I hear Reeve’s words, knowing he’s to the left of me, but I don’t make any choice to move. He’s here, so I am safe.
“I needed some air,” I reply, eyes still closed. His deep footsteps give him away as he comes closer, his coat arm brushing my own when he stands next to me. Silence overtakes us as we stand shoulder to shoulder, and my heart clenches as his pinky wraps around my own.
“It means nothing,” he says from next to me, voice deep and husky. “It can happen sometimes at gigs, and it always means nothing, Emilia.”
“You could have told her to fuck off. You’re not exactly the friendliest guy to everyone, Reeve. I’ve seen you reject girls for less.” My words carry a bite colder than the night air.
He lets out a deep breath. “I could have. But ever since we got together, I’ve overanalyzed every move we make in public.”
“So, will it always be like this? Hiding, having to watch one another talk to randoms just to throw our family off our scent?” Every word that comes out is bitter.
“You know that’s not true. Once we’ve figured everything out, it won’t matter who knows, Em. You said you didn’t want to go public right now. Has that changed?”
I shake my head, unsure of anything anymore. “No,” I tell him. “It’s better to keep this to ourselves for now. It’s just been a long night, Reeve. I want to go home.”
Opening my eyes, I decide to rejoin reality, and the first thing in my sight is Reeve staring straight at me. He says nothing, instead linking our hands together, then drawing me away from the wall and into his arms. I suck in a shaky breath, nuzzling my face into his warm neck. It’s here that everything feels as if it will be fine. Yet when he has to pull away from me, the world suddenly feels so unstable again.
Reeve doesn’t mention our moment outside the pub again. Instead we all go home, and Ali and Stana quickly retreat to their bedroom. I wait an hour before cracking open my door and scurrying down the hall. As if he knew I was coming, Reeve pulls back the sheets, an invitation for me to climb in. With zero hesitation, I rush over, making sure my bare feet dance over the wooden floorboards, careful not to let them ring out.
Once I’m in the safety of his arms, Reeve kisses me. His lips cling to my own as his arms trail up my sides. With each kiss and touch, I can tell he’s trying to take away my pain from tonight. And in this moment, it works. I forget about it all, only being present with him, in this moment.
Yet when it’s all over, and his breathing evens out, I can’t help but let my mind wander, doubts about our relationship looming over my head despite my attempts to ignore them.
“Where are you going?” Reeve’s sleep-filled voice calls out to me as I try to slip from the bed. My body rears back as my warm feet connect with the chilly ground, slapping me awake.
“If I don’t leave now, I never will, and I doubt Ali waking up to the two of us in bed is a good way to tell him we’re together.”
Reeve groans, trying to pull me back, but I slip out of his grasp.
“Go back to bed—it’s only six a.m. I’ll make brekkie at eight.”
By the time I’m at the door, he’s already fast asleep.
“Colin asked if we’d join him tonight for another set,” Ali says, leaning against the kitchen cabinet, his white top stained with milk that falls from his cereal spoon.
“It’s our last night,” Reeve replies, not really giving a proper response. Stana comes into the room, her hair wet from a shower.
“What’s happening?” she asks, stealing a handful of cereal out of the box and eating it dry. I don’t know how people do that.
“Colin wants us to come back and do another gig tonight, but Reeve made a good point—it is our last night.”
Stana waves him off. “I don’t care. It’s not like we had huge wild plans anyway. Em, do you care?” She turns to me in question.
Despite the events of the night before, I don’t in fact mind the guys performing again. It’s what they love, and I love seeing them up there.
“I don’t mind at all.” I smile, trying to really show it’s not an issue. I see Reeve practically boring holes into the side of my head, maybe hoping we could have some alone time tonight, but escaping these two is next to impossible.
“Mate?” Ali asks Reeve, who only shrugs in response.
“Okay then,” Ali says, clapping his hands together. “I’ll go call Colin.”
Stana and I grin before she grabs my hand, then drags me out of the kitchen to help her with her hair. I wink at Reeve before I leave, just fast enough to catch his smirk.
“It really is packed tonight,” Stana says to me, clutching her vodka soda close. I nod, sipping on my rosé and willing away any chance of getting upset about people who don’t matter.
I spot the guys with their instruments heading to the stage. Ali takes front and center, starting off with “Beverly Hills” by Weezer, an ode to Stana. He played it for her the first night she came to Saint Street. To say it’s been on rotation since then is an understatement. They segue into a few other songs before leading into some stuff they’ve been writing.
Coming to a close, Ali steps back to be more guitar-focused in the next song. Reeve adjusts his mic and dives into songs he’s written, prominent fixtures at Saint Street on a Wednesday night.
“I always thought this was an interesting song,” Stana whispers about their song “Twisted.”
I nod. “Yeah, they wrote it a few years back. People tend to love it.”
Stana grins at me, eyes squinted.
“What?” I ask.
Throwing her dark hair over her shoulder, she redirects her attention to the stage. “Just the lyrics, I guess,” she says, her attention completely on Ali.
I’ve known the lyrics to this song for years, ever since the guys introduced it, but for the first time, I listen, and I mean really listen. Reeve’s intense eyes meet my own as he practically bleeds the lyrics.
You speak through drunken daze
Eyes glassy but never more clear
Your words putting my mind in a haze
I walk away with my dear friend fear
Little girl, why can’t you stay away
You won’t be my secret now
And I can’t give you a say
I’d keep you as friend
Over losing you another way
Our bond it will not mend
If you push another day
Little girl, stay away
You won’t be my secret now
I just can’t give you a say
I’m not sure which moment I realize—it could be when I choke on my drink or when Reeve sings the final line, his eyes boring holes into my own. But I do realize. This isn’t just any song. It’s a song about me. A song he’s been singing for years.
I’m speechless, unsure how I could have missed it all this time, how I could have been so blind to it. I’ve been singing the lyrics to this song since the day they all played it. I guess I just assumed since Ali also sang other songs that he co-wrote it. How wrong I was.
Reeve and Ali finish up, then come back over to sit with us girls, Reeve making an effort to be overtly unfriendly to most people. I feel like a bit of a dick, knowing he’s trying to please me, but my mind stops me from reading into it too much as I’m still overanalyzing the song.