I was lucky.
Lucky that Nico was the way he was with me. He could have been much worse, and I could have been lost beyond the reach.
"Here, baby," Max pushed a glass into my hands, the liquid in it in ripples. It took me a moment to figure out it was because my hands were shaking. In fact, my whole body was trembling. "It's vodka. It will warm you from the inside and help with the shakes."
I hated hard liquor and tried to give it back.
"Drink it," he commanded. "It will help. I promise."
I did as I told and gulped the shot. It burned on its way down.
"Again," Max was pouring another shot. "Drink."
This time I did it without any pushback. It burned again, but a few seconds later, I felt lighter. The muscles in my shoulders relaxed.
"Damn, this burns," I turned my head and watched as Melanie made a face.
I didn't even know she was here, let alone sitting right next to me. I lost all semblance of time while we sat in the living room, not saying anything, each of us trapped in our head. I jumped when a phone started to ring.
"Yeah?" Max answered his phone, and instantly his face was like thunder. "You have got to be kidding me."
I was on instant alert.
"What?" I whispered.
"What's the damage?" he ignored my what.
"Max, what?" I yelled.
He looked at me, shook his head once, then his attention was back on his phone, and whoever was speaking on the other end.
"No fucking way," he snarled. "Not tonight, she's been through enough."
Oh, dear God, what was going on.
"Yeah, she was there," he said.
"Fuck," he said. "Yeah, I know."
After a brief moment, during which both Melanie and I looked at Max, pacing up and down his living room, then hanging his head in defeat.
"Yeah, we can do it here. I need you to give me twenty minutes."
Max listened some more.
"But brother, be gentle," he said and ended the call.
He stood there and looked at the floor.
"Fucking hell," he repeated three times.
It almost seemed that he was working up the courage to do something. I didn't get a chance to ask what for. That was because he was in front of, crouched, his palms warm against my face, doing the impossible of making it feel like everything was right in the world.
"I need you to listen to me," he began, his eyes searching mine. Only when I nodded did he continue. "Two hours ago, the DEA raided your warehouse. Thanks to information provided by Denver S.W.A.T. and the findings of their undercover agent, they were able to find enough evidence to put Barone away for good."
"Do I want to know what they found?" I whispered.
"No, baby," he whispered back, his eyes still searching.
"Undercover agent?"
"We’ll get back to that," his face suddenly was guarded. As if he was keeping something from me. "What's important is that you know-"
"Wait," I stopped him. "What about the girls?"
"They're okay. All of them are currently in a hospital behind guarded doors, getting a full workup. As far as I know, not one of them was severely injured during the action, but that's all I know. "
"Can I go visit them? "I asked.
"Why would you want to do that?"
"I need to apologize for what happened to them," I said.
"Do not take on the actions of Nico Barone," he ordered. "You are not in the wrong here. If anything, you are his victim."
It wasn't my intention to do that, but they were held hostage in my building, and I didn't even know it. Let alone try and find a way to rescue them. But Max was right. I didn't do this.
I didn't go out in the middle of the night and snatched five women off the streets and ended up selling them. If that were how one would do it. I had no idea. But I knew deep down I needed to do something. They had to know they were not alone.
"I won't, and I'm not. But I want to do something else too."
"What do you want?" he asked, the anger still lingering, but there was something else on his face. Something that looked a lot like a surprise.
"I need to see for myself that they're all right. I need to see if I can help them in any way."
As I talked, his face changed, going gentle. Until finally, when the last word left my mouth, he was giving me such a look, I had to close my eyes so I could burn in it into my memory and be able to call it up day or night. It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life. While I was doing precisely that, he moved his hands until my forehead hit his mouth.
"Yeah, Bean, I can take you to see them."
"Bean, I have to tell you something," regret was dripping from every syllable he said.
I couldn't figure out what he had to be sorry for. He has done everything he could to help me.
He was there whenever I needed him. Nico and his men were behind bars, and I was safe.
He did that.
Max made it safe for me.
I didn’t know how, but I’m sure he was the one doing it. Before I met him, nothing happened. I didn’t even know what kind of person Nico was. And after I met Max, it all blew up, and Nico went away. I was safe to live my life as I saw fit.
"Although the raid was successful-" he stopped.
"Just say it, Max," I urged him.
Fear was starting to grip my insides. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
"Nico Barone was not arrested," I pushed out the words.
“I need to go,” I shot up to my feet, dislodging his face.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he exploded. “I will not let him fuck up your life even more than he has.”
The vow hit me in the center of my chest, right behind the ribs.
“You can’t promise me that,” I wailed.
I wanted to believe him
I really did.
But any time I started to hope that all would be over, that I could carry on, the world around me collapsed.
“I can, and I am.”
“You can’t,” I repeated. “Besides, I can’t put you in danger any more than I already did. Can't you see? I will never be free of him.”
“You’re already free of him, Bean,” he stated, and I decided he was delusional. “Don’t let this push you back into your shell.”