Chapter 1
Cooper
I can’t breathe. It physically hurts to pull oxygen into my lungs. There’s a tightness in my chest that I’m afraid will never go away. My hands tightly grip the chair in front of me as I watch Reese walk down the aisle. She’s beautiful, but there was never a doubt that she’d be a vision in a wedding dress. For a minute, I thought she might not go through with it. When our eyes met, and I mouthed to her that I loved her, I thought maybe, just maybe for a fleeting second that she was going to call it all off.
Instead, I watched as she, with her father at her side, put one foot in front of the other, passing me by to go to him. To Hunter. My body is frozen as I watch her. With each step she takes, it’s as if a dagger is piercing my heart.
I don’t want to watch this, but she asked me to be here. I will never again deny her anything. The one time I did has become my biggest regret in life. I had her, in my bed, in my arms, and I pushed her away. That’s a mistake that I have to learn to live with, and one I will damn sure never be making again. I should have told her sooner. Just something else to add to my growing list of regrets.
I can’t look away, no matter how badly I want to. I need to see her do this. I need to listen to her tell him that she vows to love him forever, so that maybe, just maybe, my heart will get the message that she’s not ours.
“Who gives this woman to marry this man?” the preacher asks once Reese and Garrett reach the altar.
“Don’t do it,” I whisper under my breath. Surely Garrett knows she’s meant to be mine. I watch as Garrett brings her hand to his lips and kisses it lightly. He then takes her hand and places it in Hunter’s.
Did you hear that? That loud crack is my heart as it breaks? Millions of shattered pieces that will never be the same, not without Reese.
“Her mother and I do,” Garrett says proudly. He steps away and takes his seat on the front row next to Eve.
My mother is sitting next to Eve, and my father next to her. There’s an empty seat next to my father. It’s the seat I was supposed to sit in. I just… couldn’t. I’m having a hard enough time sitting in the back row. I would be too tempted to drop to my knees in front of her and beg her not to go through with it. Who am I kidding? The temptation is still there.
I texted my parents to let them know I was here but sitting in the back. Mom tried to convince me to come sit with them, but I just can’t. I know they know that this day is hard for me, but they have no idea the depths of the agony I’m in. They don’t know that she’s my heart, and my best friend. They don’t know that her father isn’t the only one giving her away. I’m losing her, and the pain of that steals my breath from my lungs.
“Dearly beloved,” the preacher begins.
Closing my eyes, I say a silent prayer that when I open them, this will have been a nightmare. That I won’t be sitting in the back row of this banquet hall, and the love of my life won’t be about to pledge her love for someone else.
Slowly, I open my eyes.
I’m still here.
She’s still there.
With a man who’s not me.
"If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.” The question echoes throughout the quiet room.
My nails dig into the back of the chair in front of me. I need to say something. I can’t let her do this. I need to stand up and shout out that she’s making a mistake. No one can love her like I can. My grip is so tight on the chair, my knuckles are white, and I’m losing feeling in my hands. I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from yelling out, or hell, maybe it’s to keep my tears at bay. I can feel them brewing as the heat builds behind my eyes.
Steadying my weight on my hands, I push up from my chair at the same time Reese looks out into the crowd. She searches until her eyes lock on mine, causing my heart to stall in my chest. I open my mouth to speak but quickly close it. Instead, I watch as she removes her hands from Hunter’s and takes a small step back. Her hand shoots out behind her, and Tessa hands her something.
I need to do it now, before she goes any further. My mouth is dry, almost as if it’s been stuffed with cotton. I swallow a few times and lick my lips. Here goes nothing. I open my mouth to speak, but her words stop me.
“Hunter. I’m sorry. I- I can’t do this,” she says as her voice cracks.
There’s a collective gasp throughout the room. Low murmurs of surprise ring out while I still stand frozen in the back row, on the left side. The bride’s side. I don’t take my eyes off her as I will her to look at me. She’s up there doing this all on her own, and I want to be with her. I want to stand beside her, my head held tall as she makes this announcement.
I want to do all of that, but my feet won’t move. It’s as if they’re glued to the floor, and all I can do is stand and watch this play out. Hunter reaches for her, but she takes another step back and shakes her head. I can see the tremble in her hands as she removes her engagement ring from her left hand and places it in his.
Her mouth is moving, but I can’t hear what she’s saying. She drops her hands to her sides and looks over her shoulder at Tessa. I see it all in slow motion as she turns on her heel and rushes to the side of the room, disappearing behind the door. I watch her go, with Tessa hurrying along behind her.
The door slams closed behind Tessa, and suddenly the crowd grows louder. All I can do is stare at the door. I wanted this to happen, but she’s hurting, and I hate that. I need to go to her. I need to hold her in my arms and tell her that everything is going to be okay. I need to show her how much I love her and support her through this.
Shaking out of my fog, I slowly release my grip on the chair in front of me and flex my hands, helping to circulate the blood flow. I move to take a step, but a firm hand presses on my shoulder. Turning to look, I see Nixon standing there.
“Come with me,” he says, keeping his voice low.
“I can’t. I have to go to her.” I shake my head.
“She’s with Tess, and your best bet of finding out where that is, is through me. Let’s go.” With his hand on my arm, he pulls me behind him. We rush through the double doors and down the hall that leads outside.
“Where are we going? I’m not leaving. I have to go to her. Damn it, Nix, Let go!” I yell into the parking lot.
“They left, Cooper. She’s not here. Now shut the hell up and get in the car.”
“What do you mean they left? How could she have just left that soon? Where did they go?” I fire off a multitude of questions.
“Get in the fucking car, Cooper,” he says through gritted teeth as the door we just escaped through opens.
“Cooper!” Garrett calls out.
I give Nixon a pleading look, and he mutters, “Fuck,” under his breath. I turn to look at Garrett.
“Where is she?” he calls out as he approaches.
“We’re going to her now.” That’s really all I’ve got.
He nods. His eyes darting between Nixon and me. I know I should say something like I’ve got this, and I’ll take care of her, but the truth is, I’m not sure where they are, and I have no idea what I’m up against. I wanted her to call it off, but this… her running out, that’s not Reese. My chest is heavy from guilt, but there is also a sense of relief that washes over me. Both emotions pulling in equal measures.