“Of course I am.” He scoffs as if me asking offended him.
“How long has it been?” I don’t really think I want to know the answer to this question, but for us to move forward, I need to know.
“A long fucking time,” he murmurs.
“How long is a long fucking time?” I ask. I’m sure our ideas of long are different.
He blows out a breath, closes his eyes, and looks to the ceiling. His hands move to his hips, and his hard cock stands tall and proud against the ridges of his abs. “Eyes up here,” he says when he catches me ogling him.
“How long, Cooper?” I ask, not an ounce of shame for staring. This is my night, and it’s my last with him, so I’m getting the full experience.
“High school,” he mutters.
What did he just say? No way I heard him right. I open my mouth to ask him to repeat it, but his words stop me. “Senior prom, Reese. I never knew if someone was interested in me or my career, and then when I left, all I could think about was you.”
“Me?” I croak. I’m floored by his words. I would never have believed it had I not heard it straight from his mouth. I know Cooper, and I know he’s telling me the truth. How is it possible that it’s been that long for him?
“Yes, you.” His brown eyes soften. “You are the love of my life, Reese. I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you. That it took me this long to admit it to myself. I’ll never make that mistake again. I promise you that.” He pauses. “Are you on the pill?” he asks, swallowing hard.
“Yes, but just the last month or so.”
“Oh.”
“I’m clean too.”
He nods. He thinks he understands, but he has no idea. “Okay.” He nods, accepting my reply as my truth.
“Cooper.” He’s staring at the floor until his eyes pop to mine. “I didn’t sleep with Hunter.”
“What?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t understand. How is that even possible?”
“It’s been since high school for me as well. Prom, senior year.” It sounds crazy even to me that neither of us have expanded our sexual experience since we were seniors in high school. He says it was me, and I know my lack of experience is because all I wanted was him.
“It should have been me,” he says with both sadness and conviction in his voice. “I wish with everything in me that I would have seen what I had right in front of me. It should have only ever been me.” His voice drips with sincerity.
There is so much that just passed between us, so much information provided in just a matter of minutes, that I can’t process it right now. I don’t even want to try. I want him. He wants me. That’s what matters in this moment. “I’m clean, and we’re protected.”
“You sure about this, baby?” His question is softly spoken, but the underlying need in his voice is evident.
“Have you changed your mind?”
“No.” He’s quick to answer. “Never.”
“Then show me.”
His eyes heat, and I know my words are what he needed to hear. In the blink of an eye, he’s lying on the bed next to me. His large calloused hand cups one breast, then the other. “The thought of being inside you, it’s intimidating as fuck, but what’s more is the thought of being inside of you bare. I know I’m not going to last.”
“You don’t know that,” I whisper as his hand roams over my belly and slides between my thighs.
“I do know that. I was worried before, making love to you, the woman I love, for the first time, but this, knowing I get to feel all of you, all of this,” he says, sliding a finger inside me, “It’s more than I can handle. I know that.”
“So you don’t want me?” I ask, and no matter how hard I try to hide the hurt, it’s there, sounding loud and clear in my voice.
“I’ll always want you, Reese. Don’t ever question that. I know I pushed you away, but that’s not going to happen ever again.” He lazily pumps his finger inside me. “I’ll always want you, and I’ll always love you. There’s nothing in this world that will ever change that.”
“So where does that leave us?” I ask, arching my back as he slides another digit inside me.
“That leaves me horny as fuck and dripping with need.” He presses his hips into my thigh, and I can feel the precum on the tip of his cock on my leg. “That means I have to get you off because there are no promises the first time I feel you.”
Reaching down, I wrap my fist around him and stroke. “I’ll take my chances.”
“You deserve better, baby. Let’s just go ahead and make it known that you come first. Always.”
I have to bite down on my lip to keep the sob that threatens to escape locked inside. He keeps talking about this like we’re forever, and I wish that were true. I don’t know how long I’ll have him like this. Open and willing to be with me. We’ve made it further than before, and I want it all. I want all of him at least once before he gets scared again and runs.
“I need you,” I pant as his fingers pump in and out of me. My body tenses and the fire ignites from deep inside.
“Fuck, Reese. I need you too. More than you’ll ever know.” Bending his head, he captures a nipple in his mouth and sucks hard. A moan from somewhere deep inside falls from my lips, and it only fuels him on. His hand pumps faster, and his teeth nip at my breasts before he soothes the ache with his tongue.
I can feel a deep twinge as the fire steadily builds. My grip on his cock tightens while the other hand grips the sheets on the bed.
“Easy, beautiful,” he murmurs, his lips next to my ear.
Realizing I could be hurting him, I let go and reach for his arm instead. “Cooper,” I moan as my body climbs closer and closer to release.
“Give it to me, Reese. Come all over my hand,” he whispers in my ear.
As if his words press a magic button, my orgasm spirals out of control. I have a death grip on his arm, and the sheets, as my back arches off the bed, as the deep timbre of his voice tells me how much he loves me. It all flows through me at the same time as my release.
Bliss
I have no other words to describe the feeling other than pure, uninhibited bliss. My body seems to sink into the mattress, but I know there’s still more to come. This time, I get all of him, and I’m ready. I’ve been ready. Slowly, I open my eyes to find his face close to mine, his eyes burning with desire. His gaze is intense.
“Hi,” he whispers.
“Hi.” I reach out and run my fingers through his hair. I wish I knew what was going through his head. Regardless, I’m not letting him turn me away. Not this time. Knowing I need to be brave, braver than I feel, I open my legs, making room for him. “I’m ready, Coop.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, as he finally pulls his fingers from inside me and brings them to his lips. I watch as he sucks each one into his mouth, his heated brown eyes never leaving mine. Once he’s taken his time, he moves to settle between my legs. His fist, the same one that was just between my thighs, palms his cock as he gives himself a few leisurely strokes.
“Let me,” I say, reaching between us.