuck, Kate.” His ragged breathing dragged through my muddied brain. Then he bit my jaw, making me gasp. “What are you doing to me?” he growled.
There was no way I could answer that question because he had no clue what he was doing to me. All. The. Time.
There was a bang on the door, followed by Mia’s voice. “We’re all pretty hungry, you know.” Her probably getting back at me for earlier, the brat.
Kai cursed against my neck before hollering, “Just a minute,” not moving an inch from where he had my bottom pressed against the counter, his hands digging into my hips. Eyes hungry, he kissed me hard one last time, stealing my breath away. “We’re talking about this later,” he growled against my lips. Then he stepped away to look in the mirror and smooth out the hair I’d rumpled.
I was suddenly freezing but burning hot at the same time. I could only hope he would keep good on that promise—though we would be doing a lot more than talking.
He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before meeting Mia in the hall, saying, “She’ll be out in a minute.”
Mia retorted with a sarcastic “Mmhmm,” as if she knew we were not talking in there. There was no shame to be felt, even though she’d once caught me coming out of a bathroom after doing the dirty at a club with a random guy before, which probably made her think we’d just done the same in there. The thought had me realizing what poor choices I’d made. But this one, this one was right. Finally, a good one.
There was no way to turn off what I’d started, no way not to think about him or remove the heat from my cheeks. I looked good and frazzled when I went out to find that Kai was the only one waiting in the living room. My heart pounded at the sight of him staring out the kitchen window, his hands clasped behind his head.
“Um, did I scare everyone off?”
His gaze snapped in my direction, a smile playing at his lips. “No. I told them to head to the restaurant.” He came over to me, grasping my hands between us, stormy eyes searching mine. “You wanna tell me what that was all about?”
With a meek smile, I shrugged. “Hormones?”
That earned me one of his guttural laughs. “Well, I wasn’t joking about later. If you’re still… you know, if you still want to.”
My stomach fluttered, but I tried my hardest to ignore it. “We should get going. Don’t want to keep your family waiting.”
He chuckled, kissing me on the forehead before leading me out the door.
Dinner wasn’t horrible. We ate at a small Italian restaurant, where I didn’t find much of anything that piqued my appetite. Mrs. Hart kept trying to talk to me about how hard her twins were while she carried them and after having them. I didn't really want to talk about babies or the birthing process, which may have been the cause of my loss of appetite.
Dinner was made even more difficult by Kai tracing lazy circles up and down my leg, leaving a trail of flames in their wake.
Mia kept making suggestive comments that had me wanting to strangle her. But I guessed she was trying to keep the attention away from herself for once. I figured I would probably have to get her alone the next day to ask her what was going on. It wasn’t really my business, but maybe she would talk to me. She didn’t know how similar we were, how I could relate on so many levels.
His family was staying in a hotel near my house and promised to be by first thing in the morning for breakfast and the opening of the gifts that I didn’t want to open.