"Don't let me interrupt. I'm just here for coffee." I don't know where I found the words, but I knew that I couldn't continue to stand there and do nothing.
Goldie reacted with a gasp as she looked my way, and then covered her initial reaction with a knowing smirk. She was learning fast from the other girls. She already had her slutty bitch expression down pat.
"You're not interrupting anything," Sax grated.
"Yet," Goldie smiled. Her hand began to roam up his leg on the outside of his jeans.
Why wasn't he pushing her away? I wanted to scream for her to take her hands off my man, but everyone knew that we were no longer together.
"Let's go back to my bed, baby."
Oh, God…he'd spent the night with her?
"Shut it," Sax growled.
I felt sick inside. I couldn't take the sight of them together any longer and made my way to the coffee maker. Cups had already been laid out, so I filled one and fixed it the way I liked it. As I was taking my first sip, I glanced up at the clock over the sink to see that it was only six o'clock. I should probably start making breakfast.
I purposely kept my back to Sax and Goldie, praying that they left.
"Get up and go put some clothes on," I heard Sax demand. "I'm sure you were told the fucking rules when we're on lockdown."
I heard Goldie make a disappointed sound and could just imagine the pout on her face. Wordlessly she left the kitchen, leaving behind a trail of stale perfume. I wondered how many times Sax had been with her, if he was fucking the other club girls, too.
Suddenly I felt his presence behind me, and then his warm breath against my neck as he leaned in. "You sent me into her bed," he whispered into my ear. "It's your fault I'm putting my dick in other bitches."
I closed my eyes tightly, as if it would keep out his hurtful words. I felt my heart race and wondered if it was the caffeine. What he was saying didn't make sense to me. "Then why are you still fucking me?" I found the strength to ask, keeping my back to him.
"You should be asking yourself that question, Baby," he grated in a cold voice. "You make it so fucking easy."
I sucked in my breath because, God, he was right. I'd made it all too easy for him, and my only excuse was that I'd never stopped loving Sax, had never stopped wanting him. Down deep I knew that once he discovered the level of my deceit, he wouldn't want anything to do with me, and then it would truly be over.
I should have never come back.
"Look who I've got!" Annie breezed into the kitchen with a bright-eyed Ava in her arms. "I heard this little munchkin when I was passing your room."
My heart warmed at the sight of my daughter. "She was still sleeping when I came down for coffee." I had planned to bring it up to my room to drink.
Sax stepped away from me, and I immediately felt the cold air replace the warmth of his body. "Hi, baby." I leaned forward to kiss Ava on her forehead. "Thank you for bringing her down." I set my cup down and reached for her.
"I changed her for you." We exchanged smiles before Annie turned her attention toward Sax. "Good morning."
"Morning." He turned and poured himself a cup of coffee.
"I bet she's hungry." Annie ran a finger gently over Ava's chubby cheek.
"She's always hungry, aren't you, baby?"
"I can't wait to have one of my own." Annie’s gaze moved back and forth between Sax and me. There was a question in her eyes that she wisely didn't ask.
"Are you and Colton trying?"
Annie nodded. "Yeah, it's time. We've been married eight years."
My eyes widened with surprise. "I didn't know that." I arranged Ava against my cocked hip, knowing that she would let me know when she was ready to eat. Her curious focused behind me as she watched Sax at the coffee maker.
A sigh escaped Annie. "Yeah, we got married when we were still teenagers, and he was in another MC. With everyone starting to have babies around here...." She let her sentence trail off with a shrug.
"You won't regret it," I said, forgetting about Sax for a moment. "Having a little mini you or Colton running around, knowing that he or she is part of you both, it just makes your life feel complete. I can't imagine life without Ava. She brought me back from a dark time." It was true. Finding out that I was pregnant after the sexual assault had helped me to heal and move on.
"Baby." Colton walked into the room and went straight to Annie, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
Colton was a handsome man, but at the moment he looked like death warmed over. His hair was sticking up everywhere, and his eyes were bloodshot. He was slightly pale, too, and I noticed that there was a bloody bandage wrapped around his ribs beneath his cut. I refrained from asking what had happened, knowing that it wouldn't do any good. “Club business” would be the standard reply, though I was certain that Annie knew the details.
I could see that Colton was okay, so I asked instead, "Did anyone else get hurt?"
"No one who matters," Sax muttered.
He and Sax exchanged silent looks that spoke volumes before Colton said, "No worries, honey."
Annie made a sound of annoyance. "If you say so. Doc's been in with Snake since you returned."
"He'll be okay, Babe, swear." He crossed his heart and reached out to run his finger down Ava's nose. "Good morning, little darlin'."
Ava giggled and reached out for his finger.
"You sure got yourself a cutie here."
My heart swelled with pride. "Thank you."
"She looks just like her mama."
If there was a compliment in there somewhere, I didn't hear it in Sax's cold tone. I met his eyes in surprise that he'd looked at Ava long enough to come to that conclusion. It was true, though, Ava looked just like me. If she had any of her father in her I couldn't see it, which pleased me immensely. If her daddy turned out to be one of my rapists, I wouldn't be reminded of him every day when I looked into my daughter's face.
Ava pulled Colton's finger toward her mouth, but Annie quickly snatched it away. "You don't want that nasty old finger in your mouth, sweetheart."
He gave Annie a look of hurt. "I washed my hands after I took my morning piss.”
"Good to know," I laughed along with them. "But you might want to be careful of the teeth Ava has coming in."
"That must hurt," Annie smiled knowingly.
A soft laugh escaped me as I rubbed noses with Ava. "That's why starting today I'm weaning her off breast feeding."
Loco walked into the kitchen at the tail end of my statement, a smile spreading across his face. "Always wondered what breast milk tasted like."
Annie and I exchanged amused glances before I decided to call his bluff. "Would you like a taste?"
His eyes flicked down to my breasts, and then over to Sax. Sax was glaring angrily at Loco. "No thanks. I like my dick right where it is," he joked, moving on to the coffee maker.
"Well if you change your mind, I have a bottle already pumped in the fridge."
"Where's the fun in that?"
Annie slapped Colton behind the head. "What?" The teasing gleam in his eyes revealed that he already knew what. He gave Annie a wink.